My boyfriend won't smoke with me

i cant remember where i found it, but i read an article that found if you experience aesthetic chills (when children sing, or a certain chord is reached, you get goosebumps/ chills) you are more open than someone who does not experience them. i cant imagine what life would be like without them, but apparently some people just dont get them, and the personality trait they are deficient in is openness.

 

the modern day perception of love can be completely wrong. most see it as it isn't. most feel it as it's not. but it's out there. it's real.

love is not an emotion. yes, it is good sense. but it's so much more. it doesn't matter if you've been heart broken, it doesn't matter if you've crashed and burned. it doesn't matter who you've loved, how you love. you can give the illusion of love to anyone. you can easily make anyone feel, like they're 'in love.' you can cuddle, you can kiss, make love, hold each other. you can give the sense of being loved. it's easy. that's where most people stop. well, they don't stop. they just give up looking. they get the illusion that that's that. y'kno?

love, is when you find yourself, in another. when you can have your alone time, with your other. it's not just, if you guys have similar tastes, similar sounds, similar interest. it's whats there. what's deep. what you can feel. i mean, ah. this is hard. but i'm trying. love, is when all walls are completely tore down, and it's just, the two of you. raw, and naked. down to the very roots. and you realize, that it's just, it's always been, just the two of you. and it will always be. something you can never, ever turn your back on. nothing you could even imagine to hurt. nothing truly hurts with love. it's all just lessons. lessons with yourself, lessons with them, lessons with everything. just, seriously. when it's you, and yourself. when it's them, and themselves. when you guys, are one. when everything is shared, every feeling, every itch, every bruise, every heart beat, every breathe, every smile, every everything. you are them. they, are you.

people will give up looking for themselves, when they get the sense of love. naturally, the human brain, will stop being interested in a person around 18 months. this is a main cause of why so many people get divorced, and ruin the beautifulness of 'marriage.' they realize, that they are not with themselves, they are not with the one whom they love. they 'fall out of love' because, frankly, they just had the sense of love. but, when you're with your soulmate. it doesn't matter if you're legally wed in any religion, any way. you already are. you're already tied down, you're rooted down, with the complete, and total bliss of your partner. of your love. your souls are truly one. just one soul.

not that many people, can truly experience such joy. such, perfection. because they're afraid to either, let themselves go, or be true to themselves. it's such a shame. 'cause love, is the greatest thing ever. the greatest state ever, the greatest feeling, experience, everything.

when you can truly, surrender yourself, give everything, give your all, and never, ever, ever give up, for someone. when you can be 2 miles, 5 miles, 500 miles, away, how ever, and you stay totally true to them. not just, 'ohhh, i didn't fool around with this guy at the bar., etcetc' but when, you can't even be yourself. without them there. when, you don't just miss them, but you miss experiencing everything with them. when being with them alone, is better than any drug, any feeling, any movie, any food, anything. just you and them. when you can sit there, and just be in the calmest, perfect, place, just by looking into their eyes. when nothing, could ever compare, to the feeling, the bliss that is everywhere, when you're together.

Love makes you feel better then pot.

stop worrying about getting high, and find love

 

I like that

aesthetic chills...

I'm sure if you were to dig around my posts, you would find me reference finding things in life that 'sing to your soul'.

 

I'm going to read this later but I'm not worrying about getting high. I'm worried that our relationship isn't going to work out because for some reason he doesn't want to smoke with or around me. I'm not worrying about like how much I want to smoke with him or something. It's about WHY I can't.

