my first dance with lucy...

...is still upcoming (prolly this weekend). I wanted to start this thread i order to show pre-trip context to add more meaning to my trip report once I experience it. I pretty much have it figured out.

My friend has 8 doses of window pane (gel?) lsd, reported to be stronger than average. The dealer said for my first time I shouldn't take more than 2, but I intend to take 3, or maybe even all 4 of mine (since I don't see much point in having just one leftover...)

I'm confident in my ability to handle a larger than recommended dose for a few reasons. I''ve been studying like I have a final, concerning the guidelines and various pos and neg trip reports, even to the point of getting a bit dissociated and flower-faced just from reading. Erowid has some very powerfully brain-stretching and articulate trip accounts that make you feel the spirit of it beforehand. I always knew there were ppl who could adequately convey the inexplicable ego-loss and realizations from psychedelia (since I'm one of them), but it's a rare quality. I had to take a break from the stories because it was just too physically exhausting. I'll attempt my own story within this thread in a few days. Either way, I'd rather have a dose that's too big rather than too small.

So we'll go camping here in the great northwest, at a campsite by a lake that's open year-round, but shouldn't be too populated at the moment. We'll have a campfire, stuff to draw with, various appropriate music, bongos, art books, essential oils, weed, alcohol (none for me), oxys. We could just sleep in my SUV, but I wonder if we might arouse interest from being at a campsite with no tent. I just don't want to talk to anyone straight while i'm tripping.

Our intention is to spend the night after finding soberly finding an adequate campsite (has direct access to large areas of woodland without having to cross through on a road or others' sites), then drop the cid as soon as the sun comes up, then build the fire. that way it'll be calmed down by the time we're peaking, and we can add to it when we're waning in intensity.

I know I can't really build too rigid of expectations, but I understand it is good to have a rough plan, involving a setting where we'll be private and can do nothing for at least 12 hours...

 

That sounds awesome dude, the camp fire idea is really cool - look forward to hearing about it. 4 hits for your first time will be so amazing.

 

from my experience i wouldnt do 4 hits your first time. just depends on the stregth.
that first dose into the psychadelic world is crazy man. and taking just one is crazy that first time. i did 1 my first time, my friend did 1.5 and we both had a very intense overwhelming experience. he infact wanted to call the ambulance and had to be talked down, he ended up leaving to another city, after selling all his belongings and changing everything about himself, and getting in to all these strange courses on the mind. but it just shows how much that first trip can really have a massive impact on you. see after a few trips, you could have a bad trip on a hi dose and it wouldnt really faze you too much cause your used to it. but if you dose hi and have a bad trip that first time, it really impacts you deeply.

 

yeah I appreciate that perspective because I know bad trips occur, but I don't think people should treat bad trips as random anomolies. I believe that when a person has a bad trip, it's not that they're unlucky, it's that they put themselves in that state, wittingly or otherwise.

I wouldn't take a high dose if I wasn't confident in my own ability to maintain good trip vibes. I know shrooms aren't the same, but a lot of the rules apply. I've had shrooms dozens of times, have experienced what could have become bad trips, but I always took control of it and concluded that while there might be bad parts to a trip, there's really no such thing as a bad trip, if you are the steward of your mind.

I've been scared of acid for most of my life, due to bad trip accounts. It wasn't until I started reading the accounts of some solid psychonauts here on hipforums that I realized lsd would be a great decision, and I should prepare myself. I told my friend I wanted to do it, and he acquired some after not being able to for about 2 years (interesting...) It just feels right, like it's coming into place, and I needn't fear a large dose, that it will be more enlightening than a smaller one.

I know there's only so much one can learn from studying, but the bad trips I've read came about due to pretty consistent reasons, dropping on the spur of the moment, dropping at a party or something, with unknown people, unknown places. The ones who had rapturous trips had typical circumstances as well- they understood the drug, they sought out ideal settings, prepared themselves for acute ego-loss, ensured they had nothing to do all day.

Clearly there's no established protocol about it; it's a personal decision. I feel I can handle Leary's recommendation about taking a high dose for the first time. I understand a dose that's too high can be better endured than a dose that doesn't quite pass you through.

 

oh. sorry . i didnt read it all cause im trippin. but i thought didnt trip before. bahh dont dont worry

 

haha, that's what I thought. it's cool; I prolly would've typed all that eventually anyway

 

sounds perfect.

look out for the eyes in the fire...

 

You are going to be fine with attitude like that! Just to remind you to be relaxed and to let energy flow, don't try to control or fight anything, except anything comming your way and spread the love!
I wish you a beautifull trips and welcome to the family!

 

If your hits are as strong/stronger than my blotter (and it should be if it is windowpane) then 4 hits is probably going to be around 600 ug's. Have fun, I look forward to reading your report.

 

thanks everyone. I'm gettin a bit anxious, just from the eagerness to do it. But when I feel that way, I read a good trip report, and my mind reopens into the peace and fluidity that these 'nauts are proficient in portraying.

http://www.erowid.org/experiences/exp.php?ID=53085

^this one is particularly stunning.

 

can't you just take 2 to start with and then, if you decide it's not strong enough, take one or two more?...

 

you will have a wonderful time burnabowl. you have a great attitude and you are right about bad trips having nothing to do with luck! like shpeshifter said - remember to relax, breath and let the energy flow. i know that breathing should come natural but there is a lot to be said about conscious breathing.

i look forward to reading a trip report. i am so happy to see that someone can have your outlook with so many fools around trying to scare the inexperienced into having a bad trip. i am sure that you will be fine.

 

I suppose I could take the doses in increments, but I don't feel the need. I might get lost in an adequately mesmerizing trance to the point that I would't remember to dose again and not achieve transcendence. thanks, 3xi. I think I have it figured out then I attain another important principle, most recently the knowledge that you shouldn't make an effort to interpret what you're beholding, but just go with the flow of energy, and external truth is eventually delivered to the egoless...

