definitely not my best poem..it was actually a writer's block break...so its pretty much crap anyway...any feedback would be cool Trapped within this metal box Shutting out the light Living claustrophobically too scared, too weak to fight I once pounded on the iron walls till I broke and bled Crippled now - too frail to stand My iron floor stained red These silver walls now laugh at me A glinting cheshire cat That smiles as I die slowly Wearing a Madman's hat But the torture worst of all Is hearing the decietful drone That locked me in this metal box The Voice that is my own I am my captor I am my slave I am hiding the heart - that begs to be saved I am sprawled on my deathbed Lying word by word I am screaming the truth inside but through iron, it cant be heard I am the fading soul Alone I sit and cry for my voice doesn't know that without me, it shall die for a body devoid of a soul is like love without a heart theres nothing to pump the emotion they cannot exist apart I wish I could see the truth But the false voice still talks So I lie and die, alone Inside my metal box
I loved the melodic rhythm in your poem. The words were very meaningful to me, as I feel that in my own life at this point. Keep up the good writing. You really have talent.