It's been pretty cold around here so I've been wearing my winter coat. Ya know the one that the zipper pull broke off of and I substituted a split key ring loop for the pull as the coat is still good. Like this, except the pull part is missing and the ring is much smaller: We pulled into Sheetz to get some gas and I undid my seat belt so I could get out of the car. But somehow the little ring had gotten embedded in the shoulder strap and as my coat was zipped up I was stuck as I couldn't get the shoulder strap off. I pulled the strap out to give me some slack so I could work on getting the ring unstuck, but as it took one hand to hold the strap out and two to work on the ring I found I couldn't get it unstuck. I asked my wife to hold the strap while I worked on the ring. She managed to do that for about a minute and then announced she was going to pump the gas and I could unstick my own shoulder strap. Off she went. Now, I'm still trying to get the ring unstuck but I can't seem to get any slack in the belt. On top of that every time I let go off the strap to work on the ring it recedes into that slot on the B pillar of the car up near the roof. So it keeps getting tighter. At this point I have the brilliant idea to push some of the strap into the slot so that it releases and I can get more slack...only I can't get it into the slot far enough to release. So now it's shorter than ever and stuck to my chest. The next idea was to raise myself off the seat so the belt releases. Now it's tighter than ever. Maybe if I slide the seat back some I can get some slack....but I can't reach the seat button as I'm now stuck with my head hitting the ceiling. And now the strap is tighter than ever and I'm starting to panic. Here I am a 72 (almost 73) year old man stuck to the roof of my car by a key ring in a zipper pull stuck to a shoulder strap. Finally I had to smash my nose against the window, twist my neck and slowly work the ring loose as I'm gasping for breath and breaking out in a sweat. At last I work it free and fall out the door. I stumble over to the pump where my wife is just grabbing the receipt. "What's wrong with you?" she asks. "Nothing", I gasp. "Everything is just as normal as can be."
