My boyfriend found out I briefly worked as an escort in my past

Mine rides my ass all the time about being born during the "Year of the pig"... , but for the most part she's a good sport about it. I can't actually say that I ever sold it, but I spread it around quite, quite, quite liberally back in the day, which may even be worse. If it's that big of a problem, you really need to cut him loose. Everybody comes with a history, good or bad and that's part of the package. I know it may hurt initially, but it's gonna hurt a lot worse later if you stay. Do yourself a favor and walk away.

 

Not long after I began hanging out with whom is now my wife we naturally told each other the truth about ourselves. She, in her 20's was a call girl and also had bi sexual experiences. I also had sex for money with a man many times. It is always best to start with the truth or you are in for problems. The open stories that followed were great when you hide nothing.

 

He will always hold it over your head is my experience. Lotta guys say they don’t care about your past and when you download they can’t deal with it. Best course of action is don’t tell him anything or the next guy.

 

I completely disagree guys. After a few dates and if you feel you are getting serious it is very necessary to open up and tell all. Or else suffer the consequences of him or her discovering it later. In your case you'll have to ride it out. The horse is out of the barn.

 

it's a tuff call on what to tell someone, being as we all have different beliefs of what's right what's wrong whats moralely exceptable.... when i start dating someone i try and bring up the sex background because i want to know what i'm in for and i want the person i'm dating to know what i like n what i've done n what i'm willing to try... i've dated strippers, hookers, escorts, cam girls, a group of friends at one time... i've had 3,4,5 somes.... sometimes the girl gets supper intrigued about it sometimes they walk away cause it's too much.... i've just come to terms of throwing it all out there cause in the end you'll be much happier knowing if the other person is up to your lifestyle.... soooo this guys mad cause you were an escort, don't know how long you've been together but if something he's just going to hold against you i'd cut n run n find somebody is more open minded... i've dated a girl who was only with 1 other guy, n she turned into a total freak after being with me cause i told her everything n she was down to try a lot of different stuff... i've had a girl who thought she was a slut n like to say what a nympho she was... turns out she was none of that and couldn't handle the things i've done... sorry i rambled on here for a bit... be proud of being an escort girl, life experience's r awesome, n just find some like minded person if this guy can't handle it

 

I think if you are imagining a prospective date as a possible long time keeper than be 100% honest and demand the same. If you are trying to portray to be someone you are not then what's the point. It will be revealed down the road and then it all turns to shit after you get too deep.

 

very well said n much shorter than my rambling lol... but yes my point excactly

 

Folks are full of shit saying she should’ve told him before it got serious lol. When exactly to you bring this up ? It’s the kind of thing you’d only tell someone you trust AFTER it’s serious.
I used to have sex for money in college. I mention it here as an anonymous person on the internet, but very few people in real life know this about me.

In my opinion, the bottom line is lots of people will judge you harshly for it and there’s no changing their mind. It’s sad, but I don’t believe you’ll be able to continue this relationship. It’ll consume he’s weak little closed mind .

 

On about the 5th date my current wife told me she was a Vegas call girl and she dated black men exclusively for about a decade and was involved in many, many triple penetration situations with these men. On the same date I told her I sucked dick for money for 3 years before I had sex with my first girl. So we didn't judge each other at all. We actually got closer due to our honesty. 23 years strong. Actually it was the first sexually charged conversation we had and until today they continue.

 

Totally agree.

 

The chances are that he's paid for sex at some point in his life. His loss if he can't accept it.

 

At present, you are the kind of person to keep secrets, therefore deceptive and untrustworthy. The fact that you were an escort is irrelevant. You presented yourself as the fake news version of yourself. That's the problem. Likely the other issues you had were related to your lack of transparency. If you find yourself saying things like I'm not going to tell him because it might hurt our future, then you're fucked.

You could get on your knees and beg for forgiveness, promise never to hide anything again, and mean it. Or part ways and better luck next time. But you'll have to work hard on self improvement. Start with the Four Agreements.

 

You are absolutely right. It’s damned if you do and damned if you don’t.

If she doesn’t tell him because she is afraid of how he will react and then it comes out, he will say she was dishonest. If she tells him right off then he rejects her for having been an escort.

She can’t win. She can’t undo her past even if she regrets it. When Jack Nicholson said, “You can’t handle the truth!” that applies to most guys. They can’t handle it so it’s best not to tell them.

Recently my girlfriend told me about something that happened to her over ten years ago. I understood perfectly why she had never told me but at the same time she can’t go back and change it. The guy should have been grateful that she was honest with him because like my girlfriend, she could easily have kept quiet about it.

 

Never beg for a person to stay. Experience them as they do you. If they don't like something about you the door is always open. Sionara mother fucker.

 

Never beg for a person to stay. Experience them as they do you. If they don't like something about you the door is always open. Sionara mother fucker. You need to be free not imprisoned by acting the way a person wants you to act. That is no life.

 

Did you interpret me as saying "beg him to stay"?

 

Clearly. But be careful not to interpret it as " it's okay to be an asshole because that's who I am". Kindness and consideration are key components of love. Yes, you can't always "be yourself" but control yourself as part of relationship maintenance.

 

Ok here is a hypothetical. You meet an real nice girl who is hiding the fact that she is an ass hole as you describe. Wouldn't it be better if she revealed her real self from jump street. Most people don't, but it would save a lot of heart ache down the road.

 

No but when you said, "You could get on your knees and beg for forgiveness," I just surmised it meant the same.