my bf upset that i have guy friends..

Really strange. Could counseling or some sort of mediation be in the cards? I think you really need to get to the root of why it bothers him so much. You'd figure after 3 years, the trust level would be pretty set and if there were issues to begin with, they'd be gone by then.

 

He s right

 

Bullshit. I have ALWAYS had more male friends than female friends and it has never ever posed a problem in any relationship I've ever had. If feelings did arise, those involved had enough self-control to respect the other's feelings and relationship status.

 

OP if you're half way decent looking I can guarantee at least one of more of these "guy friends" have a secret desire to try and get with you. There just waiting for an opportunity, when you're drunk, or fighting fighting with your man, whatever it may be if the see an opportunity they will go for it.

And yes guys and girls can be friends but in general guys cannot be friends with women they are attracted to, because sexual desires will always be there, and they can never be true friends.

 

Yeah it's a touchy subject. Years ago I had a girlfriend with a couple close guy friends and one night when they were hanging out some how she slipped and fell on his dick.

 

this!

those darn feelings... always getting in the way.. lol
no but really.. they know i have a bf. i dont think they would try anything.

lol... im sorry...

 

those darn feelings... always getting in the way.. lol
no but really.. they know i have a bf. i dont think they would try anything.



Whether they or don't doesn't change the fact that they have those feelings. And trust one if them will try and that's when things get really awkward

 

And yet, it's so funny that I have friends who actually respect me and my husband....

 

Kinky Ramona is right, it is fine to have friends of opposite sex, if there are dudes that your friends with, it WILL cross their mind but it is all up to you what happens. If your all giggly and accepting of the odd "sexual" comment, the boys will try harder. If you hold your ground and get a little frowny when they make a sus comment they'll get the picture pretty quick. If they are good friends and don't do anything that your BF needs to be upset about then really.. He is controlling and will continue to control you. ITS ALL UP TO YOU You run your own life - Not him.

 

I'm sure you do and I lots of female friends I respect. But that's the exception, most guys in general are dogs.

 

The fact that you say these guys will try something and she has to stand her ground only proves my point that guys can never really be friends with women they are attracted too. If there's no attraction then yes guys and girls can be friends.

 

It's about trust.

Any guy or girl that becomes concerned when their respective other has other guy/girl friends has commitment and trust issues.

It's way out of line for him to say that you can't have any other guy friends, yet he's allowed to have as many female friends as he wants and can see them at will.
If that isn't being a hypocrite, then I don't know what is.

Total overreaction on his part in every sense and I don't see why you shouldn't continue the friendships with the other guys, irrespective of his belief on the matter.

And Kinky Ramona is 100% right. It's up to the friends to know and acknowledge that regardless of what they might feel for the person, they need restraint and have to know that nothing can happen.

 

The fact that someone needs to show restraint only proves that they are not really friends, bcuz given the opportunity they will make a move.

Guys need to stop lying to themselves that they are friends with women they have feelings for. Acquaintances maybe but friends no.

 

I think it's very possible for guys/girls to have friends of the opposite sex, whilst in a relationship with a respective other.
I mean, feelings or not, those friends that are of the opposite sex have to know that the person has no intention of being unfaithful or even entertaining that possibility, so if there's something there and that friend wants more, they can't and have to be put in their place and told as such.

This won't stop a guy - or even a girl in the same situation for that matter - from making a move, nor would one expect it to.
But there comes a point where they have to know that it is in vain and something that has no merit in pursuing.

 

Which is exactly why they are not true friends but merely acquaintances. A true friend would never have those kinds of thoughts in their mind.

For a women yes she can have male friends because in her mind a friend is a friend. But for a guy, that same same girl can be a friend, but if he's attracted, then she's only a friend until he gets a chance to make a move. Hence not true friends to begin.

Ladies this is how guys think so be careful around your "guy friends"

 

I generally think most of my friends are attractive people (both sexes). I wondered (very briefly) if I was shallow or something, just only liking good looking people. But I realized that most people are not ugly and people seem more attractive when you like them.

So I guess I'm attracted to most of my friends haha. Attracted like a magnet.

 

Yeah I agree with you Mike, I kind of was in a situation like this, I was getting flirty signs from a "friend" coupled with bitching about how annoying her BF was being.. Guess it is natural to feel like you may be able to "fill the void" but it dosen't really make it ok to do so. man brains really are a bit fkd up sometimes when hormones invade sensible thought processes.

 

It would no doubt vary from person to person. Some would be able to prevent advances or not attempt to advance on a person in a relationship, whereas for others, it's perhaps in their nature to attempt to hit on a person at every opportunity.

It's just about how one deals with the situation.