My friend had what I believe is one of these 'christian guilt trips' (http://www.hipforums.com/newforums/showthread.php?t=477038&f=117) recently after consuming probably the equivalent of 4g in tea. He has also tripped numerous times in the past with success (I was present for most of them), and among his past trips he had one bad psychotic episode that lasted 36 hours that I was not present for (this was on Ehrlichs tested LSD tabs I have experienced, never lasting longer than 10-12 hours). From what he told me, this break he had was much less christian biased. He thought he was A god for some of it apparently. As well, later on he entered the void and experienced past lives. I know these are common themes among heavy ego trips, but he was quite out of reality for 3 days making that on a different level obviously. So flash forward to last weekend. This is more than a year after his first episode. This is also after one successful medium-dose mushroom trip about a month earlier. I had advised him to discontinue using psychedelics, if not completely at least until he learns himself a bit more and learns the more spiritual trippy headspace while sober (meditation etc.). Well, last weekend, he tells me he's ready, and he's bought a bunch of mushrooms. So I have him and a couple close mutual friends over (all have tripped together before) and we proceed to make tea. The trip started normally, we listened to music and laughed and wrote down ideas. Anyway, I'm not going to go into detail about the good part. We decided to go outside after dark (about 2 hrs in) to go to this really cool school that is close to my house (two sides of it are grassy hill that lead to the roof where there is tarmac and basketball hoops) to go lay on our backs and see the stars. This night is a cold crisp canadian fall one. My friend (Ill call him W) seemed to be a bit out of it, but in a good way while we were viewing the sky. Then while we were trying to leave the trouble began. It is like W fully lost control of his mind. He was experiencing intense auiovisual and cognitive hallucinations. To us he simply seemed delusional every time he opened his mouth. We tried to walk him down the country road back to my house, at one point he was very receptive if I would hold his hand and walk him. He stopped holding my hand when we were approached by a member of our group (who Ill call C) who was actually wearing a big orange construction pylon on his head just for fun. This is when W began having trust issues with us because he secretly thought we were demons trying to lure him somewhere. From our perspective though, what he was doing was taking his phone out of his pocket and stopping walking, hoping we wouldn't notice, and then walking literally backwards. We actually had a hard time not thinking that at least this small detail was funny, but any humour was short lived as we had to tell him his name and our names and where we were OVER and OVER to get him to walk with us again. He wasn't telling us that he thought we were demons or at some points walking skeletons because he was afraid of possible attacks. Once we actually got him to my house where my house-mate was now sleeping, and he is a drama queen about being woken up, which added tension to the situation for me. Getting him in the front door was a huge farce. C was trying to do this himself because another thing W was doing was switching who he would trust at any given moment, most of the time it was me, but walking up to the house he had kinda chosen C to be his guide. Walking up to the house he was talking about wanting to 'fuck something for 12 hours', and asking us where the 'hot sluts' are. C convinced him finally to come in by promising females upstairs. I would never condone lying to someone who is in this state, but at this point I needed this loud person off my front step in this small rural community. He soon forgot about the sex stuff and then started I guess thinking we were demons again. I wanted to get him to come and sit in my den and listen to a familiar song and I think he really needed the familiar high of weed (I know the effects weed can have on the trip, the timing would have been right in this case though). I couldnt get him to actually go in the door of this room though. He just wanted to stand in the middle of the house. At this point I needed to close the door of the den (as there are about 5 of us total on mushrooms, it was kinda loud with music added) with everyone inside of it. He has been in this room blazing with me and others probably upwards of 40 times, and he just wouldnt believe this when I would tell him. Then a turning point. He asked 'will you still talk to me if I go in there?'. I said yes. But then he said, 'will you talk to me forever?', and because I was tripping I had a hard time sussing out his tone but I said, 'Ill talk to you as long as you need'. Then he said, 'because theres a lot of better things I could be doing' From this point on in the trip, he was kinda an asshole to me and everyone else, but he actually came inside the room and sat. When asked what song he might want to hear he responded 'hot bitch. you know it?'. He hadn't actually forgotten the whole sex fixation, just suppressed it for a while it seems. Now at this part of the story, I am just going to list the things he was doing, and not necessarily the order. Things would come in waves in regards to who we were in W's mind and where he though he was. At some points he thought that I was god, and that C was Jesus and that another friend was 'the third man' (?). These were weird times, because I would explain that I wasnt god but he just wouldnt hear. Even during these times he would say things like "I just want to kick the shit out of you, but that would be too easy". At one point during this fantasy, he slapped my friends face fairly hard and then came up and raised his fist. When I flinched he just kept his fist in the air. I really didnt want things to get physical. He then did the same thing to C, but C didnt flinch, W swung his fist towards C's face, and then stopped short and only flicked his forhead. I understood this was a trust exercise so I let him do the same to me. At other points he was completely engrossed in sexual thoughts and fantasies. He once asked for his water bottle, and when he received it, he closed his eyes and literally began to just finger the shit out of the mouth of the bottle. Like he went faster with his hand than I have ever seen, he was getting water everywhere, it was quite embarrassing. I also should mention that one time he had gotten up from sitting down and he was standing for a long period of time beside me, after a while, C took his spot on the couch. This worked for a while until W wanted it back again. Without words, he began trying to pick up and move C physically. He was tripping hard enough that he just fell forward ontop of C. At this point W began spooning C and groping the area there were probably breasts in W's mind. These sexual parts of the whole thing made it that much more uncomfortable. There were times when he also REALLY wanted to just crawl INTO the coffee table (which had a bunch of expensive glass on it, so we relocated that stuff quickly) and he would try to jump into the ceiling as well. The rest, unfortunately is not in my memory at this time, I'll edit if I remember some important things. Don't know honestly my purpose for posting this, I guess just give your thoughts and questions.
