Mom has questions

i think the main point of this concern has been skipped in this thread. lets have a look:

the question is whether he is being fronted weed by dealers, or whether he actually does just owe people money, or whether he doesnt owe anyone anything and is just trying to by weed.

scenario 1) no one gets fronted drugs unless theyre desperate. the only acceptable fronting of drugs is like less than 50 bucks worth. anything above that, and the kid is clearly requiring more drugs than he can pay for, hence, more drugs than he should have. conclusion of scenario 1 = hes a weed junky (or on other drugs!) and you gotta stop him fucking himself up by gettin in shit with dealers. solution = give him enhough money presently, and be very clear to him that its the last money youll be giving him because youre not gonna put up with his "BULLSHIT" any longer.

scenario 2) hes borropwing money from friends or whatnot. what would a 19yo living at home need to borrow money for? any of the reasons would lead to a big problem, an addiction of some sort, be it drugs, gambling, etc. nothing else requires someone who doesnt pay rent or buy food to have to borrow large sums of money again and again. conclusion: its no different to being fronted drugs by a dealer; it means that hes addicted to something to the point of junkyism. solution = give him enhough money presently, and be very clear to him that its the last money youll be giving him because youre not gonna put up with his "BULLSHIT" any longer.

scenario 3: hes lying to you to get money for weed. hes a grown man. this excuse is ONLY acceptable at any level for adolescents who have school or inabilitty to get a well paying job, and are twisting the truth here and there. for a MAN, an ADULT who is out of school, to be lying to his MOTHER in order to twist her EMOTIONS, for the purpose of getting DRUGS that are for his pleasure and not health (since there isnt a physical addiction like with heroin which would render the person sick and ill and possibly near fatal in some cases). solution = just stop giving him money at all and kick him out of your house. hes a grown man for gods sake.

you know the real problem here? you are accepting the fact that he cant get a job without a drug test like its fine and dandy. as an adolescence, this would be a fine situation, however as an adult, youve fucked up if youre in that position. weed has fucked up his life. you as a mother have to decide whether its better for him to keep him happy now and keep living a fucked up life, or to kick him up the arse and make him be a man, live a life

though, being 19 hes not that far into caus i guess in america hes not even able to drink. over here, 18 means youre an adult, so teh culture difference might make it more acceptable.

and people say weed cant fuck up your life....

here we have an adult who lies ot his mum to manipulate her emotions to get drugs, cant get a job, doesnt have a place of his own..

either that or hes a victim.. a victim of drug addiction.

either way, hes been fucked up, and maybe if people realised this is the sorta shit that can happen to people, then the solutions would be clearer

 

I wouldn't go as far to say weed alone ruined his life, but more that his choice of using weed in a society full of stigmatisms and laws against weed is adding difficulty in his life. If you take away the social and legal factors, it's a rather innocuous habit that doesn't impede the success of many.

Almost a million people were criminalized last year in the US under the current prohibition. 800,000 with some 600,000 being possession charges.

 

man, it doesnt have to affect 2% of people badly to still be considered able to fuck you up. nothing in life is the result of a single factor. absolutely nothing! of course other factors contributed to his predicament, however the root of this persons problems are their dope smoking. needs money. why? caus he smokes lots of weed. cant get a job. why? caus he smokes lots of weed.

 

I won't argue with that at all. if he didn't smoke this post wouldn't exist, and the mom would be happy. Or maybe something else would bring negativity? What if he is just lazy?

But millions of people smoke, and it is not going to change. It's like a human condition. So either society will adapt and learn to tolerate and coexist with a large percentage of its population, or stories like this will continue to happen and be blamed on smoking cannabis.

 

I know a 19 year old guy just like the one described in this thread - and it doesn't so much "fuck up" his life really, just makes him be very idle. The way his parents sorted it was by putting their foot down: "We don't mind you smoking weed but you pay for it and whats more you're 19 and we want some money towards the bills and such". Be firm and not let him win you over is my best advice.

 

so what if theyre blamed on cannabis? whats wrong with blaming cannabis? if there is no blame of cannabis then cannabis is perfect. so say that something in our human world is perfect is ludicrous. nothing is perfect. nothing causes no harm. absolutely nothing!

why should cannabis be faultless??? its doesnt change what it is, all it is is a perspective. and no non-stoner is gonna take stoners seriously if they claim that weed is perfect. because nothing in the world is perfect.

its better off for stoners everywhere if the faults of weed can be DEFINED and not AVOIDED. because only then can you actually relate it to anything serious

 

I agree with StonerBill, give him enough money for now. and then tell him he's cut off.
If he owes someone weed money the worst case here is that he is going to lose a source and get the shit beat out of him.
and maybe pissing blood for a few days will mature him up some.

sounds harsh yes but hundreds at a time is a lot of money. nothing like the 10 or 20 bucks I'd bum every few weeks when I lived at home. And i moved out when I was 18. And even then the rule was no school no money (I work now).

