Mental anguish dealing with someone's death.

Discussion in 'Mental Health' started by Pete's Draggin', Jul 7, 2018.

  1. Pete's Draggin'

    Pete's Draggin' Visitor

    Well....
    Today's the day.
    One year ago today, 850pm my loving wife, Misty passed away.

    I ordered her a bouquet of flowers yesterday. I'll pick them up today and put them next to her urn.

    I'm gonna spend time at the zoo and sit on her memorial bench with her keepsake remains candle. Read some love letters from high school she wrote me.

    The Good news is.....

    I've come so far in so little time.
    Back to my comedic self
    My home is how I like it.
    My feel great in my new clothes and shoes
    Love my hair style, health and body physique
    My employment is satisfying
    Boxing dissipates any stress and anxiety.
    Dancing gives me joy and excitement.
    My 4 golden girls are healthy and happy.
    Little pete is healthy and cooing
    Motorcycle riding makes me feel free again.
    Helping others is even more gratifying
    Creativity continues to prosper

    I'm perfectly happy with being single and independent. Sleeping alone is completely relaxing and meditative.

    Meeting, going out and having fun with beautiful women has been better than ever expected.

    I've come to realize that dealing with death and the mental anguish that comes with it can be overcome. It's a process that is different and difficult on so many levels for everyone.

    After Misty died I started looking down a barrel, but with counseling, family and friends support (hf friends included) I started looking up to how precious life is and by me not being on this earth would bring mental anguish to someone else........

    Love you M
    Your bubs P
    20190604_053708.jpg
    20190604_053645.jpg
    20190604_053751.jpg
     
  2. GLENGLEN

    GLENGLEN Banned

    Messages:
    27,031
    Likes Received:
    6,515
    Tis Beautiful.....Your 12 Months Has Been Most Productive......May The Next 12 Months

    Be Even More So.....:persevere:



    Cheers Glen.
     
  3. eggsprog

    eggsprog anti gang marriage HipForums Supporter

    Messages:
    11,367
    Likes Received:
    2,861
    Who's cutting onions this early in the morning?

    But seriously, I'm glad you're doing well.
     
  4. Driftrue

    Driftrue Banned

    Messages:
    7,860
    Likes Received:
    6,354
    Oh, Pete, that is Misty?
    What an absolutely beautiful lady.
    I'm proud of you for keeping on.
     
    Pete's Draggin' likes this.
  5. Pete's Draggin'

    Pete's Draggin' Visitor

    That is her. :)
    Thank you:)
     
  6. YouFreeMe

    YouFreeMe Visitor

    <3 you brought tears, Pete. Thinking of you and Misty today.
     
    Pete's Draggin' likes this.
  7. Pete's Draggin'

    Pete's Draggin' Visitor

    A few weeks ago the landscape LED light that would shine on Misty's magnolia tree started to intermittently flicker randomly.

    I then figured I'd troubleshoot the flickering to see if it was the LED bulb or the landscape light housing. I took one of the other identical LED bulbs that would light normal on another bush and replaced it with the flickering bulb.

    Problem fixed no flickering....it was a bad bulb.

    Days go by and the bulb I just replaced started to intermittently flicker randomly again. Now I'm thinking it's the landscape housing.
    I put the chore of replacing the landscape light housing on the back burner for a few days.

    A few nights ago I was walking out (100 feet) to the mailbox at night. The landscape light was on and lighting Misty's magnolia tree normally. As I pass the her magnolia tree the landscape light starts intermittently flickering randomly again.
    I stop walking and watch........I pause.........it flickers.....I watch.

    I say "Misty is that you"?...... the landscape light stays on. I then walk a few more feet away......then the landscape light flickered. I was frozen speechless. I say "Misty that is you"
    The light flickered and continued to flicker as I walked back to the front door. As I walked into the house I kept looking over my shoulder.... and the light stopped flickering.

    Once inside the house I looked at Misty's memorial picture and told her she can play with her light and speak to me as much as she wants. I love it

    Tears started to flow.

