My Mental History.

Well, I don't like to repeat. But I think I will to make myself clear.

I think I've settled on the decision that that man will be my guardian now. But I want full medical consent, full knowledge of everything that is going on in my life and all the other rights I can have with that. And I want a car always. I know a guardian would not be required to do that normally, always provide a car. But my life and safety are now in danger living in Detroit, now that someone has told my neighbors something horrible and untrue. Something horrible and untrue, but something that can never be taken back, and that will haunt me and endanger my safety here for the rest of my life. And that man will make sure I am well-cared for in every way. That I have, in addition to food and housing, all the medical care that I need. All the medical care that I need, now that I have been permanently damaged by those psychiatric drugs that I never agreed to, and never should have been taking. And all the things I may need to make my house handicapped accessible, if ever necessary. Because I want to live here as long as possible. Even in a nice group home or nursing home, I'd lose all medical consent and much of the control over my life that I have now. And, to be blunt, he should be made to know now that if he decides not to do these things at any point in the future, he will face consequences. Consequences because my life, safety and welfare are at stake. And he will always be able to afford all of this. He lives a comfortable life in a rich suburb. And if he ever claims he can't, ever claims again that my auto insurance is costing him too much for example, someone should ask him. Does he need some many vacations to Europe? Does he need so many cars now that is his wife is staying or working at home? You don't ask that of a trustee. But a guardian you always could. Because he literally has no choice.

Now I obviously have a legal guardian ad litem because someone thinks I can't make my own decisions, or that the decisions I make are somehow reckless or poorly thought. But I think what I decided here shows how practical and reasonable I can be when I have to. Am I wrong?

 

Another weird thing in my life, when any of these experiences I have already described here happen, it's very strange. It's almost like the person doing them somehow knew I'd be telling people about the events years later. When that doctor denied the side effect akathisia even existed, when my 1986-92 psychiatrist did the many highly unethical things he did, many of which endangered my life and safety. They all did those things in ways that seemed to anticipate this. The way they did it, the things they did. Even the things they said then, which I thought nothing of at the time. It almost was like they knew I'd be telling people about it all, many years later.

So I've grown accustomed to planning things well in advance myself. Be careful what I do and what I say too. So, if for no other reason, someone doesn't basically falsely accuse of something some day, I guess among other reasons. If that makes any sense. But then in 1992 and 1994 something weird started happening. They started telling me even that wouldn't work. Because although the accusation might be false, it would seem there was still overwhelming evidence I did the deed. Numerous witnesses would come forward. Numerous false witnesses of course. But the public wouldn't know that. And that got me worried. Because how could I defend myself against charges if that was the case? Plus that could cause me serious problems too if the accusations were of a serious nature.

 

As I said, this will be my argument now from now on and forever more, what I have shared here so far. I don't care if my case ever is resolved. Frankly it doesn't look like that will ever happen. And how would I know if it had? But I want to make sure what happens to me never happens to anyone in Detroit and Michigan ever again. And then with the passage of time, each month now I think, I will ramp up my demands. And that will be my new case from them on. And one thing about me, I do tend to stick with plans. Call it my mild OCD, I guess LOL.

But more on the car thing. I was thinking just now. Our trusted pharmacist accused me of a serious in that crowded store in the middle of the day in 2011. With many of my neighbors present, I'm sure. And I was supposed to continue going there? Like I said, the last time for sure I can say this issue came up was September 11, 2013 in that nearby city with that first responder. Actually for the record, my guardian is still complaining my car insurance is costing him too much. So he's clearly still thinking of it. But like I said with him as my legal guardian from now on, we can juste approach his role in all of this legally. Because he will keep bringing it up, we know he will. And my life is literally in danger where I live now. Also, there was guard there who was killed once. In the parking lot at night. And I seem to recall that that was at the time when I was still supposed to be walking there, till my feet ached, to get my prescription medications, some of which are very important I take. This might have been around the turning point in all of this. Because my therapist assured me one the matter is resolved. (But then right he told that, my guardian started complaining again my auto insurace was too much for him. Even though he vacations in Europe.)

