since i have no one to talk to in real life at this present time, these are all the problems that are going through my head, if anyone cares... ok, so some of you know that i just lost my scholarship. that's a pretty big deal for me. this means that two things can happen with my life at this point in time. if my teachers are sympathetic enough, they will remove those failing grades from my record, then maybe i can get my scholarship back. this would call for a total change in my life because if that were to happen, i wouldn't get another chance if i were to fuck it up. it would be like a message from god or something. i could continue with my education and be content. but if i don't get it back, i've been thinking about taking the road to hippiedom... . if there is such a thing. things are way too stressful in my life right now. college in general is too stressed out. i want to try to live the stress-free lifestyle, try that out for a while and see how it goes. i think i want to move out of miami. the sooner the better... somewhere up north maybe, like NYC. because, if you think about it like i'm thinking about it... i don't need a degree to do what i want to do. i don't need to spend $15,000 in loans each year to play in a band. schooling and education is all well and good, and in no way am i advocating dropping out of school... but i'm starting to think that it's really not for me. in other words, i don't need it to get the career choice that i want. so all i need to do i think, is tell my mother that i'm looking to start over. maybe she'll fund me for the first part, until i can get my feet on the ground in my new place, and just start rebuilding my life. but i won't know for sure about the scholarship for another week or so... i'm just so confused, i wish i weren't so lonely and i had someone to speak to about this. but if you read through all this drama, i applaud you.
you would make an awesome hippie, miami i mean education is totally what everyone's first priority seems to be these days, certainly not mine, but if you want to go do that, just do it an enjoy yourself.. you're never too old to learn (CORNBALL i know. heh ) by the way, i don't think my dad spends more than $15,000 a year on everything including rent,food, utilities, all that stuff. hahah you'll get along somehow. don't worry. it'll all work out.
If you aren't ready for school, you simply aren't ready and you aren't doing anyone any favors by spending the time and money when you are not into it...... It might not be a bad idea to at least take time off...maybe if you did go to ny and work for a while, you could get some direction on what you want to study, or what you want to pursue. One thing kind of struck me about your post though quote: " if there is such a thing. things are way too stressful in my life right now. college in general is too stressed out. i want to try to live the stress-free lifestyle," i would say that college can be LESS stressful than the outside world...its like living in a bubble. I'd say its a good idea to get out of Miami too.
indeed, the real world can be stressful... but it's like, in college there's ALWAYS something to think about. some paper that's due in a week. a test that's coming up. or that class that i don't really need that i'm failing. things like that i don't have to think about. bills, relationships, all those are normal things to stress about. but if i'm just going to do the music thing, it's like i'll enjoy what i'm doing for the most part. but you are definitely right, i really feel the need to get the hell out of here.
I'm with you, I don't miss college at all...not the school work anyway Go to NY, its in a musical resurgence there right now and its in the north
Babylon’s walls could fall in one hour..... Miami, ask your self... are you going to collage and continuing on with school to become some "thing" that you truly love?, or is it so people around u can easily classify u as some one who has "done something" with there life?.... you see, you need to ask your self a question... will school fulfill who I am as a person, who you are as a soul, will i reach a place of happiness with this artificial life and money? And “respect” from society… Respect your self love your self. Do what you do for YOURSELF not others. Let your spirit seek its true destination, seek for the truth and truth shall be clear.
that's the kind of soul searching that i'll be doing in this next week as i wait for these professors to get back to me. and i have thought about this in the past. i've never been one of those folks who want to play pop music and make millions while being popular. i'm only in school for music because that's what i do. it's what i love, and it's what i know. and that's why i've been asking myself if it's worth paying all this money to do it. i can just as easily play music outside of school, without paying all the extra cash and without taking the bullshit classes (like english and calculus) that have nothing to do with my major.
Let the music come from your soul, your spirite and your heart, not from the school living a beautiful full life playing your soul music, doing what YOU do
miami, you've got lots of talent. i know it might seem kinda scary to 'go hippie' but i really think you would be happier. the structure of college is just too confining for some. just try it, you might like it
not scary at all... in fact, i'm looking forward to it. i'm almost thinking about just giving up trying to get the scholarship back. i know that i should try, people say that it's the effort that counts. i'll stick in there until i feel like it's not going to work out, or until my dean tells me i won't be gettin it back.
Miami...I just stumbled upon this thread. We've known eachother for over 2 1/2 years and it hurt me that you felt you couldn't come talk to me about this. I know I havent seen you in a while but I had no idea what exactly was going on in your life. You're not alone, everyone thinks your the shit and you know we'll support you whatever you do. I LOVE YOU!
yo we need to chill, i haven't seen you online in a bit... let me know when you are down, you should stop by jeff's place tonight...
