because drug addicts lie.....it is useless until they open up on there own....drug counselling 101 ....he should bail.....you only live once and devoting it to an addict ?...I dunno man...not me
So you guys serious with the "Why don't you just talk to her advice"? Beeee....cause if she is an addict, no addict has ever lied before?
That's the quick solution to be sure. But it's not always the right one. Back when I was shifting to Crack as a way of getting off meth my wife should have run from me screaming. She should have walked and let me figure life out on my own. Instead, she doubled down. She ran interference with my family, employers (I got fired a lot) and landlords (I got evicted a lot). I went from being a regular user to a binge user when she realized that letting me smoke pot was SO much better than letting me smoke crack (cheaper too). It was her faith in me that pulled me out a lot faster than the way I was going. That was about 25 years ago, we're still married and I actually managed to build a career in a dying art.
The best book I have found for dealing with this is "Games Alcoholics Play". It's old, but so are the games addicts and drunks play on their enablers.
my own story is not different than yours in many respects my brother.... The guys who I was selling drugs for went to California and what do you know they learned how to freebase there came back and showed me LOL that was at least a couple of years before the big crack epidemic I know exactly where you were coming from....... This dude is not married no children at cetera ..... Btw life can work out both ways because my wife did not stick around she absolutely bailed on me and flew the coop and left me with my drugs haha but things worked out for me fine I was able to find my way without her
Like I said may be what is happening the come down is so bad and she feels so sick like that that is where she is saying oh or shit and she takes of to the bathroom. It could be the come down is so bad and she feels terrible that why she is taking of of to the bathroom to get high. And her expressions I really got to go she cannot deal with come down. And when she comes back feels better for the 15 minutes to 20 minutes than she is feeling really shitty again and than takes of to bathroom and snort some more cocaine and good for other 15 minutes to 20 minutes. So does this sound like she is going through come down and that is why she is running to the bathroom a lot or does it sound more like she is on a cocaine binge. Like I say I don't know if it drug binge she is doing and is after it or it is the cocaine come done and she snorting every 15 minutes to 20 minutes to help with the come down.
Ok, the frequency is indeed a bit noticeable. Is there any chance you have some place you two ever go to that's a substantial distance from home, like more than an hour or two to drive? Suggest going there, or find a compelling reason. If she absolutely refuses, go see a movie or two. If she agrees, and actually gets in the car, you will have cut her off from her source (if there is one). That doesn't mean she hasn't prepared a private stash to carry. Prepare for lots of stops at rest areas. Do whatever business you suggested, an addict will have the timetable down to the minute, so don't try to fool her. When the anxiety begins, agree to get back in the car and head home. While still far enough away to make a taxi or ride share impractical, have the car break down on the roadside in the middle of nowhere. Here you have to put on a good show. If an addict suspects even the slightest sliver of deception, as a means to keep her from her next fix, you will become a victim pretty fast. What I have spelled out here is a rather unsavory thing to do to anyone. Don't think she will "thank" you for it any time soon. While you lost trust for her long ago, she's still banking on the trust she has for you (and your good nature). Doing this will break that directly and it may not be recoverable. Addicts can be very vindictive people. Like it or not, most of your options are not good. It's clear that communication is already in jeopardy. Subterfuge may be all you have left, but you do need to know. Otherwise time has stopped for you, but you continue to age, rapidly.
Cocaine, definitely. Not as bad as Heroin to get off of. But the shit does make you want (NEED) to use more every 15-20 minutes. Nasty stuff.
@Panda99 so sorry you have to go through this. If you truly love her, do it for her and help. If not, then perhaps it's time to move along. Only you can answer that question.
Or simply she might be autistic and have sensory processing disorder. You should support her and help her out.
Or maybe you are just abusing people all day long with your pointless attacks on others. I can see a really grumpy old man trying to get his way with some kind young dude who is working around a forum that he has never experienced before but has to put up with a narcissistic idiot who thinks that they need to give people a bake all the time. Might sound crazy mate but i know what narcissm looks like and you have it in spades. Don't care if somebody doesn't know what they are on about really. But you there is no need to abuse others all the time.
I know it as a person who was addicted to alcohol. I was bored when I was sober and find no point in being sober but I was putting myself in danger when drunk. I got beaten up 2 times when I was drunk. I havent drunk alcohol for about 2 weeks.