Also, there is a police officer who lives in the neighborhood. I already told my therapist I am going to make him part of the investigation. He must know something about all of this and all was going on in the neighborhood at the time. And he's a police officer so we know he'll be honest and people will find him credible.

 

And I am going to add to my claim. You know, I might not always live in Detroit. Who knows what the future holds. There is a lot of violent crime here and other social and other problems too. I was actually thinking of moving to nearby Livonia for a while now. Or actually, moving to some city in Oakland County wouldn't be that bad. Oakland County is much closer to my house, so I am very familiar with the area. But I still must always have a car, for a couple of reasons.

It is important for my independence and mobility. Like I said, my psychiatrist, my legal guardian and all those others, thought I could be walking around the dangerous streets of Detroit. To that drug store where the guard was killed. And they thought somehow I'd find a way to go to my doctors, some of who are as far away as Plymouth, Westland and Novi. And they thought that at a time when they all knew I had Type 2 Diabetes and neuropathy in my feet. And they also knew I couldn't legally have a concealed pistol license in Michigan, as I walked around the dark, winter streets, with the late hours I keep. Because my case was adjudicated in 1992. I was declared a risk to myself in 1992 because I wore disposable plastic gloves that might some day lead to infection and death. That sham civil trial is a matter of public record now. And the law of Michigan says you can never own a gun if you've been declared a danger to yourself, for any reason. Plus frankly I think everyone, or a lot of people in any event, knew I had Cerebral Palsy too. Someone clearly did, I know. So, those are the practical reasons why I must always have a car.

And also I have been the victim of discrimination, harassment and abuse with the car issue for over 20 years. My legal guardian at least still thinks my auto insurance costs him too much. That is the last thing he said to me on it, he still talks about that in private with me. So therefore that one is still going on. And it deliberately or knowingly put me in danger and endangered my health too. (And deliberately and knowingly are both the same thing. Obviously they are.) So since this is part of my legal and patient's rights claim, that is was used as a form of abuse and unequal treatment, and to deliberately put me in harm's way. That is my argument too.

 

Like I said, I am aware of the fact I am signing fake consent forms and entering nonexistent contracts. I am well aware of it. Actually I always suspected something. When I have one of my periodic medical proceedures, my guardian always walks into the back room. Obviously because he is the one who signs for all my medical procedures. I don't have the legal capacity to do so. Like I said, that is going to change. Even if I have to keep him as my legal guardian, I want full medical consent, and full medical knowledge too, along with all my other full knowledge. I will spend the rest of my life fighting it and exposing it to others. Because I will never know when it is over with. And no one has even tried to trick me into believing that it is. They wouldn't convince me of that anyways, or anything else. They've lost all my trust, and they'll never regain it. But I think I will probably stop signing those fake consent forms after a while. It's so moronic. And like I told one doctor, if he or anyone else denies me any procedure because I refuse play along with that game, I am filing a patient's rights abuse complaint. Against him, and my guardian too. And I want that nonsense where I'm being denied all access to the legal system to stop immediately too. That one legal advocacy group will always be part of my legal claim, for the rest of my life. I reached out for help, and they just ignored me. Obviously because they thought it was prudent, or maybe that court told legal aid societies to just ignore me. Well, be forewarned, members of that court and others. Anytime anyone ignores me, I will consider that another form of playing along. And then I will be filing legal and ethical claims against them for the rest of my life too. I hope someone should tells them that.

And whoever heard of an emergency that has lasted over 15 years? And how could perjury, legal misrepresentation and sham court proceedings ever be legal? I am going to see if I can change that in Michigan. I know I am just one man, but I'll do my best. Because neither one of those could be. My case is not at all extreme. And it's frightening how both of those could be misused against people who try to use the legal system, in good faith, to fight for their rights. I am going to expose, and warn too. Warn everyone I meet, perhaps. I say this next one more lightheartedly. But if I am ever in a courtroom again, I will probably be telling people in the restrooms, shouting as I walk down the halls and shouting out of the windows if necessary. Because people have a right to know. And if I am under a gag order not to tell, I will tell all the more people who I am allowed to tell. Or wait until the gag order expires, and tell more people still. And maybe find new ways of spreading that information. Maybe get a free website, like I once had.

