My Mental History.

It's all very strange. My urine seems very cloudy now. And yet one of my doctor told me last time that I don't have an infection. I have a lot of strange physical symptoms. They may be nothing. But I know my doctors are obviously lying to me, because they are not even hiding it anymore.

But whatever happens, I want everyone held accountable for what they did to me. The permanent damage they did, and whatever ultimately happens to me. The damage done to me will be complicated by my Cerebral Palsy. And I want everyone responsible to make sure I always the care that I need, that I am always comfortable and that I always have full knowledge and full control over the situation. Even if that man is still my legal guardian. I guess I'll have no choice to continue with that. But it's going to be done very differently from now on. I'm still going to be made a full participant. And I want full medical consent. And I want something in place where he is carefully monitored and not allowed to dump me or get away with anything else.

And I want all the people responsible for trying to take my car away from me held accountable too. That lasted for over 20 years, they knew what doing that would do to me and they also knew that I had Type 2 Diabetes and neuropathy in my legs and feet by then. That's outrageous. I want them all held accountable. All them, everywhere, who took part in all of that. And I want them to make sure that I always have a car and am able to drive. To be independent and to take care of myself. I want them to be required legally to do that, to make sure I always have a car, if necessary. And I want changes put in place so that never happens to another physically or mentally handicapped person ever again.

 

I also wanted to say. I'm not sure about this next one. But I have heard about it from time to time. Like when I was inpatient in 2004 after that suicide attempt. The parents of mental patients often don't let them drive. And I think it's a way of exercising control. And creating a situation where they can always make the argument that they need to have their rights limited and their consent limited. Because if they had to, those guardians, family member and caregivers could always say. How could he take care of himself? And take care of himself without me? He doesn't even drive.

Like I said, it all started with me around 2004 after that suicide attempt. And right away I suspected it had more to do with limiting my rights and controlling the situation over me than my driving. There was nothing that happened then involving my driving record or driving ability. And I had been driving since 1989. And like I said, police took part in that, first responders, all my doctors, people I didn't even know. And all so suddenly for no reason. And my legal guardian still seems to want it.

And like I said, the most outrageous thing now is they all might get it if I lose my feet due to my diabetes.

 

Yeah, people knew of the horrible stuff that was going on in my neighborhood, and yet still focusing on me and my car. I am going to focus on that now and I am going to keep bringing it up and not drop it until something happens. That will be my new mission in life. Because that is outrageous. People went along with all of that. And it still goes on. And now someday I might need a car with hand pedals. Which my guardian will always be too busy to get me of course.

And we need better laws and policies in place to make sure that people with physical and mental handicaps aren't harassed just because the police, first responders and others think their group shouldn't be driving. Because I am a very good driver with an excellent record. And if it can happen to me it can happen to anyone.

 

Another thing about the car. There's something more to that like I said and I'm onto all of that. It's a clever way of exercising control over certain people, like the mentally ill. And it's a bargaining chip. Because like I said, in 2004 I heard many mentally ill people say their parents didn't even let them drive or have a car. Because then they could always say they needed help. They could never be truly independent, because they didn't even drive they could always say.

Yeah, I'm going to expose all of that. I'm going to keep trying to, until something happens. Push until something happens, like people in my area sometimes say. Because it's ridiculous. And it still goes on. Like I said, even now people are still trying to do it to me.

 

I now know it is important to my case to keep bringing those three things up. Suicide, the car thing and my Cerebral Palsy. The suicide thing I knew about for some time. I knew that doctor drove me to my July 16, 1989 suicide attempt with all the things he did, including that bizarre July 8th meeting with him. I just never bothered to tell anyone. I knew that I started seriously planning out suicide attempts July 6, 1988 with what that hospital did to me starting that day. I never did that before. Never, not even once. I just never told anyone. I think now actually is the first time I ever told anyone about that, July 6, 1988 and suicide. I knew about all those things, and how the people in my life, the mental health authority, all my doctors and many, many others, starting with my grade school and all the people there, etc. drove me to thoughts of suicide. Because I have always been a very rational person, not at all suicidal. They just made me feel there was no hope. No hope of any kind of life, no hope the unbearable pain would ever end. It was all their fault. But I will keep bringing those three things up everywhere I go and for the rest of my life. Because those three things were being used against me. And obviously none of them were my fault.

I don't even know what the Cerebral Palsy is all about. It just seems important for some reason. My doctors seem to be telling me that. I just know going back to when I was a little child people would say things that in hindsight seemed to show they knew I had Cerebral Palsy, whatever that means. And I've had weird symptoms like incomplete emptying of my bowel and bladder, at least since age 9. I started complaining about it then, and I was finally examined for that at age 13, for sure. Double vision since at least age 18. I started getting prism in my glasses in 1989. It helped cut down on the strain a little. But my eye doctor then started acting silly in 1989, when I complained no matter how much prism he put in my glasses, it just didn't help. And now I've been told me that my double vision was caused by a misalignment of my eyes. But when I close one eye I still have double vision. I've been told that's quite normal for that. Now is that even true? And I ate my apple by my teacher's desk in the 8th grade because it takes me a long time to eat, because I have difficulty swallowing. Everyone, including all my doctors, must have known early on that I obviously had Cerebral Palsy. How could they not? I don't know why that would be important. But it's all true, and they knew.

And I don't know why the car thing is important. There is a clear record of all that nonsense. How I had a very good driving record, but the police, first responders, all my doctors, my former psychiatrist and many others were still trying to take my car from me. Even though they knew it was unnecessary and what it would do to me. And they psychologically abuse me with all of that, probably to keep me in a constant state of panic. Now that one doctor did say that I should be embarrassed to even bring that subject up. Because he told me that I look like I am too mentally handicapped to be driving. I don't know what that means. But I'm glad to know they think I should hesitate to bring that subject up. That means I should bring it up more. And I do want it investigated what was going on in my neighborhood while they were all trying to do this. Horrible abuse of all kinds, people driving around with no tail lights and no insurance, people blowing yield signs and red lights, and so forth. They obviously knew about all that stuff, but they still focused on me. I'm going to make sure we look into all of that, whatever the outcome of my case. And we're going to see who got hurt because of that all. Because I'll bet at least one person got hurt when they did that, focus solely on me. And that is all outrageous.

 

Also, you know on the subject of lying or deceiving. It is never right, it is never justified. Even utilitarians agree with that. Utilitarians think that anything that does more harm than good couldn't be bad. Even things that people do with an evil intent, like Henry Ford, Fordism and the rise of the middle class, for example. But never lying and deceiving. Just in extreme situations, and just for that brief moment. That's called the defense of necessity. And utilitarians have one example, just one, where that might be justified. But no one should ever be signing fake forms and going to sham legal proceedings. Especially not for over 30 years. That's much worse, because we should always be able to trust the integrity of our legal system. If that is allowed in the US, where would it ever end? And how else could they use it? And how would you ever know? My case is not even extreme. It might be happening to you, the reader of this, right now. You just will never know. You might even die not knowing. But things, like your home, just suddenly get sold out from under you. The bank suddenly forecloses on your mortgage, because you forgot to file form 103 B. When all of those things are really because your secret legal guardian is just planning on moving you to a retirement home, or maybe a group home. And everyone in your life just plays along. Even your gardener and housekeeper.

And medical personnel should never harm. They should always be there only to help. And they should remain neutral, totally neutral, in every political and moral debate. Like I've said before, even in very conservative Sharia law countries, the medical staff agree with this, totally. So why does do patient rights abuses still go in this country? Like they did with me in 1988 and 9? Or 1992? Or like they did when they were trying to take away my car? For obvious ulterior motives having nothing to do with my driving or driving ability.

There's going to be a lot of change with all of that. If I have any say in all of it.

 

I just got a letter from that court. They sent me back the materials I sent them. Because that case doesn't exist, so we're still playing that game.

I'm not playing that game anymore not now or ever again. And if they and my guardian are trying to say I will just play along, I will not. I will keep fighting this till the day I die. And I have never been so outraged in all my life. I've been damage, endangered by my neighbors and others, hurt, psychologically abused, my life has been shortened by those bastards. And yet, they still seem to think I will just play along. No, no, no and no. I will not, I will not. And it's clear I have to do more things. Maybe get more law enforcement involved. Maybe the sheriff department. Maybe some other government entity or department. But they haven't heard the from me. They are going to be held responsible for what they did to me, and they are going to correct all their mistakes too.

I also think I'll include in my legal case an organization that gives free legal aid. They are totally ignoring me, for over a month now. I think I'll make them part of my legal case now too. For denying me access to our legal system, for being part of this outrage and rights abuse. If they don't respond in one week, by March 3rd. And then I will spend the rest of my limited life exposing them publicly, and making sure they face whatever legal and ethical penalties they have coming too. And I guess I'll keep repeating those three talking points too. That court drove to suicide, they did and they alone. By neglecting me, exposing me to danger and allowing people to psychologically abuse me. And this nonsense with my car that has been going on for over 20 years and is still going on shows all that is wrong with this situation, and I will make the one of the main issues here. That one doctor thought I would be embarrassed to bring up that subject because I look mentally handicapped to people. Not at all, and I'm glad he told me that. I'll be sure to bring up that subject from now on. And I do have Cerebral Palsy. That court damaged me with their misdiagnosis of that, that they knew all along. And they are neglecting me, and they agree with my guardian that I should be abused as an elderly person with that disease. And maybe fate will help me out in other ways here too. It has always in the past. Everytime in fact. And after all no one else is helping me here.

 

Google AI Overview

The United Nations Convention on the Rights of Persons with Disabilities (UNCRPD) is an international treaty that protects the rights of people with disabilities. It was adopted in 2006 and went into effect in 2008.

What does the UNCRPD do?

Ensures that people with disabilities have the same rights as everyone else

Sets minimum standards for the rights of people with disabilities
Outlines how countries can protect the rights of people with disabilities
Prohibits compulsory sterilization of people with disabilities
Guarantees the right of people with disabilities to adopt children

How is the UNCRPD implemented?

The EU has signed and ratified the UNCRPD, and all EU member states must protect the rights of people with disabilities

The European Commission coordinates the implementation of the UNCRPD at the EU level

Other resources: ABA Factsheet on the UNCRPD and Congressional Research Service Report on the UNCRPD.

What is the International disability rights Treaty?

The Convention on the Rights of Persons with Disabilities (“Disabilities Treaty”) embodies, at the international level, the ADA principles of non-discrimination, equality of opportunity, accessibility and inclusion.

But, the USA signed the UNCRPD in 2009 but failed to ratify it. And the Supreme Court has ruled that treaties ratified by the US are international commitments but don't have the force of law. I don't know what that means, but it sounds like the USA and that court are violating at least some of my rights as a handicapped person. They have been trying to take away my driver's license for over 20 years now. Even though there was all kinds of horrible things going on in my neighborhood that the authorities and that court were aware of. Child abuse, elder abuse and handicapped abuse. And that's just what I know of. They were aware of all that, and still focused on me and my car. When I am an excellent driver and was just minding my own business. Like I said, I want all that looked into. I also saw one of my neighbors, a nearby neighbor this time, with a missing tail light the other day. I never have missing tail lights. And if I do, I get it repaired right away. And how many of my neighbors even have auto insurance? Do any have arrest warrants for traffic violations? As I said, I want that all looked into. Because it sounds like they were violating my rights as a disabled person. And no that court and my guardian are denying me the status of and care for my Cerebral Palsy. And that court and my guardian think that is funny, they tell me. I think people knew early on I had Cerebral Palsy. I'm serious. Comments people made to me as a child even. I will write that all down if I can remember more and submit it with my case. And I am being denied equal access to the justice system as a disabled person. And when I try to gain access, they tease me and treat me like a child.

And also there is that matter of how medical care was used to harm me. That hospital psychologically tortured me for over a year 1988 to 9. And that led to me actively contemplate and plan out suicide for the first time ever in my life the night it all began, July 6, 1988. And I think they knew all about that too. In 1991 or 2, I got the old notes from my sessions with my psychiatrist from 1986-92. There were obviously written on the spot and I obviously was meant to just read them and supposed think that they were actual notes from our sessions. But he talked about suicide. I told him before 1992 that I was morally opposed to suicide. And he supposedly wrote down what I told him about suicide. What he wrote wasn't that. It was something I never even said. I think they knew they drove me contemplate and plan out suicide in 1988. And yet they still psychologically abused the threatened me for almost 40 years. They still do it even now last time that I checked. And they know exactly what they are doing.

That last one brings up the issue of the rights of people in the world receiving medical care. Medical staff should always be there to help never to hurt. And they should remain neutral in every political, moral and legal issue. Even in very conservative Sharia law countries they agree with that, like I've said before. The US signed the International Covenant on Economic, Social and Cultural Rights (ICESCR), which includes the right to physical and mental health care as a fundamental human right. The US signed the ICESCR in 1977 but never ratified it. And as I said, a lot of people took part in my abuse as a mental patient in Michigan. And now I am permanently damaged and will need special care for the rest of my life after what that court and my guardian did to me.

 

I don't know. There might be something weird going on with my feet and legs now. And my right thumb clearly has nerve damage in it. And it all might be getting worse. I can still drive with no problems and walk around too. But I don't know what the future holds. The neuropathy and nerve damage is supposedly just in my feet. And now the neuropathy no longer exists, I'm told.

It's clear who is responsible for all of this. That court. My guardian. Those police in those cities, including that blonde-haired one who thought I'd be so much happier without a car. That paramedic in that other city. My neighbors. Those businesses. That hospital. Etc., etc. They are responsible, they damaged me for life, they made it certain I will need special care in my old age with my Cerebral Palsy. And surely everyone knew of all of that early on. How could they not? And some of the things people said when I was a child in hindsight show they knew I had Cerebral Palsy. It did. And I think they should all make amends I think. By making sure I always have a car to drive. By making sure I always have a nice house with wide spaces for me and my cats, and the wheelchair I might be using some day. That they make sure I am always happy and comfortable.

And to repeat, while they were doing things like trying to take my car away from me there was all kinds of abuse going on right where I live. Child abuse, elder abuse and handicapped abuse. Children screaming in the middle of the day, an elderly woman with dementia being abused, a very young child with a mental disability I could clearly hear about 20 years ago, in horrible distress. And one of the people trying to take my license away from me, I suspect, was responsible for some of this. And how did the authorities, how did that court, not know about all of this? But still, while all of this was going on here in the city where I live, they were trying to take away my driver's license. Just to make my neighbors feel better. Well that is part of my case now. And I think they should make sure I always have those things above.

Am I wrong?

 

As I tell people, starting February 8, 1992 my hands became immovably dry. I had to deal with it some way. Finally I saw a dermatologist in a nearby city, Dr. C. He agreed with me it wasn't my fault and he told me he knew what it was. He said it had something to do with my dermatitis. And he was giving me an ointment to put on every night before bed. (Some guy online said he had that problem in the army. So there is such a medical problem. It obviously wasn't caused by plastic gloves that could lead to infection and death, like people told me then.) Then I was involuntarily hospitalized and forcibly medicated in that other hospital. And all treatment for my hands stopped. Then they finally took the only means I had of keeping my hands movable in the hospital, a small water bottle. When I went to the front desk to explain I needed it or I would be unable to move my hands, and I also said you know I am seeing a dermatologist for this, they said they didn't even know what I was talking about, and they never heard of any dermatologist. Then finally they allowed to have a small bottle of hospital hand lotion. And if I didn't have that hand lotion my hands would have been frozen shut there.

Then when I was released from the hospital there was no more treatment for my hands then either. The problem finally went away on it own November 3, 1992. But I had to do something to keep my hands moving. So I would wet them with water, which my mother said she'd allow. But just that and hand lotion. But for years after that my hands were still very uncomfortable and very dry-feeling. Finally my mother told my psychiatrist that I sometimes still wet my hands, like in restaurants. Even though I told her not to tell him that. And my doctor lamented, yes. They saw me wetting my hands in the day program at that hospital after my involuntary hospitalization in 1992. And he could have done something about it then. And, he could raise my medicine now. But he decided he wouldn't this time.

You know, he was a medical doctor. He must have known what was wrong with my hands. Plus he had this persona going where he was an unethical medical doctor too who didn't believe in medicines. One time when my father told him he was taking a lot of heart medicines, he got very angry and said he wanted my father off all of his heart medicines. Because he didn't believe in medicines. I got upset about that. But he never actually did that.

Denial of medical care. It wasn't a matter of life and death. But my hands were immovable if I didn't do something. Are they allowed to do that?

 

My Sharps Mop. by Jimbee68 posted Feb 27, 2025 at 12:11 PM

A glass I had on my china cabinet just fell on the floor and broke. But I swept it all up right away. You know, there's a trick getting every last glass shard after a glass breaks. I've been doing it all my life. First you carefully sweep. More carefully than you normally would for something on the floor. Sweep it several times at least. And then a couple of months ago I put aside this mop with the words "for sharps" on it for just such an emergency. Because I noticed a long time ago that sometimes it takes something like a moist mop to get all the shards. (I did with Murphy's Oil Soap. And I quickly did the other nearby wooden floors. They were easy to clean because I just cleaned them recently.)

Yeah with the neuropathy in my feet I have to be careful. A doctor told me to examine my feet for cuts every day, because I am not as sensitive to pain. And wear socks even to bed. (I always wear slippers around the house. I always have, I never liked walking in bare feet anywhere. So I should be safe IAE.) But my doctors now tell me these problems don't even exist. I don't have neuropathy, I don't have diabetes, I don't have Cerebral Palsy and my A1C is 5.4. I also noticed my left thumb is tingling too. I might have just noticed it, but there is something very wrong. In my feet and hands. Nothing to affect my driving or functioning yet. But I don't know what the future holds.

I'll need special care some day with my Cerebral Palsy. And I may need a car someday for a handicapped person. One with hand pedals and a steering wheel spinner. But I don't think the trust was even meant to pay for that kind of stuff. And my legal guardian certainly never would. I probably shouldn't say this. But you know that would be another good way to limit the rights of your handicapped relative or child. Let some court of law secretly damage him with psychiatric or other drugs. And then say, well he has to have more of his freedoms taken away. He's more disabled now because of the damage done to him. By a court, which by law in the US can never be sued or prosecuted. (I'm not saying anyone is doing that to me. But I just find that possibility ironic.)

And I think that now there is a real chance I could finally lose my driving ability this way with what I just said, that all the people who have been trying to take away my car for over 20 years should make sure that doesn't happen. My doctors, that psychiatrist, the police who did it and the first responders too. And all the other many people who took part. But of course there is no legal way to make them do that I guess.

 

It was obvious that I had Cerebral Palsy early on. And people made comments when I was a child that showed they may have known. I was complaining of frequent urination since at least age 9. And one upperclassman boy in grade school told me that his nickname for me was Skippy peanut butter because I skipped when I ran. I told him I had no idea what he was talking about. But told me, oh but it's true. Then one time he got very angry almost like he was about to beat me up, and told me to stop. I have been complaining about double vision since at least age 18. My doctors tell me my eyes are slightly misaligned. Which is partly true. But in 1989 I started adding more and more prism to my lenses, and it still didn't go away. Then my eye doctor at the time started acting silly about it. Then around 1993 I went to a kind alternative medicine doctor. He told me that my double vision was caused by an imperfection in the aqueous humor of my eye. I told my eye doctor and they said that was ridiculous. The aqueous humor is a clear liquid. You see right thru it. But then years later they said, no. That actually makes a lot of sense.

Then my best friend told me I was ugly during recess in my 6th grade. And after that it seemed everyone had to tell me I was ugly. People could tell I was ugly on the phone. I went to my other friend's house for Halloween 1980 and 81. And both times the same man at the same house went out of his way to tell me I still looked ugly with my mask on. He never met me before. And another time I was a local mall. A man there had irises that were an aquamarine color and he was being led around by this young woman. Then when he turned in my direction he was obviously looking at me. And he got a look of horror on his face, like my ugliness had somehow restored his vision. Another time my parents and I were involved in a car accident at a nearby intersection. We were hit hard by another car, but no one was injured. When the ambulance arrived he went from person to person to make sure they were all right. I didn't want him to see me because I was very self-conscious about the way I looked. So I was cowering in the back seat, and he could see that. But he insisted. And when he saw me for the first time he looked, paused and then took a little extra look, like people often did back then when they saw me for the first time. This all led me to believe by the 8th grade that I was too ugly to even beg, naturally.

Then as I left that hospital in 1989 they told me I would face a fate worse that a lifetime of unbearable akathisia in a mental hospital. Then in 1992 they told me at that same hospital I would be falsey accused of something some day. (I told my therapist this in 2011. And he told me I just misunderstood what worker there meant.) And then in 1994 at a local business again I was falsely accused of something. I thought by then if that happened I could just prove my innocence. But he said, no. I said I wasn't even here yesterday. But he said, yes you were. There were numerous witnesses and it couldn't have possibly been anyone but you. Then around 1997 people started telling me I'd be arrested, possibly soon. Possibly because I looked mentally ill to people and they thought they needed a reason to arrest me. This all led to my suicide attempt in April, 2004. But instead of helping me, at the hospital I went to they just treated me with suspicion and told me they didn't believe me. Putting me in that weird group therapy session where we were all supposed to tell them our deepest, darkest secret. The car was also part of the new wave of threats that began around 2004. I tried tell people, if I lost my car I'd lose everything. I'd have no way to go to my doctors, no way to shop or run errands. And I was a very good driver with good insurance. There was no reason to take away my car, especially just out of the blue. And the way that all started it was clear it was just to harass me and make my life difficult. But when I begged and pleaded, people just continued to do it and tease me, and act silly too. After my father died, I told my psychiatrist now I really need a car. What would I do without one now. Well he told me, your legal guardian can just be your chauffeur. Even though everyone knows I can't rely on my legal guardian even in an emergency.

Anyway, while all of this was going on, there were things going on in my neighborhood. People driving around with no tail lights and no headlights. People driving thru yield signs and red lights like they weren't even there. That first one happening just a couple of days ago. Horrible abuse of children, the elderly and the handicapped. And the authorities and that court were aware of all this. How could they not be? Yet they still chose to focus on me and my car when I was doing nothing wrong and just minding my own business. And the trust may not pay for a new car with hand pedals, if I ever need it. And my legal guardian would never want to buy me one anyways. And there is a real chance now that after all these years all these people will be successful. I will lose my ability to drive that way. That is why I think they are obligated to makes sure I always have a car. And this will be my new case. There must be some legal argument I can make here. Misconduct in office of some kind. Plus I might be in danger where I live. Some of my neighbor are very angry at me, obviously because someone told them something horrible and untrue about me. My friend even told me not to even mail a letter in my neighborhood.

 

Also, there seems to be some change in my feet in the past couple of weeks. Not enough to affect my functioning so far. But when I had neuropathy and diabetes with the hair loss on my legs all those years back, I had no idea anything was even out the ordinary. And my doctors were telling me my A1C was even better than normal. So I don't know what the future holds. I may lose a foot or have serious problems even in a year from now. I just don't know. I'm not a doctor. And what will happen then? I'll need a car with hand pedals right away. But my legal guardian will never agree to that. He not even talking to me now and he's angry at me too. Frankly at that point he might just say I have no use of my feet and I have Cerebral Palsy. I am really disabled now. He has no choice but to put me away somewhere. And once there I'll lose all my independence and all of my medical consent.

