my wife and I have been married 24 yearsit. Sex was always a big part of the relationship. Always hot, adventurous etc. It was spontaneous, almost always initiated by her, I was ever ready and still am. Some times Id try and even if she wasn’t wanting to she’d be like ok, hurry up....and it would just be a quick thing to make me shut up, which i appreciated. having said all that, there was never any cuddling before after o Frequency was once a week or more, probably 7 or 8 times a month anyway. She went through menopause and the frequency dropped. Once a month maybe. Went 45 days between the last 2. She tried hormones briefly but it made her crazy and she stopped. I’ve done a lot of reading, and i know it’s natural for this to happen. But it triggers lots of insecurity in me. With the loss in frequency I Find myself wishing even harder for at least those other kinds of physical contact that she’s never liked. Still no though. . We are starting to talk about it a little, I know that’s key No I’m not gonna cheat or leave her, just venting here. My logical side understands but my inner self feels really sad about the loss of what we had and sad at the prospect of my sex life continuing to evaporate
Same here. My wife went through the menopause some time ago and penatrative sex became very painful for her also her sex drive dropped. For a long time she allowed penetration with lots of lube but I knew she wasn't enjoying as she never had an orgasm. We now concentrate on mutual masturbation to achieve orgasm with occasional penetration. We also enjoy oral from time to time.
My wife went through menopause and was able to find a gyn that knew what marriage without satisfactory sex was like. My wife was started on a vaginal suppository that has done wonders. Took about three months to become effective. The hormones in these are just topical and not in her bloodstream. She got the vaginal ridges back that always drive me wild, stretch in her pussy without pain and she has organisms again. They are very expensive but cheaper than a hooker. Most gyn are now against any type of hormone replacement therapy that circulates throughout the body as it increases the risk of the big "C".
I'm still going through menopause. It's rough. Guys, don't think that just because your wife is a woman that she somehow magically knows how to navigate these waters successfully. She needs help. I got mine from a homeopathic female doctor. We did many tests. It took me two years to find and maintain my hormonal balance, but that was the key. Once I was in balance, my sexual desires skyrocketed. Make no mistake this one takes patience.
The menopause is what separates men from women and this may be a good reason for woman to settle down and start a family earlier where as it is also a good opportunity for men to spend their time becoming a good provider before becoming a penis and not concerning themselves with becoming a penis until they can support their own sperm.
I'm looking forward to menopause, then everyone can quit bitching at me to have children and I can just be grumpy and have an excuse.
Tough road to navigate, I have a super high libido and I am ready to go every day and can go multiple times per day. We had always been very active and on the days we didn't I did. We have had vacations where we had sex multiple times every day. During menopause there was a period of time when she kind of had the attitude that she was done with sex...tense time and during a conversation I told her if there is no intimacy then we are room mates not husband and wife. I guess that struck a nerve because she started putting effort in after that. She lost interest but is still accommodating. We are pretty regular at once a week, she tries and i get her worked up but it is very hard for her to orgasm. One thing I read is it is important for a woman to be sexually active because things change from lack of use and the pain will get even worse if she abstains for long periods of time making it even worse when she does try. Good luck
The experience is different for everyone. Although it is common for a woman to lose the urge, or for the urge to increase in others, or for it to go away and come back in a couple of years, be patient. No one can know the course of your wife's journey forward at this point. Her interest in sex isn't necessarily gone forever, but it may be. Rather than just waiting patiently, I can recommend that you both read a book that was recommended to me by a couple's therapist who specializes in sexual matters: "Better than I Ever Expected, Straight Talk about Sex after Sixty," by Joan Price. Buy the book. Offer to let your wife read it first, and then read it yourself. It's an excellent book written mainly for women, but you'll find it helpful to your understanding as well. Joan Price is highly respected as an author, and it's a sex-positive book.