Also. I am not a lawyer. But I think in law that is called legal necessity. But there has been a legal necessity since at least 2011? No emergency could last that long. And perjury and misusing the justice system should never ever be allowed. We are definitely looking into that too. I know in the news a while back they were talking about safe-haven laws. A woman can leave her unwanted baby at a safe place like a firehouse or hospital. But one state said she could dump her unwanted kid up till age 18. Legally it seems to me, the emergency there expires a day after the birth. Or maybe a week, I don't know. Then it becomes child abandonment again. And if you try to get rid of your son or daughter at age 17 years and 364 days, it's not just child abandonment. It's child abuse and neglect at that point. They repealed or overturned that law I think. We'll have to look into the one in Michigan that says nonviolent people who have never spent the night in jail can be abused and neglected by their guardian who thinks their being abused someday is funny, and still be under that same guardianship for over 15 years. And then are teased and taunted as they beg the court for help. I am submitting another type of legal complaint now. That's all I'll say for now. And then I will have to find someone else after that. Maybe an old fashioned patient's rights abuse claim could help me with that court too. I don't know, I've never even tried that.

And like I said, I want the fake consent form nonsense to end soon. I'll do it for maybe one more year, and then I'll stop. And if anyone denies me care then, I'll file a complaint saying I am being denied medical care over this nonsense. And I want legal aid groups to stop playing along with the charade. And again for the record, when they ignore my emails or phone calls, I consider that playing along too.

 

As I think I already told you all before. If this were a criminal matter everyone would have to be truthful with me. Anyways, it sure feels like a criminal matter to me. My rights have been violated, I've been mentally abused, my life has been endangered and I have been permanently damaged. And I have been treated with horrible bias inspite of the fact, or maybe because of the fact I am handicapped. But you know, that police officer in my neighborhood may be of some help here. He must have seen something about that too. Like I said, I am already starting a new legal process. I think I will ask them to look into to it, to interview him to see if there were any crimes committed against me here.

 

But you know, my mental and intellectual status has never been clear to me. When I was 7, around 1975, a nice lady psychiatrist told my parents with me present, he's perfectly normal (perfectly, she said). I see no problem here, just take him home and he'll be all right. It was only in 2011 that my therapist told me she didn't think I was all right. I had minor problems. The next time I saw a psychiatrist was in high school in 1984. So I guess someone was still in my life giving mental health advice for me, but behind the scenes. Because I suspected I wasn't perfectly normal. But I thought others didn't notice and maybe only I thought that.

But I have many unique rituals and traditions that I observe. When dollar stores, and specifically the Dollar Tree came out, I started buying stuff there that otherwise might be out of my price range. Like a flexible curve ruler once. One lady online told me about 20 years ago they are very expensive. She was surprised I only paid a dollar for it. And they are useful in some situations. Also, I bought some stranger items. Like a white teddy bear. Growing up my teddy bear was inflated and made of a rubbery material. It wasn't soft and cuddly like other kids' teddy bears. But I used to tell people the love and emotional support I got growing up made up for that. I called the white teddy bear Polaris. Polaris is another name for the Northern Star, used for guiding ships. Around the time I got him I still wasn't sure of my intellectual status. But I still thought I should come up with a fancy name for him. Actually, this is the first time I ever told anyone that fact, his name. In 20 years, like I said. I also might as well tell you, when I started sneaking out late at night to be free and enjoy a life outside I couldn't have during the day. The first time I did that was April 3, 1985 like I said. I dubbed those "Nightly Excursions". Now I did finally start telling my therapists the name of those by 2011. And my doctors and other people in my life found out I was doing that by 1986. My 1986 therapist used to talk to me about that, I still remember. Yeah, I called that Nightly Excursions because when I took that Haldol for over a month November to December 1984 it almost turned me into a mental vegetable. It zapped my creativity, and frankly I still think it may have given me brain damage. I really haven't been the same since I took it. But anyways, I did regain some of my mental abilities by early 1985. And I called them that. A fancy name in honor of that. And then in 2011 I told a therapist that for the first time, like I said.

