My girl and oral sex

Hey!
This is the point: my girl doesn't want to blow me.
Sometimes I still try to convince her, but she's is absolutely inflexible about it.
A couple of years ago she tried two or three times but she wasn't enthusiast. She used to sit with her back towards me, without looking me (shame, surely, but it was okay for me, don't demand more!)
Now she doesn't even want to hear about it... I don't understand why! Is she disgusted? Or does she feel ashamed?
I'm not interested in having a "complete" oral intercourse, actually! I'd like to use it to get excited enough to go on with sex! Just like how I do oral sex on her...
She says me: "You know I don't like those things".
I'd really like to change her mind, if possible.

(Meanwhile I have been circumcised for phimosis).


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Mate, you sound like ME with my ex-gf a few years ago.
I would always try and go down on her in order to perhaps, get something in return but she would rarely do it back. She just never initiated it and when she did suck...like on my bday, it was so pathetic. There was never any enthusiasm and gusto! Was she ashamed? NO. Was she disgusted? NO
SHE JUST WASNT INTERESTED....it wasnt her thing plain and simple.

Fast forward to my current gf now and shes totally different. Shes really into it, initiates it, is always asking me about trying new techniques etc.


The point is, you cant make anybody do something they dont wanna do. It's just not a turn on. Theres not really much u can do. If she wants to explore oral sex on you, she will do so (or not) in her own time. Shes not stupid, and youve obviously made it clear that its important to you. Unfortunately for you, shes also made it clear its not her thing and no amount of advice is going to change that...

You need to decide if as a whole, shes worth it and if u can do without oral if u decide to be with her for life. There are plenty of girls out there who will blow u in a heart beat...AND more. I understand how u feel bro.

 

Thanks for the reply!!
Actually it's not so necessary, I love her for other reasons! I think that sometimes sex could be better, but tbh I'm not so obsessed with "the perfect intercourse". We have sex and that's fine for me. I *love* to lick her and I love to see her getting horny. This is great!
About oral, it would be a nice boost.


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Are you sure that she's really into you in the first place? Girls can be made to do a lot of kinky shit with a guy that they REALLY like (blowjobs are about the most innocent thing on that list). I consider it pretty normal that people like to please their partners. Just like you love to eat her out, even though you don't get anything from it yourself. It's only fair to expect her to act like a grown up person and be able to return the favour. Otherwise, stop eating her out and see how she reacts, or find a new girl that you're more compatible with. Begging for a blowjob probably won't ever work, you have to be spontaneous and find a way to really get her into it.

 

I'm currently in a similar situation. If you read some of my previous posts you will see. My chick says oh your the love of my life but even though we've been together for 3 years she won't do it. And I do it to her maybe 4-5 times per week. For her it is because it grosses her out. She has told me. She tries to say I don't, but at the end of the day I know I do. She actually did it last week for the first time and I just felt bad for her. After 3 or 4 minutes of her gagging I just said forget it. The fucked up thing is if she had a job right now I would have kicked her out for not doing it but I don't want to put her on the street. I think it is a simple thing and as adults sometimes you do things for the person you love because they enjoy it.

so good luck, sorry that you have to deal with that too. It really does suck.

 

I will also say when I asked her if I stopped eating her out because I don't get what I desire she started crying because she craves receiving oral. So it is an option, even though I am the one who caved.

 

Um... deal with it.

 

If you really love her, try your best to get her to like it, a little (alcohol) always helps. Get her in the mood first though. But in honesty if you end up marrying this girl, you will feel like you are missing out and will look elsewhere in some point of your life, unless she changes when or if you get married. (Most women do)

 

And you will stand for such immature attitude?

 

I've been with a couple of girls who refused to blow me. One was a girlfriend.

IMO, find someone else. If you're not satisfied sexually, the relationship doesn't stand much of a chance. And there are plenty of girls who don't mind giving head, and some love it.

 

I agree. If it bothers you, do something about it. People should know better than to refuse to keep their partners satisfied if they want the relationship to work out. There are probably one or two billion females on this planet that would gladly give the guy in their life a blowjob, the rest being mainly underage girls, and women living in ultra conservative countries.

I also think that many of these girls that refuse to try something with one guy will actually end up doing it with another. It's not all about her, it's also about the guy and his skills to get her hot and bothered, and willing to drop her inhibitions for him.

 

dump her and don't look back

 

You should never have to "convince" someone to do something for you. Would you really want a terrible pity blowjob? Find someone you're compatible with sexually. Relationships may not be all about sex, but that's a pretty damn important component. Either find someone that loves giving head, or someone that at least is willing to do it because you like it.

You don't want to end up like nz male, posting on a forum about all the things you WISH your wife would do.

 

Thanks for all your opinions. Much appreciated! As I said, I don't make a drama for this. Actually, I think that she associates that gesture to something "dirty", something that only prostitutes do - and with this word I could include every women who are very very nasty. Obviously, I can't know what exactly she believes.
(Think I'm gonna marry her, we are building a life together)


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If she won't even blow you think of all the other things she won't do even out of the bedroom, you'll be missing out. She's one of those selfish lovers so keep her on the side and keep your options open. Plenty of other girls out there that would be more than pleased to satisfy you!

 

Exactly.
You're sounding too pussy whipped at the moment, and it's not too late to change that. At least tell her that you will marry her once she is mature enough to respect your wishes and get over the silly prostitute comparisons, it's about two people that want to marry for crying out loud.

 

I can't deny that sometimes she looks a bit too detached about sex. I have to 'beg' for sex sometimes and we can stay days without having sex - we live together and I believe that she should be a little more enterprising, but she has a huge limit: she says she's always tired. She doesn't say it because she doesn't want to have sex, but because she's *really* tired! As soon as she's in the bed she falls asleep!
Anyway, when we weren't living together (and we used to met 2 or 3 times a week) she was more willing.

 

I second that. Apparently the two of you are not on the same page sexually, so over time something will give and you will end up fighting or breaking up over it. It is better to exit now before it gets worse.

 

I really hate sounding like this, but dump her before you vow to spend the rest of your life with her. You do get that constantly being "tired" is nothing but an excuse for simply not wanting to have sex with you? If it was an activity she was actually looking forward to, falling asleep wouldn't be a recurring theme when the opportunity for having sex arises. Trust me. She has decided that she doesn't like it, simple as that.

To me, it's quite remarkable that you're actually talking about planning your life together with her. That requires compromises from both parties, and you shouldn't give in when she isn't willing to budge at all. If it bothers you now, it will only get worse with time as you start thinking about everything you've missed out on, and eventually the whole story will fall apart in one way or another.

 

relationship is compromise. If your gf is not into it then it ruins the experience for you both if you try and push it. Best to explore the things that you both like and enjoy what you have.