I found out a year ago that my bf cheated on me and I stupidly stayed with him even after he lied and lied about it before finally admitting. I now just have the feelings he's doing it again and hear rumors of it from several people. He won't admit to any of them, but he lied once so I know he is probably lying again. Why does he have this need to cheat on me and why can't he just end it with me like a good person and stop hurting me? Is there something wrong with me?
Hi Millie First the real question is why you are letting someone else make your choices for, and in you? My brother used to say, "cheating is like the difference between saying (To-May-TOE,) or (Ta=Ma-Ta)" Both are full of seeds, and expectations. To the to-may-toe cheating is not what the ta-ma-ta thinks it is. No there is nothing wrong with you that would make another choose to cheat, or embrace their own choices. As long as you stay in, and around the energy, you are drawing the lessons to you that you wish to face within yourself. Why not ask why you are still with someone you can not trust? People change. Relationships change. Commitments change, and connections change. As long as ye both shall choose to be who you are in the expectations, and walls you build around each other, there will be chaos. As long as you are coming from a place of need, and not being whole within yourself, you are not coming from your own center, and will not trust. A relationship is a connection, and communication is about truth. You can not ask the relationship to define you. What you bring to the relationship is what you offer from within your own heart space. If there is not agreement here, or the feet of one, or the other searches outside of the "YOU" then the time is long past to ask Who you are. What do you want from your own heart, and life, and where are "YOU" both going inside. Sometimes the greater love is walking away without bitterness, and anger, or doubts. Sometimes the question is are you seeking to be needed to be valued, or are you just afraid to be alone. In the end we all face ourselves, and the choices we make to ourselves, and to each other. To stay in a negitive emotional balance will wound the spirit. To seek to be whole, and true to yourself will help you become the love, and not wait for the love to make you one, and whole. So often we are living the media program that breeds co-dependance. (This says Love must do to me what I can not do for myself.) When in truth until we become love we will always be searching for what we do not find within ourselves. In this we are accountable, and responsable for the choices we make. We are than as vulnerable and as strong as we let ourselves become. Count this as a blessing, and time for inner growth. Then when loving from a whole place you will not ask is he cheating, you will ask is this connection what I want for myself, and the greater wholeness within. Believe it or not but when you come from this place of love, and wholeness, the connections you do make will shine with a beauty, and trust you can not discribe. As you love yourself, you love others. This is where wholeness is complete.
I never understood why people stay with their partners who cheat on them. If they do it once, they're going to do it again, because you stay with them and allow them to get away with it in the first place. Sometimes when you love someone, you have to let them go. Gut feelings 99.99% of the time are right... just let go... you can find someone who cares about you enough to not cheat on you.
