My Girlfriend Won't have Vaginal Sex :0 (Advice)

I have been dating this girl for 2 years and thinking about engagment. She refuses to have vaginal sex. She uses large dildos to stretch her pussie, and sometimes, I feel like she is punishing me. She was abused a couple of times when she was younger, and feels like this gives her control, so we only do deepthroat and anal. I do feel bad at times, because when we do deepthroat, I don't stop, even if spit is drooling down her face. I actually feel like it is a consequence in a way, because she is essentially denying me and her the norm. She fine with this argument and was used to it before we met.
At first, I thought she was joking, but I loved the thrill. Later, I thought that she was making a power play, and now I'm feeling a little guilty. I am thinking how can this go on? At times it's messy and sometimes I feel bad. She seems fine with everything, but what happens 5 years down the road?
Any Thoughts? Thx

 

"No" means no, and she's got a right to say no to any act you propose involving any part of her body, anytime you propose it. You have the same right when she proposes to use her largest dildo to, as you say "do deepthroat and anal" on you with it.

An absence of vaginal penetrative intercourse is only a problem if you intend to have children together. That's how they're made, so it would be time for you to move on from this relationship.

If she's trying not to have children with you now, she's doing an excellent job. I compliment her for connecting those dots.

You're very welcome.

 

Appreciate how lucky you are

 

Trust me, if you're having this kind of problems and head games, once you put a ring on it, it's only going to get worse. Interesting that she likes to deep throat you rough like that tho....that is one redeeming quality.

 

If there is an ounce of truth in your post - then it is time to go.
Obviously you don't like the situation. And she wouldn't like it if she relented. So either way, no one is happy.
If you really have strong feeling for her, then you need to encourage her to seek counseling to get past whatever issues she has. If she refuses to, then you either have to accept it or don't.

 

Have you seen that this person has a vaj ? My first thought was that this could be a man faking being a woman.

 

If as you say she's been abused earlier in life, maybe this is her way of being in control, she knows through experience what a bloke wants, so by denying it to you, she maintains control, maybe she's saving it until she gets married that's quite possible. She may not be a virgin, however she still has something you want and you want her to give it to you, so in a way she still has control, and dignity, most women take quite a while to be persuaded to indulge in anal, yet your lady seems happy to do it, it's just possible that if she was a victim of sexual abuse, she was first taken vaginally, I've known a couple of abuse victims, and this is normally how it goes, anal comes later. Psychologically she may be damaged, indeed she probably is, in her way if her abuser took her vaginally first then she sees her vagina as being ' worth more' than her anus, think of it like this, suppose you broke into a building and only had time to steal one thing, naturally you'd take the thing that was most valuable, wouldn't you. See what I mean, My wife was the victim of domestic violence for years from her ex-partner, I did my best for her, bought her nice clothes, spent money on her, one night we'd been to the pub, we came back and she started a silly argument, I didn't really take her on, she began to throw stuff, I still didn't react, finally ,she wore herself out, I went to bed and told her that when I got up next morning I expected the house to be put back as it was, tidy and all signs of the previous nights events gone.
When I did get up the house was spotless, I sat her down and demanded an explanation for her behaviour the previous night. She told me that despite all my friends telling her I wasn't into hitting women she didn't believe them, she figured that if I was going to do it it was more likely after a few drinks, that's what her ex had done, so she'd got me to the pub then kicked off when we got back home. Finally she accepted that I wasn't going to be violent to her, she keeps a lovely home and holds down a full time job as well. Sometimes when people have been through a trauma they can react in strange ways, I suspect this is whats happening with your girlfriend. You should try sitting down with her and gently get her to open up about it, don't force it though, let her dictate the pace,if you do see you two getting married perhaps this is a good starting point, ask her if she wants kids if you were to settle down together, if not then ask her why, but do it gently, it will take time. I was physically abused when I was very young, I never told anyone about it for 40 years, I only opened up to my wife about it after being diagnosed with PTSD as a result of the abuse, we'd been married about 15 years by this time, she struggled at first to understand why I hadn't said anything, but understood when I explained things to her.
The best advice I can give is this, if you're serious about her then take it slowly, if you are not, then walk away now.

 

Since it's a love and sex forum maybe think about the love. I'm male I totally get it. You want to be where she will not let you be. But there are rare cases of women who for medical or personal reasons don't want traditional sex. You can either find a women who meets your needs or fine something more than sex.

Her history of abuse and what she likes is sketchy to me personally. She was abused but also kinds of wants a painful experience?

 

Give her time, care and love. That's ultimately all you can do. Offer to talk about it, but respect her wishes if she prefers not to. Don't give up unless it's clear that things aren't working.

On another note, many guys would love to be in your situation! A lot of women won't/can't deepthroat and even more will refuse to even try anal sex. If you are allowed to fuck her mouth and fuck her ass then you're a very lucky guy indeed.

 

The best indicator of the future is the past. Ain't gonna change so you get what you got. Love it or leave it.