Also, at the dollar store I got the plastic spider pictured below. I still have him in my attic (covered in dust because he's been there a long time, as you can see). I jokingly put him in a martini glass and called him Hallucigenia. I named him after a prehistoric insect life that they have discovered the fossils of. I called him Hallucigenia because he looks like a waking dream I had once or twice of a spider crawling on my wall. I've never had a hallucinations, I simply haven't. But did have a waking dream of him once or twice.

Also, speaking of prehistoric insect life. When I was still a boy we found the fossil of a Trilobite in a field once. I still have that too. I just find that fascinating. That the fossil of something that existed so long ago can still be with us. I think a lot of people feel that way too though.

Hallucigenia. by Jimbee68 posted Apr 5, 2025 at 9:24 PM

 

I think I already shared here how when I heard the Olivia Newton-John song Twist Of Fate it took on new meaning to me. But I don't know if I made it clear enough. When I heard the lyrics "Do we deserve a second chance? How did we fall into this circumstance?" from that song in the Summer of 1983, it seemed to relate to my wild and ridiculous time travel plan. And the reason why those two lines "do we deserve a second chance" and "how did we fall into this circumstance" were important was because it seemed so unlikely that my problem would ever be solved. What kind of life could I lead if I was too ugly to beg? If even the blind could see how ugly I was, like in that one store then. So "do we deserve a second chance" punctuated how unlikely it was I'd find a solution, ever really. And as I said "how did we fall into this circumstance" talks about how it all seemed to begin on the play ground in the 6th grade with my alleged best friend. It all seems so unlikely. But what explanation could there have been for it? It's not like there was some organization or behind the scenes planning involved in my life. It must have all just happened by accident, it seemed at that time. Then the song seems to talk about how it all happened that one morning in the Summer of 1983. What exactly happened that morning I don't recall now. I had already been thinking of that wild idea for a couple of years by then. But it was a turning point I know. And so the song seemed to go on, speaking of that morning, "Don't understand what's going on. Woke up this morning, all the hurt was gone. This is a new beginning, I'm back in the land of the living". I didn't think there was any odd or spectacular about the song at the time. I already had been hearing the song on the radio and seeing the video for several months by then. And I knew it was from her movie "Two of a Kind" with her and John Travolta. And I had already heard the "don't understand what's going on" lyrics by then too. So there was nothing odd about the timing in that either.

But it might have saved my life. And I think I know why. To make life of that court, and everyone else involved, a living hell. To make sure they are held responsible for what they did to me, that the world knows and that it never happens to anyone else ever again. And like I said, I will ramp up my efforts every month. First every month, and then every couple of months after that. And then those will always be my official claims and demands after that and for the rest of my life. It doesn't matter if my case is ever resolved. I'll never know that is anyways. And no one has yet even told me anything is being done about it. But I'll do this so that is never happens to anyone ever again. And that people don't get away with things like this, and feel so emboldened that they would think they could.

As I said, right now I am focusing on misconduct in my neighborhood. What was going on here while my psychiatrist, my other doctors, those police departments, and many others were focusing on me minding my own business with my car, and all kinds of lawlessness was happening here at the same time. Again, I think that police officer in my neighborhood will be of some help here. And we'll move on more to the Cerebral Palsy issue. Someone obviously knew I had Cerebral Palsy, very early on. I don't know what that is all about. Maybe I'm the only one who knows or remembers or will say. But I've seen lots of abuse and misconduct in my life and all around me. All my life. I just never said anything. But that's going to happen no more now.