interesting story, but i don't really have much to say about it. i read the other thread too, written by your friend. seems like being super religious fucked with him when he was tripping. i can't relate.
It boils down to organized religion being both internally and externally inconsistent. That is to say, it is inconsistent within its own statements, stories and axioms, and it is also inconsistent with the reality unveiled all around when looking through lenses outside said organized religion. So when taking a psychedelic, which promotes clear vision and nuanced understanding, these inconsistencies could wreak havoc in the mind of someone who has built their entire moral, ontological, epistemological, and historic viewpoint of life around something which crumbles in an instant during the trip. This comes out as being a very messy process of mental vomiting and diarrhea; all the iconography, semantics and values come tumbling out in front of the user, who is no doubt too perplexed to realize this is a moment of "wait, why do I believe this? Why have I believed this all these years?" and instead they can't make that final leap and are stuck in that very worldview while having all these things eject from the bowels of their mind into the forefront, leaving their only option to be either utter confusion and terror, or some theologically tortuous explanation.
You put it perfectly. I have noticed these inconsistencies screwing with people caught up in organized religion constantly, even outside of the big-picture psychedelic mindset. I am not religious anymore so to say, but I do remember going through the mental turmoil of religion rejection early in my life. I guess this is a warning to christians who want to trip, make sure you practice the bible and not pop culture before you trip. At least then you won't be so confused. Or go into the experience with an open mind to spirituality and organized religion. I think this experience is probably valuable in the end for a religious person, at least in their own eyes, either they will renounce Christianity or they will become at least closer to the original teachings of it.
I know the whole ordeal must have been pretty harsh, and I feel sorry for the dude, but I'm picturing that in my head and it is fucking hilarious. How's he doing now anyway?
Reminds me of 5-hit RC trip I had a year ago. I went pretty schizo, but we were in a controlled environment. The worst thing my friends had to witness was me saying a bunch of weird shit, and being a bit loud. Still pretty embarrassing to look back on. I can totally relate to religion, in this case Christianity, messing with the tripper's mindset. My worst fears manifested themselves in very strange and magnified ways. It was out of my control. I went through the "God" ego trip, where I thought I was the only one who was real, that I created this reality, and that I was responsible for the end of the world. There's a word for that sort of thing: solipsism. Bullying, loneliness and sexual repression also played a big role in my trip. Doubts about whether I was on the right path, guilt, social awkwardness, past encounters with peers, etc, etc. I remember ranting about "God" vs "Pussy", and going on a loop with that. Looking back on it, I can definitely see where that all stemmed from. Your friend needs to lay off the psychedelics until he gets his shit together. I recommend meditation and a pineal gland detox. Start eating organic, no fluoride, no food chemicals. Weed is good, but don't overdo it, and sativas are best for depression/anxiety. Also, I would highly recommend trying RNA drops, in addition to the above. It has major grounding benefits. I believe your friend is trying to 'wake up', he just doesn't know how. Society tends to leave us stranded in that sense. Be a good friend, and get him some advice. Direct him to this post, if you can. Also sounds like the dude needs to take some major action in his life. Whether that means moving out, getting a new job, working towards a career, traveling, making a difference, playing music, etc. You get the picture. It's all about finding something you LOVE, and doing it. Staying rooted in the present, and taking advantage of the opportunities before you in order to move forward. As for the sexual stuff, the best relationships come from a place of wholeness, not lack. As long as he's working at improving his situation, everything else will fall into place. He needs to be rooted in self-confidence, since that's where the biggest change comes from. He's fully responsible for the reality he creates. And he's not alone, I'm dealing with this myself and so are others. Last but not least, I would encourage your friend to explore his spirituality and reevaluate his beliefs. The world's in the middle of a big consciousness revolution, after all. P.S. You're spot on with your words, Mr. Writer!
Every time I've seen somebody go completely nonsensical like that, I've noticed that their personality is generally spread pretty thin ordinarily and it becomes profoundly fragmented while enduring psychedelic experiences. By 'spread thin' I am referring to people who identify with the mass to which they feel they belong (in this case, religion) as opposed to having a strong sense of self and solidarity; group think is responsible for inflation and exaltation of an individuals identity and if it comes to dominate then a schism like this is ultimately inevitable. Any visionary person is going to behold some utterly bizarre shit and undergo confounding death-to-rebirth episodes on high doses of psychedelic drugs, but the ability to maintain internal composure is something that is granted only to those of us who genuinely look within for guidance; thus why high caution is to be practiced when feeding people drugs.