 

what we call "love" is really such an annoyingly abstract concept, a really beautiful feeling that is exclusive to humans, and i have to disagree with Tom because "love" is not always mutual, i have legitimately "loved" someone with everything i was, but they did not feel like that about me. and ppl saying that it wasnt love really is insulting to me.

however on a side note i hate the word. the actual word "love" is so cheap and worthless really; i love you, i love my mom, i love ice cream, we as people have cheapened the word to a stuffy magic word that you have to say, and its really the only word we have to describe that wonderful feeling.

i think Tom is confusing love for a regular healthy relationship, even in a relationship without love ppl need to be honest and communicate, no offense Tom, just my experience

as for the situation at hand, what its starting to sound like is that oc_loves boyfriend wants her to be his girlfriend, but doesnt really want to be a boyfriend, meaning that he definitely wants her to be around, but still want to have his own life on the side. and in my experience thats not a good sign

 

i get those all the time from wonderful music, or thinking of certain girls

 

LOL.... you CAN'T have ANY healthy relationship without love.

That includes friendships.

At least real ones.

 

floes you described love very similar to how i feel about it, some differences but very similar

 

eh thats a bit foolish, if i had love for every tom dick and harry i was friends with it would cheapen love even more.

you are confusing love with respect. love is a special thing especially platonic love

 

You and I have very different concepts of what love is...

Its too bad you feel the need to restrict it as you do.

 

its not restricting, trust me ive loved when i shouldnt have, ive had at least 2 good friendships ruined by love. i find love to be special, i dont hand it out like a flyer for my band. love can rock a foundation and shouldnt be treated so willy nilly. my opinion ofc. love is precious and it sadly has been suffering from inflation

 

I like the idea of being so full of love you are like a cup overflowing. Everything you do and everything you touch or interact with gets love, because it radiates from your soul. Admittedly, this can be difficult at times, but that's how I view it. I don't feel this cheapens love at all.

 

Love is not a finite resource that runs out or gets rarer the more you hand it out...

Those who believe it is, are restricting it from what it is.

 

I agree. :2thumbsup:

 

i dident write that, the girl who loves me wrote that for me..its about how i make her feel.

 

i suppose when you have had the experiences ive had you see things a little bit differently, while id like to live in a fairytale with pancakes made of hugs with syrup made of kisses, it unfortunately is a finite resource for me, after all the things ive done and had done to me i feel drained of some of the vibrancy of love. id like to be more of a philosopher about all this and have optimistic views but as im one of those ppl who is a bit addicted to love i realize how fickle love can sometimes be

 

you are a lucky man then

 

Yeah... just ask anyone... I live in a fairy tale made of hugs with syrup of kissess...

I have to be just about the most lovey dovey person there is on hipforums....

always going around and telling everyone how much I love them...

damn, you sure nailed me...

That optimistic views part... wow man... that one shows such insight.. you really should consider joining the psychic network...


rflmao

 

im not being a dick, chill dude, im just telling you that life and love are not alway good to yours truly, maybe im jaded though

 

Where did I say I thought you were being a dick?

I was laughing my ass off at you...

Let me try this a different way... the op should be able to gain something from this as well...

These people that you call friends, that you say you don't love... I have them too... I don't call them friends however... they are acquaintances... people I know... I know a lot of people...

I like very few...

I love even fewer...

Those that I call my friends or family (which has nothing to do with blood), are people I love... I don't limit that love to them and meter it out to them... I love them... I have respect for them... I enjoy being around them...


You cannot have love without respect. When you see someone saying something like, I love them, but I have no respect for them... THAT is what devalues love...

There are many people in the world that I respect for something that they have done or accomplished... that I don't love... simply because I don't know them...

If I were to get to know them... I may love them, depending on what type of person they were overall... or it may turn out that I despise them... but I can still have respect for whatever it was that they accomplished.

To relate this back to the op... Forget about everything everyone has said, including me, and ask yourself one simple question...

Can you see any situation in which YOU would do the same to him, if the situations were reversed?

If the answer is no, why would you stay with him?

You can't change a person into someone you want them to be. You can accept them, or not...

This doesn't mean you can't talk to him and tell him how you feel... but you can't use it a wedge or a hammer to make him change...

As you said you already tried talking to him about it and he didn't seem to care...

Walk away. He isn't the person for you.

Find someone who respects you as much as you respect them...

Oh, and if you were to answer that you would do the same as he is doing to you... then this whole thread was a waste... lol