 

Also, I wanted to add. I was telling one of my doctors, I think when my father was still alive, or shortly after. My shins were hurting a lot when I walked. He said that was a normal thing for some people. He even gave it a name. But I think that had something to do with my Type 2 Diabetes and neuropathy. I'm not a doctor of course. But that is what I think. And it was getting very painful, that pain in my shins. after a while. I don't think I have it now, or at least as much. I could never be walking to that drug store near my home in Detroit, like my psychiatrist, those police and first responders, my legal guardian and many others wanted me to. Do you know how much pain I'd be in if I walked that distance? And every day? And then I'd have to be hopping on buses and taking taxis to my doctors. In Novi and Plymouth and Troy. And everyone knew that I had Type 2 Diabetes and neuropathy by then. And yet they still wanted me to walk that way and live that way?

And they must have known that my neighbors were told something terrible about me that made them very angry. And that my trusted pharmacist accused me of a serious crime in 2011. In the middle of the day at that same drug store. The drug store where that the guard was also killed. And I was supposed to be walking at all hours of the day and night, and in the winter months too. To get my heart medicine, my high blood pressure medicine, my glaucoma drops and more.

Like I said, I'm having all of that investigated. But that court still is teasing and taunting me and claiming my case doesn't even exist. So I guess I'll have to persevere, for the rest of my life. And how will I know when it is over? Now I know. Legal documents can be fake, civil trials can be shows. And even if I tried to hire a lawyer (which I could never afford, unless my guardian paid for him) he'd just play along. And not play along for free, I may add. I'd still get charged of course.

Just persevere as I said.

 

And again, someone knew early on that I had Cerebral Palsy. From the comments I heard people sometimes say. Plus a lot of other things too. I can't explain it. Plus the symptoms I told my doctors and they sometimes saw. And even if they didn't seem to notice. They still must have. I don't know what that is all about.

 

I just can't understand, or basically believe I think is the word, how ridiculous all of my case is. The same thing happened in 2004 when I was led to believe I was going to be put away a long time on made up or trumped up charges. I know at one point I thought some of what people were saying was nonsensical and couldn't be true. Because, I thought, there surely is a logic even in our legal system. And ironically right at that time there was a story in the news, where they said yes, there is always a logic in the legal system. Things have to make sense, rulings have to be consistent with each other, nonsense is never allowed or believed.

But you know, I am not a lawyer and never said I was. But I got the Law Dictionary by Steven Gifis in 1995. I just find it a fascinating topic. I practically read the book from end to end. And he says there is the idea in our legal system called necessity. Or justification, some call it. It comes up in cases of self-defense sometimes. They tell women in my country for example, if a man is trying rape you, you can scratch his eyes with your keys. Even if you take out an eye or bliind him the court will understand. He left you with no choice. Or Gifis gives an interesting example. Sometimes firefighters must set a control burn, like in the forest fires in California sometimes. They may, for example, deliberately burn down one house to save ten. That one house of course is always unoccupied. And maybe one of the ten wasn't, or they didn't know for sure. If the owner later claims arson or tries to sue for the loss of his home the fire department can always plead necessity. In other words, what choice did they have? I'll have to look it up I guess, but it seems to me that a legal necessity is just at that one moment. It doesn't last 15-30 years. And plus, what is the legal necessity in my case? I know they won't tell me. But what could it be? I'm not even a lawbreaker.

And when is having someone sign fake legal documents, in other word perjury plain and simple, ever justified? When is fraud by having him enter fake contracts? I know the Supreme Court has said that prosecutors have to abide by their end of plea deals. Because some unscrupulous prosecutors in my country tell the defendant if he confesses, they'll give him a deal. But when he confesses that take that promise back and he is found guilty. Because confessions can't be taken back. But the SCOTUS said if they get it in writing, they have to abide by that deal. That goes under the general heading of due process I think. So why is perjury and fraud all right in my case? How could it ever be allowed? I know the Supreme Court under the originalists are cutting back on all our rights. They have said that the police can confiscate your car if they just suspect you are dealing drugs. Even if you are never found guilty or even accused of that. Just using probably cause. But they only allow that in few states. Now Michigan where I live usually doesn't allow stuff like that, if they can help it. So why is this the case here? Because where would it end? Especially if they could do it to someone like me. Child custody cases could be fake, while they lead the person along. Maybe even lead them long to think they almost got custody. Homes could be sold from under old people who are entering the early stages of demetia. Because of a law that goes back to colonial times, they're told.

