Most painful spanking implement for selfies

Hi. I have done something horrible and am having a very hard time not doing it anymore. I used to be spanked regularly by various disciplinarians since 2005. Some good, some bad, some very bad. My last spanking was in October 2016 when I finally had to break away from spanker and dearest friend. For certain reasons I couldn't get along with her anymore. At the time I still wanted discipline but here there were no females and due to a very bad experience I just couldn't go male. Finally that need petered off and and I stopped feeling like I needed it for things... And in fact was proud and relieved I had some "freedom" again. Until the past week or so. I started doing something awful... Which I need not divulge. Only one other person in the world knows and I intend to keep it that way. She is going to do an online rp (she'd do it rl but lives on the other side of the world) incorporating some self spanking. Mostly silent stuff as for the most part it's either going to be when my parents are asleep or I'm in their bedroom while they are doing stuff elsewhere in the house. (My health has been so bad recently that I can't live alone in my apartment). What I need though is to be able to REALLY self spank myself when no one is home. I want the most painful thing possible that is also fairly easy to wield as my muscles have atrophied. I've found a couple of thin wood paddles with small holes... Especially 1. I.. I doubt I could raise blisters but I'd honestly deserve them. Even without them those paddles hurt like hell. Worst thing I've ever been spanked with. My "2nd dad" who took care of me many years regularly caned me full force with a senior lexan cane. He's lean, but all muscle and strong as all get out. But that paddle, with him holding back, was still the worst I've ever experienced in just one swat. My friend who's doing the rp suggested a studded leather paddle. She doesn't know either what it actually feels like but thought maybe it would be easier to wield. Thoughts? Suggestions? What does a studded leather paddle feel like? I noticed a couple with holes... I really need the worst for each time I slip and do this thing again. I HAVE to stop. Thanks.

 

Well I don't know about self spanking but as far as painful implements go ... the leather paddle hurts a lot. My wife gives me punishment spankings whenever I step out of line. She usually starts with a hand spanking ( over her knees) and after awhile she switches to the leather paddle. I can barely handle the pain and often brought to tears.

 

Hi. I'm sure a leather paddle would hurt, and especially really badly at the hands of another. But this is a selfie sadly and with weak arms on my part to boot. I'm not too hopeful it would be enough. I need something that goes way beyond the kind of pain I can create with my rather large selection her at home. I'd forgotten about having a loopy johnny. Found it this morning. Never really used it... I'm going to experiment with it a bit ASAP. But I really want something I've never had... Or if I have it was the worst thing I ever experienced, as in the case of this one bamboo paddle (so both lightweight and durable) with lots of small unbeveled holes, some round, some hearts. Right now I'm leaning towards that but still want to weigh my options.

 

A really good wooden bathbrush will do the trick. Get a long handled one, and it reaches the right places for you. Once you get good at swinging it, a belt can also nicely do the trick, I have a well worn one with holes and thick leather that conforms to my skin, which is easier in self spanking