Message Boards And Regulation.

On one message board I once belonged to, it was the moderators who were the worst behaved. Aren't the moderators supposed to set the tone?

We need oversight of message boards by the FCC. And then, as a last resort, penalties for non-compliance.

 

I moderate a Discord server with a handful of other folks, and the other mods are some of the meanest and pettiest bullies I've ever known.

I'm assuming this is supposed to be some kind of satire, right?

 

It wasn't always like this on the internet. In the beginning when everything was new and exciting, people were far kinder and more tolerant.

The trolls appeared after a few years because people could suddenly say whatever, with complete anonimity.

It seemed that it coincided with the growth of online gaming communities which encouraged players to interact and insult each other. That carried over to other social networks where people weren't engaged in virtually killing each other, but were having fun socializing with strangers.

Then the other social networks got bigger and bigger and could no longer moderate their sites properly. Then came the spammers and hackers and foreign actors spreading their propaganda who also need moderation.

And so it's no wonder the US elected a misoginist, racist liar, the ultimate troll! It was bound to happen.

 

This next one has to do with the internet, and my experiences that led to what I said above. So I thought I'd share it here:

You know, it's funny. I was just talking to a friend of mine now. About when I first went on the internet about 20 years ago, first at libraries, then when we got our PC in 2002. And I couldn't believe how obnoxious people were on the internet. They insulted me, at the drop of a hat. They said hateful things to me. One guy told me he wasting his time even insulting me. "Then don't do it" I should have said. Do charity instead, like Lt. Commander Data says in Déjà Q, Stardate: 43539.1, Original Airdate: 5 Feb, 1990. Anyways, I now realize the vast majority of criticisms and insults I received were undeserved.

But I was talking to my friend today. And I told him, I formulated two rules, on what I might tell these people. Not official rules I ever decided live by, not opinions today, because like I said, it was about 20 years ago. And these were my private thoughts, so the wording is a little more coarse (my thoughts are coarser than my words, did you know that?) But anyways, these were my two rules of living in order of importance. As I said, I just wanted to share them:

1.) If someone has some obnoxious opinion of me, they should keep it to themselves. Unless they are absolutely, absolutely certain I must know. Then...

2.) If they absolutely must tell me. They should do so in the most discreet, polite way possible.

As I said, I think this is the first time I wrote them down.

 

Members are not allowed to post personal insults. Repeated insults will result in permabans. You can report posts, personal messages, wherever there's a report link.

 

BTW, I just thought now, if I came up with new "rules", for message boards. This on correcting someone in public. If you do have to correct someone in public, and this is more general. I don't think people really ever have to correct me at all (I now realize in the past they were being obnoxious). But if you have to give someone correction, immediate correction, do it this way:

Say it indirectly. Allow me to explain. When I was a little boy, I had a tendency to stare. So adults would sometimes say things like "Oh, do you want this seat, little boy?" My point is, you never have to be obnoxious. Or correct someone in public. And if you must, must correct someone, there are always other ways to do it.

 

I was also going to say about message boards, and this is more generally. Sometimes the mods (and others) like to ban you, etc. by hiding behind the rules. But the moral of the play "The Merchant of Venice" is that when you hide behind the rules, then the rules can be used against you (cf. Shylock).

 

I certainly agree with you on that one. Without CORRECT moderation, it becomes a free for all and idiots just log on to insult other members. The decent ones jump ship and the whole lot ends up like a bar brawl.
I enjoy logging onto HF and chatting to everyone, knowing that I am going to get a decent and honest reply, even if we don't agree on things like running around with guns.

 

From what I have heard from a few female members, I think the horny brigade are blissfully unaware of that one.
An older female member (ex mod), admitted that when she saw my name come up on a DM, her first reaction was "here we go". She was actually quite surprised that I was simply advising on her medication for a rare combination of conditions. Needless to say, I emphasised that she should discuss my advice with her consultant first.

 

I have to share this one. I think this is probably the last thing here. One time in 1988, I was taking an English composition class at a local commuter college. And we were sharing a one-page essay we all wrote in small groups.

I shared mine. It said, God helps those who help themselves. In other words, God is real. Prayer is real. But sometimes we pray just to have God give us a little extra push. Seriously, that's all it said. I didn't even use swear words (and our teacher, Miss K, told us swears were okay anyways in her class). Then this middle aged Southern woman in my group literally almost screamed when I read it.

So later at home I reread the essay several times. Finally I thought, I did make a small quip. Non an insult, not even a joke. Just a very short quip on televangelists at the time. If you remember, back then they were being exposed for be hypocritical and immoral. I thought maybe she was the one person in the country who supported these evil people.

As that last one shows, sometimes what you say just offends literally one person in the nation. And I am beginning to think she was just being obnoxious on purpose (she was very nice to me otherwise, though). But we can't avoid offending everyone all the time. That's impossible.

