My heart hurts...

Discussion in 'Love and Sex' started by grim_rebel, May 22, 2004.

  1. grim_rebel

    grim_rebel Member

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    I posted this in the relationship section, but figured it'd also go well here... Just tell me what you think, if you've been in this position before, etc... I'd be immensely grateful. Thanks

    I'm in a sort of dilemma here. I feel as if two people should be friends first before a relationship, does anyone else agree? Sadly, even after repeatedly telling myself to be patient, i just can't... even though i'd give up anything for this girl.

    Right, well here's my story, I warn you that it's quite long.

    Let me start by saying that I haven't had any serious relationships. I usually just hook up with girls, or at most, go out with them for one, two, maybe three weeks. My longest relationship has been in the range of one month. I guess in this respect one can call me a 'player'. Anyways, I really don't know what to do. This girl and I have been driving each other fucking crazy. She wants to be friends but has admitted feeling more for me, I want a relationship. Am I trying to move too fast? She's a beautiful girl and I suppose there is some tinge of jealousy involved in being friends and the possibility of her getting with some guy while we're only 'friends'. Even when she's told me that she feels more for me! I mean, she has told me, and I can see that she has made sacrifices to be 'friends'. She liked this guy for a long time and i just popped up into the scene and talked to her (we happen to share a car to school and back) seriously, not like in the past as acquaintances. Well, i realized that i had very strong feelings for this girl and only wanted her to be happy. I set her free and she went with that guy for about a day, until 'breaking-up' with him to be 'friends' with me. What's that supposed to mean?

    So like I said, we've been driving each other crazy. During classes we make eye contact, ignore each other, she said i made her stop eating, i've started working out again to release stress... She doesn't know what she wants, I try and play the friendship side but I want more... We go out and get drunk together but I haven't touched her, i suppose out of respect or proof that I want more than just the physical. So supposedly i made up my mind two days ago to just forget it, ignore the bitch and simply move on. She apparantly did not want this and sent me a crazy-long ALL CAPS message demanding an answer to my actions. As things went on, we became more emotional only to have her tell me that she really wanted me as a friend. I proceeded to tell her to fuck off and blow a random guy, i don't care, even when i did. Well i apologized, bought her a rose etc... This is all narrative.

    The point is, what does it mean when a girl just wants to be friends? And sacrifices someone she likes to be 'friends' with me? I don't mind being friends as a starting foundation for a relationship, but real friends don't get uber-jealous when another 'friend' gets with someone. And i know that i'd die if she got with someone under the pretense that it didn't matter since we were only friends. WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON????? Things are all settled at the moment, we're 'friends' and i'll be as nice to her as possible, buy her flowers and take her out to dinner. Do you guys think that she wants a relationship but wants to know me better first? God i'm confused.... thanks for listening.
  2. dropsomenyc

    dropsomenyc Member

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    Dude I think she wants you, but knows of your reputation and is playing it safe. You need to let her know that you won't be like that with her. You need to prove it to her, take your time, romance her. It's going to take time, but you usually have to wait for the really good things in this life.
  3. Drifter in the wind

    Drifter in the wind Member

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    dude, she likes you, you like her, do what you have to do. All of those other girls were just practice for how to handle this one. You have one life man. No rewind Button, think about it, whats the worst that could happen? really.. just go i for a kiss or something. Don't talk about it anymore and just move in man.

    good luck confused player.. you can do this... have faith in what you can do, and then you can do it.

    she wants you! youknow it, she knows it, what more do you need?
  4. toolmaggot

    toolmaggot Nuts Go Here.

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    She doesn't want to get played. Smart broad.

    Once a playa, always a playa.

    All you can do is humble yourself and show her you actually like her. The rest is up to her.

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