    I've been watching the landscape light every night for the past few nights. It flickers once in a while. It puts a smile on my face everytime and I talk to Misty when it does flicker.

    I'm not going to fix the landscape light housing because I want and desperately need to believe it's Misty speaking to me and having fun playing with her light shining on her magnolia tree.
    v
    20190817_204942.jpg

    As I wrote this post from my bed looking out at Misty's lit magnolia tree........
    the light flickered.
     
  8. guerillabedlam

    guerillabedlam _|=|-|=|_

    Messages:
    29,419
    Likes Received:
    6,296
    Moving story Pete's Draggin'
     
    Pete's Draggin' likes this.
  9. Each passing moment, and each person is forever. Whether it's Misty making it flashing or not, the reminder that she is in your heart is real, and that is what is truly important.
     
  10. Driftrue

    Driftrue Banned

    Messages:
    7,860
    Likes Received:
    6,354
    thank you sharing, Pete. hugs to you.
    Andy said what I would have said better than I could have said it.

    i believe we can always reach people.
     
    Pete's Draggin' likes this.
  11. Aerianne

    Aerianne Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

    Messages:
    37,095
    Likes Received:
    17,162

    That's beautiful, Pete!
     
    Pete's Draggin' likes this.
  12. Pete's Draggin'

    Pete's Draggin' Visitor

    Misty would've turned 46 today.
    2nd birthday since she passed.

    Its getting easier for me.
    Just picked up her flowers and lit her candle.
    Beautiful sunny day

    Hope everyone can take a second/minute and remember loved one(s) that have passed.

    20191007_110236.jpg
     
    mysticblu21, Driftrue, Orison and 5 others like this.
  13. Eric!

    Eric! Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

    Messages:
    23,130
    Likes Received:
    26,127
    Holy smokes, that’s an amazing story Pete! Hey, the landscape lighting...was that one of your tasks Misty left on the “to do list?”
     
    Pete's Draggin' likes this.
  14. Pete's Draggin'

    Pete's Draggin' Visitor

    No.

    When we had our final long talk, we discussed some things she could do in nature or some other spiritual way to let me know that she was around.
    Like:
    A butterfly that would land on me
    A cardinal by the window or doorstep
    A lone hooty hoot (morning dove) feeding
    A reflection in the kitchen window
    Her picture tilted a little sideways
    A candle that blew itself out

    We couldn't come up with anything that would be something that really meant it was her.

    We didnt discuss or bring it up any more. Misty just said "Pete, you'll figure it out and you'll know its me"
     
    Meliai and Eric! like this.
  15. Eric!

    Eric! Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

    Messages:
    23,130
    Likes Received:
    26,127
    That’s awesome!!!
     
    Pete's Draggin' likes this.
  16. Aerianne

    Aerianne Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

    Messages:
    37,095
    Likes Received:
    17,162

    That's such a beautiful tribute to your beautiful Lady!
     
    Pete's Draggin' likes this.
  17. newbie-one

    newbie-one one with the newbiverse

    Messages:
    9,265
    Likes Received:
    1,614
    Sounds not too far from a light that flickers...
     
  18. Candy Gal

    Candy Gal Lifetime Supporter

    Messages:
    0
    Likes Received:
    47
    Thank-you for the link Pete.
    Yes, it made me cry too.
    Bless you, for linking me.
     
    Pete's Draggin' likes this.
  19. Pete's Draggin'

    Pete's Draggin' Visitor

    Tuesday January 23rd 2018 I found Misty in bed having a violent seizure. It was the day that marked her sands of time running out.

    She passed almost 6 months later.

    I knew the date was coming up soon after January 1st 2020.
    Its amazing and a relief I just remembered now and after the fact it was 2 days ago.

    It shows I'm moving on and she's not in my constant headspace. She's giving me thumbs up.


    My thoughts are to peaceful Lotus flower in her mental anguish dealing with her brother Peter's death. I wish him peace with his decision and her moving on without him.
     
  20. You're a shining light. I love what you wrote. You're the type of person we should all aspire to be.
     
    Pete's Draggin' likes this.

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice