My brother killed himself

I thought things would get better for me or my life would somehow get better.... only things got worse when my brother ended his life. Still remember the phone call we got from his wife, my mother crying on the phone and being totally blank. Ended up snapping out of it and sobbing. I loved my brother Peter and I looked up to him. We both suffer with PTSD from childhood. He couldn't take his PTSD any longer and decided to end his life. His wife has flashback's of finding him and my niece wears his clothes to be close to him. My mother doesn't think my niece is suffering, only I can tell she is, she is completely lost and sad. I love my mother and I've been very supportive of her, only she doesn't see things sometimes. So I try to be patient with her. If I feel angry at all, I go off to my room to listen to music and draw. My brother loved Chris Cornell, huge fan of Soundgarden as I was and now anytime I hear it, I smile when I hear it because it makes me think of Peter my brother. He committed suicide back in August. Things is slowly getting better, only I still feel great deals of pain. Not many people want to talk to me and want to avoid me, I guess their afraid how to act around me or what to say to me. One thing I don't want is people feeling sorry for me and thinking I'm some kind of nutcase, because none of this shit is true. Everyday I try to think positive, I do break down though and I have been crying a lot. Peter is always in my mind and I miss him so much. Does anyone relate with this? Has anyone lost someone to suicide? If so, please reach out to me, I'd like to hear from you. Thank you.

 

Oh my!
I lost my younger brother.
Not to suicide, but I know exactly how you feel.
Please feel free to PM for support.
Candy

 

Very sorry for your loss! Couldn't imagine how i would feel in a similar situation (well, terrible, that's for sure)

 

No doubt many people have said this to you before, that it gets easier with time. Be patient darlin' - it does I promise you. Oh you'll still miss your Brother and it will still hurt, but that pain will get less in time. I'm an old man (71), and I too have lost family and friends, people who died long before their time. My Nephew (my Sister's son) died at the age of 32 from Cancer contracted when he worked with Asbestos.

Many, many years ago I had a friend at school. After we both left school, we maintained contact and met up regularly to play Snooker. He borrowed a friend's car one evening and ran into the back of a parked lorry on an unlit road. He tragically im died. All these years later I still remember him.

As you age, you will, in due course lose others amongst your circle of friends and family, hopefully due to 'natural causes' and you will miss each and every one of them too. Just remember the good times you had with your brother and smile once in a while.

 

Yes.... I've been close to several people who have committed suicide it .. I highly suggest a grief counsellor.....they can't make you feel less sad but they teach you tools to get on with your life without forgetting the memory of Peter.... Please accept my condolences

 

My buddy Conor's brother Gabe lied down on the train tracks about 20 years ago. God bless him. RIP.

 

Sorry to hear this... Be strong

 

Oh man, bless his soul....

 

Yes, I’m very familiar with the feelings you’re going through, and clearly understand that time heals. It’s still hard though. You’re doing the best thing by reaching out and talking about it.

 

I am sorry to read that.
I am supporting the OP.

 

Thank you hun! You've been really sweet and I appreciate all the messages you've given me.

 

That's Ok. Best to keep private at times. x

 

I'm really bad at dealing with loss. Right now my mind.. is kinda numb.. afraid to feel things anymore. because i don't want to feel so much pain
Sorry about your brother, hugs <3

 

I've never lost anyone to suicide. I'm sorry for your loss. .Stay strong. .

 

I am so, so sorry. There are no words.

 

Agree with @rollingalong about grief counseling.

In principle, you and other members of your family that are grieving him could get therapy together.

I'm not sure if you want information about treatments or suicide-related resources, but I'd be happy to try to offer that

Hugs @Peaceful_LotusFlower

 

This is horrible. I am so sorry. There are just... no words of comfort to offer. I wish there were...

 

Sorry to hear this news. ❤️

 

Thank you for all the kind words! I truly appreciate it. I'm keeping myself busy during the day and creating lots of art. I'll share some of it when I'm ready too.

Thanks again!

 

Keep strong. I am here for you.