 

is that what you do to your mum? leech significant sums off her when youve got no reason to not get a job besides the fact youd rather keep taking drugs? if it was 'just weed' then he should have no problem with just not smoking or borrowing money until he gets a job.

 

StonerBill: never mind... Mods, delete this

 

ok...first off...borrowing money from your parents at any age to buy ANYTHING that they don't want you to buy...candy, weed, whatever...it's their money and they're being nice enough to trust you to use it on what you say....so follow...I never used my parents money on weed...I got a job

And that excuse of "Drug tests" is COMPLETE bullshit...on top of their being all sorts of detoxes on the market...there's also this thing called quitting...If he can't quit for a month and get a job, and then wait until he gets his first paycheck to blow on weed and learn something about fucking around with your own money...then he has a problem.

I smoke pot...I have a job at a place that attaches a letter to every paycheck that says, "Drugs Don't Work Here" (among other things...but this applies) so that is the lamest excuse I've ever heard...

You need to put your foot down.

Look...there's responsible pot smokers, and there's irresponsible ones...just like anything else, pot, alcohol, porn, whatever...there's people who can use it problem free, and there's those who have problems.

I am an honors student, I plan on graduating early, I have a job, I bought my own car, I am president of my school's environmental club, I am a pretty well liked kid whether it be my teachers or my peers, I'm nice to everyone, I never stress...I'm that way with or without weed...and if your son can't be positive with or without, then weed has stopped being a fun thing that your son does and has become your son...

He needs to quit...straighten his life out and then when he DESERVES and has EARNED leisure and fun...he can have it. All work and no play is not the way to live...and neither is all play and no work.

 

Don't push blame man, just offer solutions...

It doesn't matter who's to blame...the situation is occuring...think of solutions...that's a fucking problem in todays world...we spend so much damn time blaming stuff (Even in this case weed in a way) that we forget to offer solutions...it's alright to place blame and how to counter it...but just to blame without help is just shitty.

She's a mother who's actually concerned about her son and wants to help...so now offer her your help.

 

you people should learn from this man! personal integrity that is! and all you gotta do is be ignorant

 

i bow my head in shame

 

please kick him out, for all of us who try to give marijuana a good name

 

its not about you, its about him. dont be so selfish. heaps of people around here pull that bs, 'please stop taking these drugs, its fucking you up and we dont want to be associated with you, please go be fucked up on something else'

 

besides, stoners already have a bad name. Plus, this here is an actual real life problem someone has with weed. Not just made up propoganda, it's a real person, who needs help. So it's something good to talk about, if only for those involved...which if you think about it is all that's important.

Now, this kid may not be addicted, I don't know the situation. But I know that at the very least he sees he has a sweet deal getting money for nothing to buy weed with. So why would he stop? The problem is if he keeps drifting like this, no job, no responsibility, he's gonna wreck his life. At 19 it's still not a huge deal, but in a few years he's gonna be completely lost. As a mother, I think you have a responsibility to give him some rules and make him be responsible. Someday he'll have to stand on his own two feet, he'd better start learning how.
Tell him that he get's a job, or he must get out of the house. Because as it is he's being incredibly unfair to you.

 

Sure, this kid probably thinks he's fine in this stoned life of his. He's past he point of realisation that he is fucked i'd say. Cut off his money and he'll go insane for a week or two, cut his money get him a girlfriend and he'll be happy as a lamb freed from the slaughterhouse

 

some people in this thread are rediculous.

okay. concerned mom? your son is fucking himself over. 19 years old sitting around your house borrowing hundreds of dollars to support his habbit isnt just lame, its unmanly. tell him to go buy some fake piss and get himself a fucking job, or get out of the house. my god if i had a kid like this he would find himself out on the street in seconds.

and some people in this thread, nah this entire fucking forum, cant admit that theres anything possibly wrong with weed. this is a rediculous notion as its something that nearly tore apart my family about five years ago and it's doing the same to this lady's son. dont be so pro pot that you cant believe anything that could possibly be negative about marijuanna. not everything u see in pot ads are false, as this lady's 19 year old son is showing us.

tell him to quit giving bullshit excuses for not getting a job and if he doesnt end up with one he's out. he can go mooch off his friends or dealers for food and housing, who gives a shit, cause he's obviously not deserving of your rediculous amounts of generosity.

 

I couldn't put it any better. Lots of wisdom wielded in the above paragraph... especially for a 16 year old!

 

Yes, much happier

And I also agree with Jojoeyes...there's side-effects to pot definately...yet, there's side-effects to everything...and people need to realize that...