my mom tried to kill herself last night

Moving out sounds to me like running away from the problem and giving her mom exactly what she doesn't need. Perhaps she does need some time alone, but it doesn't need to be time alone in the context of everyone running away from her.

Once again, I'm not there, so I really can't say anything definitively

 

About moving out...it's very hit or miss. My mom is moving out now because, honestly, I'm an enabler to her moods, her actions, her irresponsibility, and her immaturity. i don't mean to do it and I don't mean to get that way with her, but I'd rather do whatever she tells me to than to deal with her screaming and yelling.

Take the situation into consideration first and feel what you think would be best...if you feel like you're fueling anything...then yes, move out.

 

well actually today everything is 100% normal. as if it didn't even happen. in fact later i think we're going xmas shopping. i'm pretty happy that as a family we aren't dwelling on this, i think its best we just move on and i think thats whats happening.

 

That's great! Just make sure you are staying cautious to the situation. I had to feed my mother her pills for a few months before putting them back in the cabinet. Make sure you keep up with knowing she's getting help. Suicidal feelings don't go away over night. A part of me still doesn't trust my mother. When I know she's been drinking and I know she's upset, I watch her every move...even if that means staying up all night.

You have to develop a sense of knowing when you're mother is getting really depressed and make sure you are there for her. I know...it shouldn't be that way because you are her child...but sometimes you have to take the initiative and be the adult when it comes to a parent with depression

 

it's too bad about your dad. is there any other family member you can talk to about all this? 16 is awfully young for this type of responsibility.

 

WTF? Your mum is very selfish in my opinion. She's lucky that you still have contact with her. I hope you things work out for yourself and your focusing on your own future without this horrible memory dragging you down

When things are this bad your really have no option but to think about your own happiness K? :H Your just a kid and shouldn't be going through this.

 

Although I enjoy your honesty, this is difficult, especially for a young girl. It is understandable for you to think she is selfish, but you have to realize that she almost lost her mother...that's tough for a girl due to the relationship most girls have with their mother-especially during teenage years

I though my mom was very selfish (which come to find out, she is), but our relationship grew stronger.

 

I stated earlier that my granmother does the same thing. She has no say in her relationship with my grandfather, which is really sad. When he goes too far, she tries to kill herself. The last time was on her birthday, a couple of months ago. After it happens, my grandmother always acts like everything is normal, that is until she tries to kill herself again. I don't think she really wants to kill herself, or she would have offed herself by now. I think it is just a cry for help and attention. I'm not there, so I don't know, but your mom might be the same way. December is the hardest time for alot of people, especially if they are dealing with depression. As far as moving out, that is a personal decision you are going to have to make for yourself. No one can tell you what to do on that situation. I stated earlier that it might be best for you to move out. I said this because you say everyone was blaming you for this, that tells me that the two of you aren't getting along that well. I said you might want to move out, because it might keep the peace. Just follow your heart. It will tell you the right thing to do. I'm really glad that everything seems to be okay now, and I pray it continues to stay that way. I think Lovelyxmalia was right in stating that if you do stay, you need to monitor your mom. She's lucky to have a daughter that cares as much as you do. I wish you all the best. Peace

 

Lotsa love Green Faerie.

 

thank you everyone for your support! :grouphug:


my mom had a brief talk with me yesterday, and she said she wanted to make it really clear to my sister and i that her decision had nothing to do with us at all. she also said part of the reason she asked for help and got taken to the hospital was because after she took the pills, she was thinking about my sister and i and how much she loved us, and how she didn't want to leave us.

 

often people forget that parents are just people
your issues don't just go away when you have children
you don't just change when you have a child
you're still going to be dealing with the same issues you've always been dealing with, and often having children intensives them

i'm sorry this happened green faerie
much love to you
:hug:

 

thats really true.

thank you. :hug:

 

I understand that but, if an adult brings a child into this world then they are responsible for their start in life. Even if a mother or father has personal problems, they should put that aside and focus on the mental health and happiness of their children. Kids are like sponges and absorb everything. Parents should even refrain from fighting infront of their children imo. You can't protect them from the world all their lives but you can give them a stable, loving environment that they can call home. I think people can achieve this without alot of money too.

(I'm not a father yet but when I become one, I'm going to put most of the selfish things I do aside (coughs) )

At least you'll be 18 soon and have your independence green faerie

 

I'm really, really sorry to hear that love. My mother has had many bouts with suicial threats and attempts. Heck, she's in one of her "I have nothing in my life, I wish I were dead" frames of mind right now, yet again. I have no idea how to help her, because she won't LET anyone help her, won't answer her phone, won't talk to anyone, just keeps wallowing in her misery, shutting everyone out. It's so frustrating and hard on the loved ones.

Hang in there honey.

{{{Hugs}}}

 

thank you.

i'm really sorry about your mom, its so much harder when you can't even reach out to offer support. thats terrible. :hug:

 

The talk is important. My mother and I ended up talking about it a week after she got out of the hospital. My mother said when she tried to commit suicide, she wasn't thinking about us, she wasn't thinking about anything. She hasn't done anything crazy like that since. It's important to talk about it to her...how much it hurt you, how upset you were, etc. Make sure you always tell her you love her, too. Of course she knows, but somoene who is depressed needs to hear it sometimes.

 

not to be rude, but puitting everythign aside is no better example for the kids. bottling shit up just teaches the kids to bottle up all their emotions and problems and let them out in explosive bangs that damage everyone around them
believe me, its what my parents did and its how i turned out. a few of my friends are the same way as well.

 

Putting everything aside? When did I endorse that motion? I'm not asking her to bottle up anything. It's good that she decided to post about these events in her life for advice.

We should go to PM seeing as green faerie is only 16 I think you are seriously wrong with your current statement

 

i can just close my eyes and put my fingers in my ears and say "lalalalalalalala" if you'd like. :tongue:

 

I'm very sorry to here about that. I've had the same experience growing up.

You should certainly try your best. She's your mom. But the reality is, you aren't responsible for her mental anguish, and since that's the case, theres no magical thing you can do to make everything alright.

Your mother needs to see professionals, and she needs to confront whatever it is that's making her feel this way. It's going to be hard for you to explain this to her without getting emotional. She's your mom, and your love for her and your confusion about all this will cloud all that up.

But I promise you, the best thing you can do is be there for her, and try and convince her to get help.

This isn't easy, and you don't deserve to deal with this. But you love your mom, so dealing with it's your reality.

All the best. If you ever need anything, I'll be here for you. :hug: