My Mental History.

Another thing too about these threats, to take away my car and put me away on made up or trumped up charges, it was still going on recently, both of them. A couple years ago. Maybe even last year (I'm not sure). I'm not saying who started these threats or if it was well-organized. They might have been staged by the mental health professionals in my life. There was stuff happened even when I was a kid, like in restaurants and stores, that seemed even at the time like they were staged. I was thinking recently, I don't if they were actors or got paid. But that's my working theory. But as far as I know it is still going on. No one has told me it has stopped. And even if they did, that wouldn't mean anything. The car thing started in the early 2000s, around or by 2004 or 5 I guess. And I never knew when that was over. People like my doctor told me it was over and not to worry about it anymore, he'd never bring it up again. Then he'd bring it up a couple weeks later. Or sometimes a couple years. I never knew. And they were all serious threats. Of harm, of hardship, of pain. Including the car one. All unnecessary and unfair too. And like I said, I don't know when they'll end. No one has told me they're over. And even if they did, how could I believe them?

 

This is the petition that I will not continue to submit. I don't know who I can submit it to. Everyone is still ignoring me, playing along with the deception and pretending everything is just fine:

So, just to repeat my case against [that court]. They are endangering my safety and life. They have already done permanent damage to me by their action or inaction. The nerves in my feet are permanently damaged. And my doctors probably aren't even telling me what else is wrong. Because of [that court], my doctors have been lying to me for at least 20 years. Actually and this is all I know, my doctors were lying to me as early as 1984, in another situation that may have led to permanent brain damage for me. [That court] is harming me with their action or inaction, and they may be slipping something into my other medicine. And I'm not being irrational when I say that. In the past when I thought [that court] was doing something to harm me, I was always right. Even though sometimes I didn't find out till many years later. They are callous and indifferent to me. And when I tell them I am being harmed and am in danger, their either ignore me or tell me they think it's funny.

And they view and treat me differently. I obviously have less value in the eyes too. Because they wouldn't damage someone else like this. Even sex offenders have the right not to be forced to take harmful medical treatments. I am obviously not a sex offender because I am a good person and never did a sex crime. But I seem to have less value and worth and less of a social status Wayne County Court than even a sex offender. And they continue to have a man who looks down on me and thinks my being abused as an old man with Cerebral Palsy is funny my legal guardian. They have failed to protect me in the past and prevent harm to me. And I have been driven to thoughts of suicide by [that court] allowing people to abuse me in the past. Not because I am suicidal, but because the abuse led me to believe the unbearable pain would never end and there was no chance of any quality of life. And now [that court] claims they are protecting me from myself by taking away rights and medical consent for that, being suicidal, even though they are the ones who caused it. I am being denied access to the justice system. Even when I beg people for legal aid and help claiming I am being harmed and neglected, they have to play along with the deception. Because [that court] thinks they are doing the right thing and serving some greater or more important purpose by harming me this way. And [that court] claims I have been a danger to myself for over 30 years. Which even if legally possible to say, is ridiculous.

[That court] continues to ignore and harm me. And damage is being done even now that could be avoided. [That court] just doesn't care. And [that court] and my legal guardian tell me too I should just play along with the deception. I will not.

[My name and today's date.]

 

I might as well say, people hurting me for by telling me I am physically unattractive has been going on till recent times too. When I was in at that hospital in April, 2004 I was being treated for Acetaminophen overdose. And I was assigned a room finally. And one of the female nurses or medical workers assigned my case was already waiting for me in my room. And when she heard I attempted suicide she was upset and worried. And she asked why would I want to die. And then she looked at me, paused, and said "handsome guy like you..." That was very nice of her of course. But that was a sick joke from when people started calling me ugly around 1980. They could see how much it upset me then, so they stopped. But then they started doing it in ways, saying someone was ugly, that supposedly weren't meant for me. Or they said I was attractive, in a way that was obviously insincere or showed that they were thinking the exact opposite. We used to get our car repaired and get gas at this gas station on near my home. And the wife of the owner, who obviously had to say something (everyone who saw how ugly I was then had to say something, even if it hurt me or they didn't want to), once told my mother that I was a "...pretty...boy..." obviously meaning the exact opposite. This is actually typical of how people psychologically abused me. Using otherwise harmless things like the numbers, gestures and things that only have meaning to me, so they could always then claim that I was putting meaning where there was none.

But I don't know about that female nurse or medical worker at that hospital though. It could be that I actually look so hideously ugly that people sometimes just react that way. I have no way of knowing how I look, so I'll never know.

 

I'll try. I think it may be a matter of appropriate social context. You went onto a British gaming site--not ordinarily an arena for political discussion, or serious discussion of anything except gaming. You raised a point for serious discussion in a setting where the moderator and his audience might not have wanted that. Politics, particularly in this era, is a sensitive issue. My mamma, who was wise and all-knowing, always told me not to talk about politics and religion in public settings unless I know in advance that people will agree with my point of view. I have friends who pride themselves in not following politics, and they make fun of me because I do. They find it an uncomfortable subject and would rather talk about the weather, sports, technology--anything but that. So when somebody like you shows up on a gaming site, the moderator may want to get rid of you quickly. And then there may be a bias on a British gaming site against a Yank telling them how to run any aspect of their country.

That's just my hunch. Personally, I think it's great that you watch debates in the British Parliament. Also, that you share your thoughtful (though sometimes quirky) views on a wide range of topics. These forums are certainly appropriate for that. It's what they're designed to be. So it's a matter of judgement about sizing up your intended audience and tailoring your comments accordingly. But if you raise the question here of whether or not the House of Lords should be replaced with a more democratic lifetime peerage, expect crickets. I'm sure you realize that the House of Lords doesn't do much anymore,

 

Thank you Tishomingo for your reply.

And, I think I've made it clear what part of my argument will be regarding my car and driving. I can clearly see, many of my neighbors are driving around with dents and missing tail lights. When I get a dent in my car, I always get it repaired that week. I'm a good driver with an excellent record. But my neighbors wanted my car taken away because it would make them feel better? No, you shouldn't be driving around with dents and missing tail lights, and no license and no insurance and a horrible record. But then think the authorities will support you with that. You want your neighbors car taken away just to make you feel better while you do that? Driving around with no license, a suspended license or no insurance is already illegal in Michigan. But to me, doing that too just shows a special contempt for that law. And that is when the driving laws should be enforced. When someone tries to do something like that. Harrass their neighbor that way who has a mental illness or handicap but who is just minding his business, and is a good driver.

Like I said, I can see many of my neighbors have dents and missing tail lights. The lady next door told my father and I she didn't even bother to renew her driver's license and insurance because she could afford it. And in the city where I live, people just drive thru the red light even when they have completely stopped. Many times just because they are impatient. I started noticing that a couple years ago. And sometimes they do it in broad daylight. And while all that was going on, the authorities were listening to and supporting my neighbors with that? Or that paramedic on September 11, 2013 in that nearby city. That old man didn't even see me, and I clearly had the right of way. He probably had no business driving. But the arriving paramedic was more concerned that I drove thru the flashing yellow "carefully, carefully". No. Not anymore will they do that, and not if I can help it.

 

And just to review the legan, and moral, issues brought up in my life, if you have been following:

Medical workers should never harm a patient for any reason. They should be neutral in situation, legal and moral. Yes, they should do things like report suspected abuse and things like that. But they should be there to help. You don't go them, for example, to be interrogated or investigated. And they certainly should never deliberately harm a patient.

We should always be able to trust the integrity of our legal system. I guess, in an extreme case, like if a man walks into court and tells the judge at gunpoint he wants custody of his kid. The judge might hold up a paper and say, I just gave you custody. Right here. But then the judge or bailiff should go to his holding cell once he has been disarmed and gently break it to him that never happened. And frankly, I am beginning to even rethink that example. But a person should never be forced to attend a sham trial or sign fake documents and fake sworn affidavits. Not for a moment, not even once. Let alone for over 30 years like I have been.

And vulnerable groups like the handicapped should always be given special protection. And never should they be hurt, or even treated differently, because they are handicapped. Like when that hospital told me in 1989 that they didn't like me because they thought I was mentally handicapped, and they don't like those kinds of people. It doesn't matter why they said that. That is never an appropriate thing for anyone to say, let alone someone in the medical profession.

As I said this, along with those other three things (my car, that court and others alone drove me to suicide and my Cerebral Palsy status) are now my legal argument to that court. But no one will take it because I am being denied access to the legal system. And even if I tried to get help, even if I hired my own lawyer. He would just have to play along. And this nonsense has been going on for at least 30 years for me, like I said.

 

You're welcome. And thank you for sharing your life as well as your ideas with us. I've come to know you enough thru your posts to like you and worry about you.

How well do you know your neighbors? I'm just wondering how they would react if you went over to one you haven't met or gotten to know well, if there is such a person, smile, and just said something like: "Hi, I'm...How are you doing". You might comment on the weather, their lawn, or something you admire about their house. I wouldn't bring up the car or other complaints. Focus on them. If they want to engage in further conversation, read the sports page of your local newspaper ahead of time and talk about something from it, or remember the acronym "HELP". "H" for Hobbies or interests. "E" for entertainment (movies, TV shows, etc. "L" for literature., if you've read any good books. ("P" would be for Politics, but that's dangerous, so I'd avoid it. Just give them "HEL"). Then just say something like: "Great meeting you. I have to run, but I hope to see you again. Take care!" Then the next time you meet them, say "Hi" again. You might think they don't like you and think you're a fool, but that's their problem. This might seem inane, but hey, what do you have to lose? I doubt they'd come after you with torches and pitchforks.

 

Thank you again Tishomingo. But I haven't had much to do with the people in my neighborhood since I was a kid. And plus my neighbors are all very angry with me now, because someone told them something terrible about me that wasn't true.

But I was going to say, the handicapped in my country, mental, intellectual and physical, have made a lot of progress. But at that hospital the people there seemed to be ex cons, criminals, old people and one nurse there was very conservative and kind of nutty, politically. I have nothing against old people, etc.. Or frankly ex cons, if they obey the law. But I was led to believe that is why they didn't like me. Because they were of those groups.

 

"When you go to the delicatessen store,
Don't buy the liverwurst
Don't buy the liverwurst
Don't buy the liverwurst
I repeat what I just said before,
Don't buy the liverwurst
Don't buy the liverwurst."

I'm not trying to be silly with that rhyme above. But I learned it in the 6th grade and I thought of it recently for a simple reason. Kind of a joke I thought to myself.

If you go the delicatessen store and buy the liverwurst, and it makes you sick. Then the delicatessen store owner buys some fresh liverwurst, and it makes you sick again. Then he buys a different brand, and ditto. Then you go to a store across town, and the liverwurst makes you sick. Soon you start going to stores in other cities and other countries. And finally you try some vegan liverwurst, and it still makes you sick. I think it must be the liverwurst.

No one will tell me anything. And someone will eventually tell me that my conclusions are wrong. All my problems weren't centered in that one city. That was coincidence. My driving has nothing to do with it. Despite the fact all my problems in life seem to have begun after the 8th grade, that has nothing to do with it. And to repeat, I think the fact I was kept in a constant state of desperation that led to two suicide attempt is very important. They will deny it. And soon I will reach a stage in my life where people will start showing me convincing evidence, of the lies they tell me. And misleading me in other ways. Many of the people in my life do have degrees in psychology, so they'd know how.

Bullcrap. I think it's the liverwurst. And if the liverwurst is endangering my life with the possibility of food poisoning and death, there's a very important reason why someone would have to prove to me it's not the liverwurst.

Just saying.

 

Yeah, and I had a best friend in grade school. We seemed to share all the same interests. I liked playing games of fantasy and far off lands, stories that went nowhere it seemed. He and I had this imaginary character. The Ghost of Smoshe. And I liked variations on a theme even then. I started inventing new lands, for us to go to maybe. And one time he was in my bedroom, and I said, what about Mad Magazine Land, after the magazine of course. And his face fell, and I could tell that was just too much for him. And basically that was the turning point. He never wanted to have anything do with me ever again. Right after I said Mad Magazine Land in my bedroom. I clearly remember, I'm serious. Then he started avoiding me. Then he got obnoxious, and hurt me in a number ways really. With the things he said, and other things too. As I said, he was started the ugliness thing, with that incident during recess in the 6th grade. He started that all, really.

Then he became the boyfriend of that girl I whittled my finger and said "shame, shame, shame" too. She never forgave me for saying that. Never. And they started talking about me in homeroom. Always in front of me where I could clearly hear and see. They talked about how selfish I was, how immature, and I think maybe my eating habits, or something like that. I often overheard her say, she thought I was a good person. But she was wrong. People told me that more than once in that school.

He did say I was becoming verbally abusive with him. And I might have swatted him once or twice, maybe hard once. That happened when we got our CB radio in our car. I told him, not don't fool around on channel 9. That is the emergency band. Like 911. And if you fooled around on it, we would get in trouble for it. I told him that several times. (I remember he found it funny when I repeated myself that way with emphasis.) So, when he and I were alone in the car, he picked up the microphone to the CB and said "Hey Buddy! This is a big 10-4! Yuck! Yuck! Yuck!" with a big grin on his face. So I swatted him hard, with the back of my open hand. And he started complaining to the adults I was getting abusive to him around then too, like I said.

 

And I think I will make it part of my medical claim, against that school, which I attended in the 70s and 80s. I had a problem with frequent urination. They all knew, because the teachers brought it to my mother's attention. And that very cruel gym teacher wouldn't let me use the bathroom. Even though it was accessible to all the other students. Because I saw them going in and out. And I know our principal Sr. F must have told that gym teacher. Because my mother assured me she talked to her about it. And then the next day, when I asked that gym teacher "may I please be excused" (direct quote). And she said with more emphasis, and she huffed too I recall, and then said with cruel defiance "No..."

That gym teacher denied a boy with Cerebral Palsy, and frequent urination that came with it, access to the gymnasium bathroom. Often delighting in the fact I had a urinary emergency, I still recall. Because that would make her more cruel when she noticed that, I recall. And I was psychologically abused by my best friend at that school, who thought it was funny that I repeated things with emphasis, like the time I begged him not to make a prank call on CB channel 9. And many more times. He often teased me, at least. And made fun of me more and more, especially as he became frustrated he still had to be my friend.

And that school did not protect me. From that teacher who slapped me and almost ruptured my ear drum, from that boy I thought was handsome, from those boys when the tackled me to the ground and wrestled that innocent piece of paper they claimed they thought was another "note" from me. And they also humiliated me with that note passing thing. Because I prided myself in being a good student. And everyone, especially all my teachers (including my homeroom teacher) had big grins on their faces, and were looking around at each other and the students, smiling I still recall, as they scolded me, each time I was allegedly caught passing a note. And of course that teacher who slapped me did physically abuse me. And that boy I found handsome and his father told me that they would like to.

There's a lot more there to remember, and that I have already said. But I have to take my eye drops now. So I will do it later.

 

Yeah, I've seen a lot of weird stuff over the years. Like in a class I once took at a local college, about 25 years ago. There was this male student there. And he started acting bothered and apprehensive. Like he knew I was looking at him. Which was strange. This time I was sure I had not even looked in his direction before he started doing that. Then once in a crowded hallway, I was looking at him. And he became very angry. Possibly like he was even contemplating violence. I could tell he didn't like it, which kind of frightened me. Because clearly part of it had to do with the fact he didn't like gays. I was thinking about that though, what signals I could be sending, right after the 8th grade. Televangelist Jimmy Swaggart was involved in a 1988 prostitution scandal. And at one point, his male staff accused him of giving them all a "gay look". One comedian at the time pointed out, what could possibly be a "gay look"? I got the joke. But I thought there must be such a thing. Because I often give one. That or they could read my thoughts. It was never clear which, then. So I would often stand in front of a mirror. But I just didn't see what they were talking about. My expressions didn't change that much. And I couldn't see how I could be giving off such detailed information, I thought to myself.

And, talking about weird stuff. At least one person, I think it was a woman, could tell I was ugly on the phone. Possibly more people too. I thought it must be the size of my head. That could affect your voice. And people often told me in school how large my head was when they verbally abused me. The size of your head would affect the size of your mouth, which could affect your voice. And all of this starting one day during recess in my 6th grade, 1979-80 for some reason. People only seemed to start doing it then. That is something else I could never figure out. Then on the Halloweens of 1980 and 81, I went to the same man's house of one of my friends, in my friend's neighborhood. And both times, the man went out of his way to let me know that my Halloween mask did not hide my ugliness. Again, I thought it must be the size of my head he saw. Then, and I am remembering a little more of this, I think one time a someone could tell how ugly I was when I sent them a letter. I thought this time, I seem to recall, maybe my handwriting had something to do with it. But I wasn't sure. Then one time I was in the store of a local mall. A man had irises that were a strange aquamarine color. And he was being led around store by a young woman, probably his helper. He was obviously blind. And he turned his face towards me. And then his sight seemed to be restored. Because, and I will try to describe this carefully, clearly he could see at that moment. But only at that moment. (I will try to describe it better and remember more, if anyone wants.) But clearly his sight seemed to be restored at that moment. But only when he looked in my direction. And he got a look of horror on his face, just when he was looking at me at that moment, as I said. That one just never made sense to me though. I tried to think of an explanation. Actually, it kind of led me to believe that maybe I was imaging much of what was happening then in my life. But like I said, something clearly happened. It did.

There were a lot of incidents like those above. Many, many like that. I probably forgot many of them. But I will try to remember more. And then submit it, in fact I submit it now, as my claim to that court and many others. But so far, everyone is ignoring me, as I said.

 

I guess I may be the one who loses here. With that court battle I will, because they'll never hear my case. If I go down to that court, they'll just deny it and say they don't know what I am talking about. Like that judge who thought it was funny when I told him my life and safety were at risk. Or if I try to find an attorney, and I'd need one for free. Unless my legal guardian would pay for one. And he says the problem doesn't exist, so he won't. And even if I did try to find any attorney, they'd just play along. I'm denied all access to the legal system. The doors of it are all closed for me. And I have to use my time wisely now. It might be taking me longer to do things. Possible due to aging or my Cerebral Palsy. I can't be wasting my time doing things like that. No one could.

And I'm not going to let anyone put me in a home. Certainly not a group home. Not even an old age home, really. I don't even know if I should go to an emergency room. I had diabetes and neuropathy for 20 years. And most of that time they didn't tell me and I wasn't being treated. That's outrageous. And if they say I am neglecting myself if that every happens, I'll say no. They harmed and exploited me, and then list the ways they did, if they want.

And now it looks like I may finally lose my ability to drive because I may lose my feet someday. For 20 years I fought that because I knew I was right. But I guess they'll be the ones who win that one in the end. And no one will help me get a car with hand pedals. I really think the people who hurt me over the years should. But they don't care now. My legal guardian won't. He says he wants to take away my car because the insurance costs him too much. Even when I explain to him how dangerous it would be for me to live where I do without it, and even though he lives in a rich affluent suburb. And if I try to get his help, he'll just ignore me more. If that's possible. He doesn't even to the minimum that's required of him under the trust. And now he complaining even that's too much.

 

You know there is a clever trick to making someone think you read their mind. I saw the street magician David Blaine, and I brought this up on another message board. He shuffled his deck of cards from on hand to the other (you've seen people shuffle the deck that way). And then he said, I know which card you were just thinking of. And he pulled up that card. It worked on me too. He paused the deck at just the right moment. But you didn't even see that part.

I think people have done that to me in the past, especially mental health workers. It's true. When someone speaks a sentence, you are just naturally drawn to one word in the sentence, even if it wasn't one of the important ones. For example if you said "George Washington was the first president of the United States" and paused on, say, the word "the". Even though it wasn't an important word in that sentence, everyone in the room would be thinking of the word "the" at that point. Then you could be clever and say BTW folks, did you know? The word "the" has a very interesting origin as a word. And it would appear you would have just read someone's mind. Because you were thinking of "the" then, not "Washington" or even "president". And you would wonder how it happened. Especially if it happened often.

It's a magicians' trick But I wonder what it's called.

 

Also I was going to say more about the mind reading trick. It could be caused by using trigger words and just having information I didn't know they had. In the Summer of 1992, when everyone in my life, in the world really, was acting really silly. And I was walking past the outside courtyard at that hospital, where the staff often ate their lunches. On the bench there. But it was covered with bird mess. And I thought to myself, why are they sitting in that? If it were me, I'd at least put a covering over it. And I swear, as soon as I had that thought, they did. And they were acting silly. Making frowning and unpleasant expressions as they held the plastic cover over the bench and grimacing, in a very exaggerated, obviously silly way. (I wonder if there anyone else there back then who saw that too.)

Or, even weirder was my Fall, 1991 computer programming class at my school. Just to add to my collection, I bought the Communist Manifesto by Karl Marx at the bookstore there. But I wasn't sure if the deep state, the military-industrial complex or whatever, would understand my reason or approve. As I was in the computer programming class I was wondering what my teacher's opinion of that was. And, I'm not exaggerating, he was clearly responding and answering my question, one-by-one. Like with "I don't know", "I couldn't say" and answers like that. He clearly seemed to know exactly what I was thinking, exactly at that moment, as I just started thinking that at the end of one class. I'm not exaggeration in the least. How did that happen? And what was going on there? Now, something did happen. I don't know what though. As I said, there is not a logical explanation for everything I've seen. At least not yet.

 

A couple of things about my legal guardian. He claims the job of taking care of me is too hard? But he never even did the minimum of what was required of him as trustee, or guardian, or whatever. Shouldn't a person do the minimum of what's required of them before they claim their job is too hard? And my therapist told me last time that a lot people live in Detroit without cars. My case is different. My neighbors are very angry at me for some reason. That makes my situation different. Plus I have Cerebral Palsy. A car is necessary for my mobility and independence. And, if my legal guardian is the one who turned all my neighbors against me (and I suspected right from the start he was) then he should be responsible for what he did to me. No? Because he lives in an affluent suburb, he can afford trips to Europe every year. But he says that my car insurance is too much for him. Because he places more value on money than my safety and life. I mean, that is what he is saying, isn't it?

I'll always need him as trustee, unless a better arrangement is found (like suing all the people who harmed me). And he is my guardian. A trustee wouldn't have to pay for your car insurance to ensure your safety. Now, a guardian would be expected to do that. And I want him removed as guardian, and will fight for the rest of my life to make sure he is. Because even if someone proves to me that he has been removed, I'll know they are lying. And no one has even bothered to do that yet.

 

BTW, moderators. I sometimes copy and paste what I post here from other text. I am always careful to leave out details that could identify someone. Even cities, if I can. (I think everyone knows I live in Detroit now though.) So if a proper name of a person or business, or even a city perhaps, is posted here and I don't catch it right away, you can cut out those words immediately. Because it was not intended, even though I try to be very careful.

I guess I might include the name of a business or a famous person if what I write about them is innocent or unimportant though.

 

And I am not suicidal. I never was. It was people like that long list of people that led me to believe that there was no hope for any quality of life or the unbearable pain would end. Because with those two suicide attempts I never wanted to die. That is why I ran to my parents both times and asked them to call poison control immediately. And if the matter ever comes up again, if I am ever in the emergency room because of another suicide attempt, if people ever think I am about to harm myself, if I am ever in any situation involving psychiatric care, consent or a court room, I will tell them. I will first list all the people who drove me to my first two suicide attempts. Then I will list people like the person in the most recent incident a year or two ago that continue to do it now. And I will tell everyone everything I know. So that it never happens again and people who do that to vulnerable people like me will be held accountable for their actions. And my political beliefs are none of anyone's business. And a majority of Americans would agree with me with my views. And, you can't escape the government or society anymore than you could terminal cancer. Ask Charles Dickens, ask Jeffrey Epstein about that. However, if anyone presses it further, than I will ramp up my approach. I am thinking of harming myself now? Well, only because of what people are doing to me in my life now, obviously. And what you are doing to me now, I will say to whoever asks the question.

 

And to summarize what I already said. This is mainly about medical personnel worldwide, but it applies to other professions too. Anything can become abuse, if done repeatedly, excessively and taken way too far. And even things that are supposedly harmless or allowed, like using the "harmless" numbers that hospital used against me in 1988 and 9, can become abuse, and psychological torture even if taken too far, and should never be allowed. Especially by medical personnel, who are held to a higher standard and should already know better than to get involved in things like that. And even innocent things can be horrible, violent and very painful threats. Sometimes for reasons only known to the victim of them. But still no one should ever do that or be allowed to get away with that under any circumstances. Especially to a vulnerable person who it was never justified with, and who did nothing to deserve it.

 

If that means you're contemplating a lawsuit, you should be aware that the statute of limitations for that has long passed.