 

alright. I forgot how to type the way I normally do. I dropped the gelcaps about 46 hours ago and I'm still surfing on an energy wave...everything around me is quietly supporting me and also churning within me. I have a new set of eyes, a new pair of shoulders, a new heart (that seems to be located around my sternum). everything speaks to me and makes me smile. I feel very rewarded, like the universe is proud of me and happy to call me its own. I"m eager to type specifics, but right now Lucy still owns me, and is gently leaving me out to dry.

 

but you cant just feed this boy with amazingly positive vibes trying to implant the thought that he is deffinatly gonna have a good trip. when realistically in no matter what setting or mindset if its a dose way out of your leage and experience it will be way to overwhelming. thats my opinon. care is needed.

 

oh i didnt read the previous post. well im just happy it sounds like you had an awsum time.

 

yes it was a truly unbelievable time. but those are pretty flaccid words. any attempt at a semantic description is vain. the only adequate expression for the experience is all of the cosmos and universe itself. the pure love and joy that is constantly felt by a god can only be expressed with the creation of something as infinite and beautiful as the universe. I don't think 3xi expected me to trip well cuz of hopeful words and good vibes, I think he just saw that I trusted myself and that was the prevailing feeling from the universe..it was proud that I trusted myself and wants me to continue to. i'll start a trip account when my kids take a nap

 

alright...my 2-year old is watching finding nemo. she is so much more mature to me. taller. I feel like I talk to her as another person, not as a parent speaking to his child. Also, I cannot remember why I would ever yell at her. I didn't yell at her often, but any yelling I ever did seemd totally pointless. It was as if I didn't know how to communicate with her, and yelled out of frustration. But I thought the times I yelled were good, like they were just part of the parenting thing, but yelling is never needed. It only exacerbates her tantrums.


Anyway. I want to write a trip report. I don't intend to do it in one post, and I don't intend to let it suffice in my current condition. I will come back as my articulation returns, to add more and more layers of understanding of this one eternal experience.

I could start with the circumstances of it, and lead into the glory, but I'm ill equipped to do that. INstead I'll start with what is most prominent, and add logistical items as they return to my thoughts.

The campfire. that campfire. we could not escape it. the warmth and safety it gave us. It was like a person holding a kite string, flying the kites that were us. We could soar high and wide, but always were anchored to the person holding us down with string.

But I knew there was more. another world by the lake. the world would be revealed to me if I detached myself from the security of the fire and wandered to the lake. My thoughts were "as soon as these logs here burn away, then I'll go to the lake." But when the time came that the logs were going away, I didn't know if the heat would still be there to put more logs on when I returned. I knew there was something I was supposed to be experiencing, an inferno of activity was brewing in my core. I expected this, I just didn't know which of me pre-planned outlets would engage this energy, so I assumed it must be at the lake (this lake btw was no more than 100 yards away from us). We kept planning on going to the lake, but everytime we started to, I thought of what we should bring, the chairs, water, weed... all of these considerations led me to wonder if these things would enhance the trip or hold it back, and I just went in circular loops, all leading to major realizations that my mind almost completely closed around, and when I was smiling at the depth of truth I was about to achieve, the sphere of it dissipated. Not only the conclusion, but the origin, the question, the reason I thought it the first place...all went poof and drifted up and joined the smoke and the wind. And I smiled at this. (to be continued momentarily....)

 

Dude sounds hella cool. Its also good to know that there may be some windowpane floating about the pnw, yay! In the past I've had purple and black windowpane geltabs, what color are the ones you took?

 

they were orange-yellow. I only took 2 so I could have 2 leftover. good decision; now I can let the circumstances and setting come to me, rather than forcing them just so I could get lucy in my blood. not that it downgraded the experience at all. I put the remaining doses in foil and underneath a white ceramic figure of jesus praying in gethsemane.

k I just made my daughter a quesadilla with sour cream. she ate only the sour cream.

anyway. my friend C had been asking whether I was realizing what I was realizing, to which I said, "no man...don't worry about that. I'm just tryin to let this energy do its thing." and he'd also say "wow we need to go and do something while we still have this..." These comments made me smile, because he was just as clueless about all this as I was, since the last time he'd had L was 5 or 6 years ago, both times only 1 dose. But he came up with some brilliance: he suggested we start toward the lake without considering anything, just see how it goes. The campsite will still be here, he said. I was like, "okay, but I'm bringing water," and I grabbed it quickly and started toward the lake without any further thought.

walking down the trail was a bit of a blur. there were people around but it didn't bother me. Even a swarm of obstreperous boy scouts walked right by our site, which was powerful. I put myself in one of their bodies and felt like a 12 year old with simple views and desires. It wasn't good or bad, just there...it did make me remark that now we knew the acid wasn't fake.

the lake came into view, and it was shocking. I was totally dumbfounded. It was puny and pathetic. I knew this lake was small, but this view of it...it was like a kiddy pool. with adults and children putting fishing lines in it hoping to catch something meaningful. was it really fish they were after?

I realized immediately that this lake was familiar. It was the first time I'd been there, but this lake had been in my dreams for most of my life. There was a place in my past, a pond at a historic farm rec area, where there were families packed tightly around it fishing for trout, max of 2 fish per person. But the dreams associated with it, had more meaning than that. I could never tell before, but that dreams were always there. It was like a painting in my head that I never analyzed, but always saw. And now I saw in perfect conscious vision, that same lake rematerialized before my eyes. I refused to approach any closer to the lake. It wasn't fear or any strong emotion, I just felt it wasn't for me. (to be continued...)