My daughter, she, um....

Discussion in 'Parenting' started by HappyJoy, Jun 15, 2006.

  1. HappyJoy

    HappyJoy Hip Forums Supporter HipForums Supporter

    well. She humps things. Mostly her teddy bear and blankets and its usually right before or after she takes a nap. She will be 2 next week, and she's been doing it for a couple months now. she stopped for a little while but now she's doing it again. I've asked a few people about it and they just look at me like, "What???" I've even asked my parents about it and they're just like, "no she doesnt" But, I've seen her and, well, Yes she does. Can she even like, have any satisfaction from it? I dont really do anything about it unless she does it in front of people, then I just try to distract her or something. I have a friend who worked in a daycare and she said alot of older kids did it. I dont know, I guess I just want someone to tell me its normal and that shes not going to grow up to be a nymphomaniac or something. Should I ask her doctor about it? Thanks :)
  2. HippyFreek2004

    HippyFreek2004 changed screen name

    Yeah, she's getting a bit of pleasure from it. Not really sexual pleasure. But it just feels good.

    Just don't make a big deal of it. As she gets older, explain to her that she can do that when she's in her room but it's not accepted by everyone else and so she shouldn't do it in front of others.

    The last thing you want to do is give her bad vibes about her sexuality and sexual nature. Encourage her to explore and know her body, but as long as no one else is noticing her humping things, don't worry about it. :)
  3. Raving Sultan

    Raving Sultan Banned

  4. icedteapriestess

    icedteapriestess linguistic freak

    i used to do it as a child... hahah.. still do it as an adult. It feels good... she is aware that it feels good, but isn't aware of our social hang ups. A lot of kids do this at that age.. little boys play with their penis, little girls hump things and squirm around a lot. Totally normal. Freud even had (has?) it listed as a developmental milestone, although a lot of his stuff is all about sex.. haha.

    Don't stress about it.. as Holly said.. it's COMPLETELY normal! Just be happy that your child is enjoying herself!
  5. hippychickmommy

    hippychickmommy Sugar and Spice

    I did that as a little girl too. I felt guilty about it because my mother knew I did it and made an issue over it (which is not something you want to do!), but it felt so nice I couldn't stop! [​IMG]

    It's natural, don't worry. She'll be fine. :)

  6. WTF??

    OP, yeah, it's totally normal. I wouldn't worry, just continue to gently distract. I wouldn't bother your her doc about it.
  7. Bumble

    Bumble Senior Member

    i used to do that when i was little. I guess i turned out ok.
  8. mamaboogie

    mamaboogie anarchist

    I couldn't have said it better! ^^

    it's totally normal. Don't shame her or make her feel like there's something dirty about that part of her body (what my mom did to me). Don't make a big deal of it at all, and go off on anyone who has a negative reaction if they see it. It's like picking noses, everyone does it, we just do it where nobody can see us. ;)
  9. Maggie Sugar

    Maggie Sugar Senior Member

    Just one question. Is she isn day care or out of your site for more than a few minutes at at time? MOST kids who do this are just discovering their sexuality, usually around the time they are just getting out of diapers, and can have access to their genitals and don't have the padding down there anymore. Once in a while, it can signal a child who has been sexually assualted. I am not trying to scare you, just that it can be very normal or it can be a warning that something isn't right, depending on the circumstances.
  10. HappyJoy

    HappyJoy Hip Forums Supporter HipForums Supporter

    No, she's not in daycare. I'm a stay-at-home mom and I watch other kids in my home so I'm basically around her 24/7. The only people I have ever trusted to watch her are my sister, my parents, and a family I have known for years, all of whom I trust 100%. Oh and her Dad, too of course. So I dont suspect anything like that.

    Also, Like you all have been saying, I've been trying not to make a big deal out of it because I dont want her to think thats its "bad" but I just want her to understand thats its not appropriate to do in front of people, which I think she's starting to get because she doesnt really do it in front of people anymore, I was just wondering all of your experiences with it. lol. You know what I mean. Thanks for the advice :)
  11. Tamee

    Tamee naked

    my little five year old cousin humps things sometimes and says things like "Oh baby". I don't know where she got the idea, but I can tell she does it just for the negative attention. Not saying that's why your daughter does it, that's just my only experience with little girls humping things.
  12. My daughter has started "stroking" herself. I just tell her to stop and leave it at that. I don't make a big deal out of it.

    I don't go into detail when I say it to her...I just say word is the final word. lol.

    When she's older, she'll get her talk...I was seven when I got the talk and I handled it fine..she can wait a couple of years.
  13. Maggie Sugar

    Maggie Sugar Senior Member

    Good, mamas tend to really have a second sense about things like this. If you know she is just messing around, then that is fine. A lot of kids masturbate.

    I know, especially with my boy, you kind of kind of take them aside, and be very unjudgemental and say, "That's OK, if you want to do that. Some people get pleasure from touching themselves or rubbing up against things, but that is a private thing, and probably should be done, in your bed, when you are on your own. It's getting to know yourself, but in a way that only you can know." Something like that. That way she won't be doing it in preschool, or kindergarten or at Gramma's.....and will still know if she WANTS to there is a time and a place.


    I remember when I was about 3 or so, I was messing around, didn't know anyone was looking at me, and was sitting on the floor I put my heel into my yoni, more absentmindedly than anything else, and my grandfather (who we lived with) FREAKED OUT, yelling and telling me I was sinning and shit. I was just a baby, really. I still remmeber it, 41 years later. It should always be handled kindly, and with understanding. :)
  14. mamaboogie

    mamaboogie anarchist

    my father freaked out the first time he saw me touch myself in the bath when I was three. My parents both made me believe there was something very very bad about that part of my body, shamed me into never touching myself except to wipe, and probably created many issues that later surfaced when I was a teen and too scared to masturbate (so I got the neighbor boy to do it for me instead).
  15. JayzzMama

    JayzzMama Member

    This is kind of embarrassing for me to share. I must have been about three when it happened baecause I remember my sister was a baby. I just had discovered how good it felt to hump something. My Mom had a bunch of guests over (5-6 people, including my uncle and his wife) and I was so excited I ran in to where they were and told them I had something to show them. I proceeded to bunch up a pillow and SHOW them how to do it! My Mom quickly yanked me up and I saw she had an angry/embarassed look on her face. All the guests were laughing in a mean way. I'm scarred for life! Just handle it gently!
  16. Maggie Sugar

    Maggie Sugar Senior Member

    Aw, ladies, our moms didn't know how to handle it. Good reasons to even talk to kids before they do this. and with boys, it's nice to get them their own box of Kleenex (maybe have daddy do this, if he is around) and let him know "something" will come out of there eventually. Lennon has told Bear and me some of his buddies thought they were dying the first time they ejaculated. One boy threw away his underweear and sheets, thinking he would "go to hell" if his mother saw the ejaculat. An other boy thought his mother would get pregnant if she touched the sheets. (BTW, this is an excellent time to introducing your son to the washing machine! Works every time. Less embarresment for him, less laundry for you. ;) )

    How difficult is it to just OPEN a book and explain normal workings of the human body?
  17. RetroGroove_Grrl

    RetroGroove_Grrl I'm a big girl now

    lol, this thread is cute as.

    Its good that someone has brought it up, because I think lots of parents wonder about this.

    I know I used to do it when I was really little, and you know, mum just said that I shouldnt do it... I used to get sore from it too so that prolly made it easier for her to do...

    Anyway, my suggestion is the typical, just let her know that there is a time and a place for everything, and that place is somewhere private.

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