my girls had a HUGE fight yesterday.

qualifications.........3 kids 13, 18, 29,.............3 grandchildren 1, 4, 6, ...........5 brothers and sisters,.....9 nieces nephews 5 through 30......but why are you asking..does what i said seem inaccurate to you too, misguided, what...cause i gotta say that i was ready to, you know. have a forum!i mean c'mon, she said she tried everything but you and i both know thats impossible to do in the time frame she outlined..giving each method one day to 'work'[conservative estimate i think] that would mean 30 'methods' in a month..so i guess she honestly tried every thing possible which means i am out of line.....right?

 

Yes I think you are out of line. You're acting like an ass. Are those your true colors? I don't think there's one "right" method for dealing with kids. Every child is unique and may require different techniques. I don't think what KC did was wrong at all, and frankly I think it's quite effective with long-term positive results. What I do get from her is what a loving mother she is. And if your attitude is any indication the I'd say you taught your children how to be judgmental and condescending to others. Is that the best YOU can do?

 

dayum, girl. got your zing on!!! I belive I see your teeth. Truth of the matter is. It worked. Kids fight. Thats just that. I say let em go at it now and then so that they can check their heads. I bet it wont happen like that again for quite some time.

 

*claps*

Thats not the first time I've seen that poster being a bit of a ass. Oh well, the fact is that kids are hard and there is no 'perfect method'. My mom ran a daycare for 12 years and I've seen all kinds of 'methods' that affect children in different ways, some kids need to duke it out, and some kids are really bothered by the stand in the corner thing. Find what works for your kids and do it, just because it may not be the perfered method of one asshole poster doesn't mean that your not a great mom.

 

Yeah,you can get real tired separating kids,sitting them in corners for timeouts,taking away things they like and above all--trying to reason with them when they're out of control.I too, finally got tired of keeping them apart,so one evening while doing the dishes,I heard them start fighting physically and I just watched to make sure neither got any more than a few lumps.I really hated watching them punch and wrestle but it only lasted a few minutes (they were 8 & 10)and they have never fought or even argued since.They are now 30 and 28.So,it worked in my family.Of course they are close in age---a parent wouldn't want a 10 year old smackin' a 4 year old around.---------I was and still am a single parent.

 

what if they dont take a time out? what then? what if they dont stay in a corner? What then? Sometimes you just gotta let that roll or issue parental beatings as well.

 

I don't bite.... hard.

 

you flirtin with me?

 

read my original post,c'mon ....and letting them fight is the last possible resort, no way ,saying it many times just makes you wrong many times, how dare you assume i teach my kids to be judgemental and condescending,i teach non violence for sure..i also have full and final custody of my son..no lawyer,they handed him to me because my ex thought along the same lines as this lady..as lovivg as she thought she was she didnt feel the need to go the extra mile with her children..my two grand daughters scrap too but it takes maybe a few seconds to stop it with a little sulking after...now please lets agree to disagree,peace...and to the mom in question istand by my original post that shows i did not disrespect you or be a dick in any way..peace

 

I did read your original post. And it came across as condescending, followed by additional posts that reeked of judgment. I don't know how you behave apart from hipforums, but as I said, if your behavior in this thread is any indication then it stands to reason that you model judgment and condescention because that's how you acted here. Actions speak louder than words.

That sounded pretty disrespectful to me. I think you're just looking for an avenue to vent your frustrations and projecting your experience onto mamaKCita. You're basically telling her that her parenting warrants having her children taken away. That's being a dickhead in my book.

 

absolutely, you big sexy man you.

 

d'oh*shrugs shoulder and kicks a lil**blushes*

 

i ain't bothered by a judgemental prick here and there. i know i did the right thing.

 

ain't you holy?

i'm STILL not sure what part of trying everything you didn't understand. 30 days 30 ways. i'm a full time mom. "last resort," your words, not mine, is exactly right.

 

in no way did i mean to infer her kids be taken away...that was not my intention..if i am such a dick wouldnt i have just said that....i see your point,i understand why you are making your point,you have some strong arguments here..i believe my points are stronger and that many people will agree with both sides....if my ex-wife bullshit came through here all i can say is it helped shape who and what i am in good and bad ways..i am very far from perfect...farther than all you guys i am sure

 

it's cool, man. people get really amped up over parenting. especially on forums where you don't really get the entirety of the parents involved and the past history of the children. good on you for making your point and feeling passionately about it. you have no way of knowing that my children are my life and i haven't had more than a one overnight trip away from them in seven years. you don't quite know my involvement and the intensity of my attention nor the exhaustion of my position yesterday. what came of it was ultimately FREAKING AWESOME and a huge step forward for both of them. neither was really harmed and both realized they'd rather play together than fight.

but everyone loves to fight from time to time, as evidenced by this thread.

 

thank for that,best to alya all-my one year grandson is signing like mad, he knows about ten now,blows me away

 

My kids are 4 and they fight all the time, over silly things like who sits in which chair. Or our most recent....we got them a V-Smile game system for Christmas that I thought they would love since they could play at the same time, but they have STILL found a way to fight over it. How you ask? It's over who gets to play with controller 1. UGGG, I honestly feel like I can't do anything right sometimes with my two, but I keep telling myself that it will get better as they get older. I've come to realize that I have to "attempt" to come up with a new way everyday of defusing fights over silly things. My futile attempts only work about 30% of the time. Before I had kids I always thought that I would be able to outsmart them, little did I know kids are not as dumb as I thought they were, they're actually VERY intelligent.

You are definitely not alone...I struggle everyday with the same problem. Hopefully it will pass for both of us!

 

this book has been super helpful in our home


http://www.playfulparenting.com/

 

that's awesome. joey learned the one for "night" last night.