All of this could have been avoided long ago. And we've reached another point where tragedy can be avoided if something is done now.

 

Anyways, the thing with the car is still going on. My legal guardian is still lamenting sometimes that auto insurance costs too much for me. Even though he lives in a rich suburb and my safety might be in danger here now. And my therapist said that lots of people in Detroit live without cars. He told me several years ago the matter was totally resolved. And now he suddenly says that. Just like people have been doing for over 20 years now. Because it's a form of abuse. That's all it ever was. I saw that right from the start. It started in way to show me that is what it was, a deliberate form of abuse. I don't know why everyone took part in it, but it is a form of abuse and always was. It serves no other purpose. And it is so ridiculous and wrong. And plus, I'd lose everything if I lost my ability to drive.

But I'm glad that one doctor thought I'd be embarassed to talk about the subject. Because I look very mentally handicapped to people, he seemed to say. Embarassed to bring it up? Not at all. I am going to bring in up often now, in every situation I find myself in and for the rest of my life. Why I need a car, why it is important for my health, safety and independence. And how people destroyed my peace of mind with it for over 20 years, and are still trying to.

 

[Accidental duplicate post.]

 

Also on my way to a doctor today I was in a nearby city. It was the middle of the afternoon, and again someone drove right thru a red light like it wasn't even there. They started doing that where I live late at night, then in the evening. And now they do it in broad daylight. And I've never done that. I'm the kind of person who would never steal a grape from the grocery store. And yet for years the authorities focused on me and made my life a living hell, instead of focusing on things like that. Am I wrong?

 

Just to be clear, there were a lot of threats in my life. I don't know what their purpose was. They seemed to start in 1989 when the hospital told me that some day I would face a fate worse than a lifetime of unbearable akathisia. They might have just been to keep me in a state of panic. Like I said, I don't know. But the threat of taking away my car was definitely just another one of these threats. That's all it ever was, and I knew that from the start. It started around 2004 with that new wave of threats that started then. It's a clever threat too, because it almost sounds harmless. But I'd lose everything if I lost my car. And it is so unfair too. I am a good driver, a law-abiding driver. It's really many of my neighbors who probably have no business driving. And it's still going on as far as I know. My legal guardian is still lamenting that my insurance costs him too much. And my therapist quipped recently that a lot of people in Detroit don't have cars. In other words, people in my life are still thinking about it. But I'd lose everything. And my life is different. I'm handicapped, I have permanent damage to my body now and I fear for my safety now that many of my neighbors are angry with me.

I'm a little confused by a couple of things too. That one doctor seemed to say I looked too intellectually handicapped to be driving. I don't know how I appear to other people. But 35 years ago when I started driving, I just wasn't sure about my intellectual and legal status. That hospital told me that I was secretly mentally handicapped. And like I said, people told me all my life that I was a genius. I wasn't sure if mentally handicapped people in Michigan can drive. They can, until they prove otherwise. And everyone knew about my history and intellectual status, including the Michigan Secretary of State, which gives licenses. Also, another weird thing is that for a while in Detroit when police saw me, they'd quick duck down another street. Probably because they knew I was aware they thought I was too handicapped to be driving and that seeing them would make me nervous. It makes me a little nervous seeing the police. But like I told my therapist recently, it would never affect my driving. I don't know who told them that.

And now there's a real chance that I could lose my ability to drive due to the permanent damage done to me. Like I said, I think the people who were trying to take away my car for 20 years, and making my life a living hell, should make sure I always have a car. But I don't know if that will happen.

