My fiance has been lying to me for two years and I'm not sure how I should handle it.

I can understand how any lie in a relationship can be awful and will upset anyone, but she may not have wanted you to know about the guy in prison - like other people have posted, she might have been ashamed, or scared that she would be perceived in a certain way (prison/ different fathers etc)

It's a lie, yes and I would too be upset by it but, talk to her first and allow her to explain why she lied. There are bigger things she could have lied about.

 

There are some great responses on here, thanks for all the support.

I'm going to try and bring it up to her tonight. I was going to last night but I soften so much when I'm with her, I didn't really have the heart to bring it up. Tonight she's making some pasta dish for dinner she's all excited about, and it's going to be really tough for me to just kill the mood like that.

And people keep bringing up her oldest kid and how he must feel when he sees the youngest kid's dad come to pick him up. Don't think I haven't mentioned this to her before. I'd ask her "so you're actually okay with him picking up Brian like that and just leaving Tony here without so much as a hello?" but I was under the impression that they were both his. I do feel for her oldest, deeply, but to pull the whole "think of the children" bullshit ain't gonna work. I love her boys (and I'm pretty sure they dig me too, haha), and I love her, but I also need to respect and look out for myself and my own well being.

I'm not going to jump down her throat about it, but I do want her to come clean before we get married. She has to, if anything, so I can understand her intent.

 

good luck... but be careful what you wish for....see ''marriage'' thread lol

 

My first reaction was to advise you to cancel the wedding plans now and postpone that until you can reevaluate... then I read the rest of the thread and I'm not sure.

Key points I see here:

-It's one thing to tell a small lie in the beginning of the relationship when you don't know someone that well and are intent on correcting it the next time it comes up later just because you are a bit embarassed about it or for whatever reason.
-It's an entirely different thing when he asked her the second or third time and was like "are you SURE they don't have the same dad" because he was showing doubt in what she said - and then she lied AGAIN. This point makes it much worse in my opinion.
-The other thing to consider is there is no way a sane rational non-retarded person would think that this lie could go on indefinitely. NO WAY. So I would guess that she had the intent on spilling the beans eventually or she just didn't think it was a big deal.
-No matter which way you spin it it's a bad character trait.
-I do think that if the person lied to can understand the person who lied your chances of reconciliation are better. Key word: better, not assured.
-If you can't identify with the person's reasons then it just makes it seem like the person lies randomly for no good reason - and it makes the situation worse.