 

But I was also going to say around 2004, or a couple of years after. By a couple of years after people who seemed to be reassuring me that I was not going to be put away on made up or trumped up charges, were slowly turning against me. Including our probate lawyer. He said the trust would never pay for a lawyer. Then I told him, I might get one of those horrible public defenders. The ones that conspire with the prosecution to railroad you. The ones who don't care even if you're innocent really, like they were saying in the news at the time. And he said, yep. You're right about that. And the story of Stephen Grant came in the news. Stephen Grant killed his wife Tara Lynn Grant in February 2007 in a fit of rage. Then he sawed up her body in his garage in front of his children. He should got just a couple of decades at most, for involutary manslaughter. But he got basically a life sentence. Due to his court-appointed attorney. Who like I said, actually did everything by the book. Interestingly enough, that case in the news did lead to reform in Michigan after that. Now public defenders, though not as good as paid lawyers I'm sure, at least try to do an honest job defending you in Michigan. And don't try to have you put away at any cost, even if you didn't do the act, supposedly like before.

 

Anyways, I did teleconference with that new clinic I guess I'll be dealing with from now on April 1st. She seemed to be more truthful with me. People are beginning to admit that man is my legal guardian. She also said my diagnosis was Schizoaffective Disorder and am bipolar. I told her I obviously have Schizotypal Personality Disorder, and I know I am not bipolar. I clearly never have been, and I've always known that. I actually just looked it up, Schizoaffective Disorder. It talks about disorganized thinking. I have, or at least have that, from time to time. I won't deny that. But it has a lot in it about mood and depression and mania in it. Things that obviously don't apply to me, I can tell. And like I said, my former psychiatrist clearly said Schizotypal Personality Disorder. I think this also smells of misdiagnosis. Or even withholding my true diagnosis from me. They told me in 1992 I was paranoid schizophrenic who wore plastic gloves. That was meant as a sick joke and clear insult. Paranoid schizophrenic was obviously from media at the time of stalkers and other people in the news. And plastic gloves was meant as a sick OCD joke, it seemed obvious at the time. I think they are also trying to say I'm prone to depression, from what I just read. In other words, that my two suicide attempts were caused by my mood and not by the abuse of mental health industry in Michigan.

Anyways, I am already going to have that as my new claim. That I am already being misdiagnosed with Schizoaffective Disorder. When I asked, she denied I had Schizotypal Personality Disorder at all. I am not a psychiatrist and never claimed I was. But I would agree my symptoms are probably closer to Schizotypal Personality Disorder in any event, like I said. You know, I am trying to work with people in my life, including the mental health workers. And they are already doing this. Begging the question why I am, or ever should have been, working with them to begin with. This is my new claim though, like I said.

I also asked her if I was listed as having any intellectual problems. She said none were listed for me. I don't know about that one. I realize now my problems are complex, and some of them are just psychological. I also realize now that that hospital in 1989, and many others, have been lying to me and deceving me when they say I look like I am very mentally impaired to others. But of course I just don't know what I look like to others. (Like I said, that it how that car thing got started. That, like those police asked me in 2001, maybe I was secretly mentally handicapped and just didn't know it. And maybe I was given that status by mistake. Whatever my status is, everyone in my life has always known it. I know that now as I said.)

But I am going to have to add this to my claim. That that new clinic is already beginning the harassment and silliness.

 

Also I thought I'd add. I just emailed my therapist. He's on vacation, but I thought this was important. What I said above it part of my new claim now. I also told him I don't want to threatened, or mentally abused, by mental health workers ever again. That seems like it would go without saying. And in Michigan, they do tell you as a mental patient it is your right. They are not allowed to abuse you threaten you for any reason ever. But it didn't seem to stop that hospital from doing it to me in 1989 for some reason. But I told him I want that to end and never happen again. Like I said, it's hard to believe. But some of it is still going on in my life to this day.

 

Also, I know when I post here I have a tendency to repeat myself. But there are a couple of reasons for that. I just want to make it clear how I am adding to what I already said. Also, I do usually add a little more even as I repeat what I've said.