 

I was coming home last night. And I saw a car standing nearby with a missing headlight. So this is my new demand of what I want investigated. And I want it investigated regardless of outcome of my case because this is all outrageous. Why were all these things, some of them horrible, happening in my neighborhood while the authorities were focusing on me minding my own business, doing absolutely nothing wrong? And how could they not be aware of all these things? And yet they thought it was better to focus on me? Like I said, it was just another form of abuse. It lasted over 20 years. People in my life would bring it up, then tell me they had dropped it for good, then suddenly bring it up again, sometimes years later. I'd lose everything if I lost my car. And really, like I think I already told someone, if they thought there was a good reason why I shouldn't be driving, why did they prolong this nonsense for over 20 years? And it is still going on. My legal guardian still laments that my auto insurance is costing him too much. People still hint they are keeping this one on the back burner. But it is more important now than ever before that I always have a car. So this will always be central to my case and I will keep bringing it up, just so people know what they put me thru. And one of my demands now is that my guardian is required to make sure I always have a car. Or face some consequences if he doesn't. To resolve this matter for once and for all.

And I want everyone who took part in this held accountable, in whatever way possible. I don't care if they had no idea it was a form of abuse. It was obviously wrong and it was obviously unnecessary. And for those reasons alone they shouldn't have been taking part in it. So I want them held accountable so this never happens to anyone ever again. Especially not to a handicapped person like me who is just minding his own business trying to live his life, while all kinds of riffraff going on in the same neighborhood in plain view of the authorities.

 

And the car thing and the threat of prison for made up or trumped up charges were both threats and new forms of abuse. I noticed that right away. The way they were both presented to me right from the start made that clear. But like I said, unlike the threat of a lifetime of unbearable akathisia pain, they were new and started around the early 2000s. I wasn't sure and even a little concerned why someone thought new threats were necessary in my life, and why someone thought they were necessary to begin with. I still haven't figured that one out. The threats were all quite serious. And they made me contemplate suicide until 1996, and again until 2011. It's a good thing I never did hurt myself because of them.

But the car thing, like the rest, can be handled as something having to do with misconduct in office and inappropriate behavior in general. Why would someone, anyone, go along with that to begin with? I am a very good driver with an excellent record. And I was trying to explain to people after the car thing began that I couldn't function without a car. I'd lose everything that way. But instead of listen to me people just started teasing me and treating me like a child, like I said. I know treating people, including handicapped people like me, unequally and with bias is defined by how you treat people who are similarly situated. Can you take away someone's license for pouring coffee into their spillproof mug the third time? Or take away their license just to make their neighbors feel better? I guess you could. In Michigan you can be arrested for dancing to The Star-Spangled Banner. But that doesn't really ever happen.

I think people who took part in this in any way should be held accountable, no matter how much they knew about why they were doing it. Because I just don't think that is an excuse. And that way we can make sure this never happens to someone like me ever again.

 

Plus you know, I really never objected to or complained about the threats. I actually think this is the first time in my life I've ever done that. But I was kind of hoping right from the start that they could, if not stop the threats, at least tone them down a little. Or do them less of make them less serious. But instead the threats got worse, and more serious and more violent. And then after I attempted suicide in April 2004, which as I've said was caused by a new set of threats that began around 1997. Which like I said was to find a way to put me in prison because I was mentally ill and mentally ill people belonged in prison. But then when I got to the psychiatric ward of that hospital in April 2004, instead of reassuring me, which I still remember I kind of hoped they would, they instead started that new line of threats. Prison for made up/trumped up charges. And that started in the psychiatric ward just days after I attempted suicide fearing that. And the staff at that hospital knew what they were doing to me and the affect it was having on me. They all had degrees in psychology, so how could they not? And like I've said, even if they weren't going to reassure me, they could have at least waited until I got home before they started all of that again. And then just 3-5 years ago that lady I was talking about was still doing it. And not only doing it but doing it with great anger and defiance to show they were not over with the threats and mental abuse. Far from it, in fact.

Like I said all I ever wanted, and they always knew this too, was for them to at least tone down the threats and abuse a little. But instead, they do things like I just described.