EDIT: I'll add this last one as an "edit". All my life I have known you shouldn't insult people or hurt their feelings deliberately. If someone's relative died because an apple tree fell on him, you shouldn't talk about apple trees around them. For perhaps a year? Who knows why. You certainly shouldn't joke about apple trees around them for over a year. I knew these things by age 2-4. Hozier says in "Take Me To Church" you are never to giggle at a funeral. As the song points out, who knows why. Even if you just stop in to use the bathroom. And you know, people have told me things like, but when YOU do it ("you", I'm serious) it sounds worse. Others shouldn't talk about apple trees. You. Never even bring up the color red. (As I said, I now realize I have had SPD all my life. And people knew it. That is often why they treated me differently.)

Anyways, on another message board, they told me I was guilty of homophobia, even though they knew I was gay, because I was being too nice to Elton John in a thread. They eventually told me really, the fact I am gay, was what creeped them out. And then they started telling me that my information (on a light-hearted trivia section-?) was inaccurate. I explained to them it was. And they said, that rule, that correct information was incorrect when I used it was a rule that applied only to me. And from now on they want citation for EVERYTHING I post. I later found out they just wanted to ban me. One doctor seemed to indicate (because he knew I'd read what he posted) it was because like another poster, they thought I might have something intellectually wrong with me.

I'm still going to try to be careful what I post online, not to offend. But after that last one, I am not going to always believe it's my fault. Nine times out of ten people are lying to me. Yeah, nine times out of ten. I think that will be my new rule.

(More to my edit:

Also you know, over the years, I have been accused variously and occassionally (at times) of being transcendental neo-nazi quasi-Stalinist satanists infanticidal necrophiliac who likes dead baby jokes. (When I was a small kid, the neighborhood kids thought I liked a vampire movie too much. I told them, it was a nice film. They should see it.) But what they really meant is I need a little help. Just a little. With my social skills. Don't we all?

And "transcendental neo-nazi quasi-Stalinist..." I have been accused of that since I was a kid as I said. THAT is how they explained it to me? I've never used hate speech. I hesitate to use swear words (though I have no problem with them). "Transcendental neo-nazi quasi-Stalinist..." Maybe THEY are the ones with poor social skills?)

 

Also sometimes I just don't even know what people are talking about. People with SPD like me have problems judging social interaction. I think people with autism do too. When I say that I think WWII led to advances in human rights, people say I'm endorsing the Holocaust. I definitely don't support the Holocaust and I didn't even mention it in that statement. And other people on the boards have said that same thing, on human rights and WWII. But they don't accuse them of being antisemites or supporting the Holocaust. And then people say I'm a necrophilic proletariat parasite neo-fascist postmodern Stalinist for saying that about WWII/human rights. And I know, oh, they are just being childish then. Then someone else on the boards says, don't listen to them. Your comments on humans rights were indelicate. And they could be seen by some, as insensitive to Jewish people. And then I am confused again.

Also, I might as well add here, on rudeness in general, rather than start a new thread. But I think it fits here. Businesses never respond to my emails or messages. There's nothing wrong with my messages certainly. Why would there be? And even if I ask a question, even if I say it's urgent, they never respond. I'm serious. Charities always respond to your messages. So do relatives and others that don't even have to. Maybe there has to be a law, or at least rule, that says businesses must respond. What do you think? Sometimes people are just rude to everyone, people often tell me. Also, this man who used to help me clean said I don't look odd to people outwardly. Which is odd. For a while, all the businesses said I sounded odd when I talked to them. The question wasn't odd. Just the way I asked. One lady told me I asked her too fast. I asked a postal employee a perfectly legitimate postal question. And he told me I was calling the post office just to talk to him. I'm serious. People told me I was calling him too late at night. That was their business hours at the time. What does that have to do with anything? Then for a while I had this weird receipt thing going in my life. Everyone everywhere at the same time in my life, businesses IOW. Everyone at that time thought I might be intellectually disabled and hiding it. And cashiers thought I didn't know when you get the receipt. I have to finish the transaction first, they kept telling me. Then I kept saying "when you're done" of course. One lady told me she would have to see what I was buying before she gave me the receipt. Do I really look that dumb to people?

 

I think I'm a little confused. At what stage do you expect to be given a receipt?

 

Thanks for sharing about your schizoid personality disorder. You've got to be one of the most prolific thread-starters on HF--which is a good thing! Also, most of your posts are provocative--stimulating interesting discussions--which is even better! Sometimes I disagree strongly with what you post, and let you know it! Not being aware of your diagnosis and sensitivity to criticism, I assume we're just having an normal exchange of opinions. "Assume" is known to make an ass of you and me. I haven't been diagnosed with anything yet, but I suspect some on HF might consider me to be an asshole (not a category in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual). I've even sometimes been charged (unfairly, of course) with making ad hominem attacks. Now that I know your sensitivities, I'll try to be more diplomatic. But spirited discussions are what I'm here for. I'm glad you're here as a sparring partner, but will go lightly if you prefer !