And also, I've noticed more and more people online seem to be following my story. And I know when people get information online they sometimes do a quick Google search of one topic and then only read one post on a message board, or something like that. So I try to give people like that enough information in that one post. I'm also not repeating, as I said. I'm just summarizing what I already said so you remember and see what I am referring to.

 

Anyways, I just emailed my therapist again now. I was told April 1st my diagnosis is Schizoaffective Disorder with bipolar symptoms. It obviously is not. By bipolar they are implying something is wrong with my mood. There is nothing wrong with my mood, there never was. It has always been very level and very stable. Those two times I attempted suicide in 1989 and 2004 was because I was driven to that point. By the extreme emotional abuse and horrible threats of the mental health and medical workers in my life. There was no other reason. I actually handled myself very well. That is one of my strengths, if you've been following my story. Calm under extreme pressure. Anyways, I don't think that is even my diagnosis. I think the deception has already begun again with that. There is nothing wrong with my mood, and no one in my life believes I am bipolar. And I don't think I have Schizoaffective Disorder either. I think I have Schizotypal Personality Disorder. Which is actually what my psychiatrist did tell me a couple of years ago, when he finally admited my diagnosis is not glove-wearing paranoid schizophrenic.

Like I told my therapist, I'll give everyone in my life a month I think. To change that obviously false diagnosis. Or to at least tell me the truth, because I don't even think that is what it is. And then I will start filing complaints and exposing all the medical personnel in my life. For trying to blame me for what they did to me, for trying to blame me for them driving me to suicide twice. For continuing the deception, instead of ending like I was led to believe they would. And by just continuing their mental abuse of me. Like I told my therapist, I think I'll give everyone in my life one month to change. And then I'll start filing complaints and exposing them for what they are doing to me now.

 

As I said, that car thing was ridiculous. I did absolutely nothing wrong. And yet it still went on for 20 years. It still goes on really. Because last I heard, my legal guardian still complains that my car insurance costs him too much. Even though he knows what losing my car would do to me where I live.

It shows people's bias towards me, it shows how they view and treat me differently. And even when I pointed that out, they still continued to do it. It is none of anyone's business that I drive to begin with. Even if I was a bad driver. And I'm not even that. I'm a very good driver. And yet people in my life still thought it was their place to arbitrarily decide whether certain groups, or people who are different then them, can drive in Michigan. And as I said, I recently found out that by then the people in my life already knew I had Type 2 Diabetes and neuropathy, and they still did it. That is outrageous. They wanted me walking around in the cold in all hours of the day and night. They wanted me walking to that drug store where that guard was killed, till my feet ached, to get my medicines. That drug store which is closed now anyways. They wanted me to find transportation to my doctors, some of whom are in Plymouth, Novi, Westland, Troy and many other places. And it still goes on. Like I said, my guardian still is lamenting that my auto insurance is costing him way too much.

I want policy change. In my life and in Michigan. It's already illegal to harrass someone who is a good driver to begin with. But apparently that's not enough, because it didn't help me. As I said, it still went on for 20 years. I want policy change that says how they deal with police and first resonders who start harrassing people who drive who are doing nothing wrong. Neighbors and doctors too. And that how we deal with people who try to do that when they are the ones who have no business driving.

 

BTW about my driving record, if I haven't gone into it. I've been driving since 1989, and I've only been in two accidents in my life. And clearly neither were my fault. The first happened in 2013. Ironically when the arriving paramedic seemed to recognize me somehow, and then said I wasn't going thru the flashing yellow "carefully, carefully..." enough, even though I had the right of way. But all the other arriving police and paramedics told me they agreed with me. That accident was in no way my fault. And then a couple of years after that. Where again, near my home this time, some lady didn't even see me. She was in trying to get out of the middle turn lane. And the traffic was moving by then. And she ran right into me.

Besides, the car thing clearly had nothing to do with my driving. It seemed to start as a form of abuse. And it started around 2004 or 5 when there was nothing that happened involving my driving. I still wonder if my suicide attempt of 2004 (that basically the abuse of people in my life led to) didn't have something to do with it. Like I said, mentally ill people driving seems to be an issue, and a form of control even where I live. The other patients in that hospital in 2004 were surprised my family even allowed me to drive. Their families wouldn't allow them apparently.

 

Like I said, that lady I teleconferenced with April 1st told me that part of my diagnosis is Schizoaffective Disorder and I'm bipolar. That is obviously a misdiagnosis. They are trying to say there is something wrong with my mood. My mood is very stable and I have never been prone to depression ever once in my life. All the medical personnel in my life know that. They know that very well. Obviously we are already starting that nonsense again with misdiagnoses. Or maybe they are just acting silly and lying to me already again. Like I said, in 1992 I was told I was a paranoid schizophrenic who wore deadly plastic gloves. It was obviously a sick joke, based on news stories of stalkers and OCD like I said. Last year I believe it was, my psychiatrist told me I have Schizotypal Personality Disorder. Which actually is what I thought right along. Since 1991 at least.

So they are already playing that misdiagnosis game again. And clearly they are still trying to say that it is my fault they drove me to suicide. Just like my psychiatrist said in 1989 when he told me I attempted suicide because I was morally weak, and not because of what he did to me July 8, 1989, and leading up to July 8th. With all the abuse that I was receiving at that hospital, that he was obviously behind too. The only reason why attempted suicide those two times is because I thought there was no chance of any quality of life, or the unbearable pain would never end. And they are already trying to tell me at that new clinic that. That I attempted suicide twice because I am morally weak. No.

Anyways, as I told me therapist now. We all know it's a lie, we all know it's another way they are shirking responsibility and we know it shows they are return to their old tricks. I told him I want my diagnosis changed. I want the nonsense that I am bipolar and have Schizoaffective Disorder dropped and changed immediately. I told him I'll give everyone in my life one month to do that. And then in one month I start filing complaints and getting more people involved. As I just told him, I haven't chosen a date yet. But one month is in May obviously.

 

And, just to summarize what I have I learned up till now.

There's nothing I could tell anyone in my life, doctors etc., that they didn't already know. And in 1988 and 89, it seemed like the people in my life. The conspiracy (that never existed, of course I now know) didn't always understand me. Sometimes their information was incorrect, or they jumped to the wrong conclusions. But that was never true. I know in the past I thought withholding information would make some difference. That I could hide the truth from people in my life, if I just withheld information when I talked. But as I said, this was never true. Having Schizotypal Personality Disorder makes my thoughts very predictable. And people in my life just know me very well. And sometimes, for reasons I still haven't figured out, people seem to be able to read my thoughts. Right on the spot even. Which I still know is impossible. But I'm sure there is a logical explanation for that too. But there's no point is trying to hide things from the people in my life, doctors or anyone else. Withholding information from the medical professionals and others in my life would be pointless. They'd always know my state of mind and what I was thinking. Even at the moment sometimes it seems, like I said.

But this is not true of other people. Other people I meet, even people connected with my life in other ways. They might not know what I am thinking, what I am planning, even what kind of person I am. And that has been used by people in my life against me. To mislead them, to lie to them about me, to even falsely accuse me of things in the past perhaps. Other people in my life sometimes just don't know the truth about me. And so since I am a good person and have nothing to hide, it therefore would always be in my best interest to make sure everyone always knows the truth. The truth about me in other words. Especially when the people in my life tell me I shouldn't tell them, or that I am giving out too much information. I should never give people things like my credit card numbers or social security number of course. But it was always be in my best interest to inform other people about me, and let them know as much information as possible. I know that now. As many people, and as much information as possible. So I'm never harmed and my rights are never violated again.

As I said, there may be some day when I am under something like a judge's gag order or something like that. But my way of dealing with that is simple. First to challenge it as much as possible. And then to just tell more people. Whoever I'm allowed to tell under the gag order IOW. If the gag order says there are five people I can't tell, I'll just make sure I tell the ten people I can tell then. That's my plan now anyways.