"Men and women are Different"

Uh, actually you did state they "should live a certain way." Allow me to quote you:

Note in particular the underlined section. Seems to me as though you either don't know WTF you're saying, or you're backtracking now.

Regardless, if that is your "belief," then you have a very limited experience base from which to operate, since I and many people I know have never been happier with our lifestyles and the relationships we've formed. You go on believing what you like. Those of us who live in the real world know what our experiences are, and you don't get to invalidate those because you'd like them to not be true.

 

SHOULD does not mean you have to. You should wear your seatbelt, eat your vegetables and recycle but no one holds a gun to your head and makes you do those things.

 

I think more people should pursue selfish hedonistic lifestyles and maybe the world would chill the fuck out.

 

God damn, you're a fucking idiotic moron. I quoted a post where you said, "I never said they should live a certain way," and then quoted one where you said EXACTLY THAT. I never said anything about you having the ability to force anyone to live that way, but your statement is telling people you believe you know best how they should live (which is what my original question to you was about). Your too stupid to keep track of the subject of the discussion, even.

Fucking idiot.

 

wow, name calling.

edit. you're nitpicking, I SHOULD have used a different verb in the first case or changed the sentence to say: I think MEN and women would be happier if they start acting in a more respectful way and stopped pursuing selfish, hedonistic lifestyles

Second, you open relationship people are incredibily defensive. Why is that?

 

It's not "nitpicking." If you mean one thing and say something else, what are we supposed to do, read your mind? You got busted for lying, just admit it and go on about your business.

 

I'm just happy to point out that I'm not involved in this "war" in any way

 

You're fucking priceless. You've pulled this shit a few times. You denigrate the people in open lifestyles, going as far as calling them "diseased", suggesting they're a "hideous slice of humanity" and basically reducing them to scum.. and then you expect them to be civil? With you? Are you kidding?

 

Bingo!

 

There's about a 100% chance of boredom when you always do the safest possible thing. I call that risky behavior.

You're in your fifth month here. For nearly four years, I've been saying consistently that nothing in life is risk-free, and I've posted very honestly about all kinds of specific sex-related issues in quite a bit of detail, in various L&S forum sections, in the Hedonism section, and in Random Thoughts. There's no way I can summarize those hundreds of posts in a small amount of space. However, just last week, Xxaru was sort of calling me out for being what he considered to be too cautious when it comes to STD's and condom usage.

I'll go down your whole list:

We didn't have a lot of problems. It was a safer, more controlled environment than most single people probably have for hooking up. We only dealt with strangers and public settings on beach trips like spring break and fall break. Off campus, I usually cut back considerably on what I was willing to do. But I still had friends with me who had my back, and I was doing the same for them.

I see no evidence of a high divorce rate among swingers. That seems to be much more of a problem for people who cheat behind their spouse's back. I've always said that dishonesty is a relationship killer. When somebody makes the decision to cheat, there is already a problem of some sort in the marriage. The actual cheating is merely a symptom.

There's an active thread right now discussing condoms. It's a complicated subject that any single person has to deal with, one way or another.

I pulled most of my wild shit when all the most common STD's were easily curable, and condom use was rare. My friends and I caught our share of stuff. Sometimes on Monday mornings, I would go in the campus clinic, look around the waiting room at familiar faces, and think "I know why you're here!" In more recent years, I got much better at safe sex. Now I'm only fucking trusted people who have shown me STD test results. That's the safest sex of all.

All my close friends have always been pro-choice.

I don't know what the hell this has to do with anything. Comparing casual sex and a serious, adult, emotional relationship is apples and oranges. No one should confuse the two.

Any more questions? :toetap05:

Trust me, you don't want to hear from me when you post about staring at your wife like some creepy Anthony Hopkins character in a horror movie. Maybe it works for you in person, but it doesn't read well in print. It just makes me think, "restraining order".

Until now, you haven't been asking specific questions, just making assumptions about everyone.

I guess I get a free pass on that one, since I've only been married a year. The data is inconclusive.

Whenever you go into a forum section and post a conservative view on that subject, I'll call it conservative, within the context of that conversation. Your other views have no relevance to me at this moment. If I encounter a liberal post you make about gun control in a gun thread, there's a good chance I will agree with it. We can't accumulate liberal "points" in one subject area and carry them over to another one. You've been making conservative points here, so that's what I call them.

Because we have to deal with people like you! :toetap05:

 

Please share (if you don't mind) http://www.hipforums.com/newforums/showthread.php?t=468297&f=343

 

How old are you? Condom use hasn't been "rare" since the early 1980s (with the HIV epidemic).

 

^^^ It's rare with me

 

That's when I was in college.

Oh yeah, right. Should I just attach all my medical records as a PDF?

 

A simple vote would be enough, unless you wanted to share more

 

Done.

 

well, Karen, thanks for taking the time to answer with such detail.

I have given this matter some thought and have decided that I am done with any 'Freelove' threads. I have my viewpoints, the rest of you have yours and neither side is going to change the mind of the other. The fact that not one other person rallied to my side of the argument shows that I am in the wrong place.

I thought, why have I spent so much time and effort on these threads when I am happily married? The thing I come back to is my attempt to understand the world my children are growing up in. My son is almost 14 and had his first 'date' Friday night (chaperoned by my wife and the girl's mother). It is just a matter of time before my son will be confronted with decisions about sex.

I am genuinely petrified about what my kids are going to go through for the next 10-20 years. Maybe they will navigate easily without any of the hang ups I do. I guess I'll find out.

Of all the decisions I made in my youth regarding sex I only have one regret; not being anyone's first (although I think I had a few opportunities to do that). I declined many chances to have sex as an 18,19 and 20 year old delaying the my loss of virginity, I just was too frozen into inaction at those moments, I even turned down an offer for a threesome once.

It wasn't until I was into my early thirties that I did any experimenting sexually. The casual sex I had was very unfulfilling and I ended up gravitating to commercial sex; prostitutes, massage parlors, peep shows and porn. I guess in a way that seemed more 'honest' than playing the games young single people play.

anyway, maybe I confuse love and sex but if I felt there was no possibility of love then I didn't want sex unless it was perfectly clear up front that there was no possibility of both (as with patronizing prostitutes).

Once I lost my virginity I developed a voracious appetite for sex. There were weeks when 20-25 orgasms were routine. Until a few years ago I was good for more or less unlimited sex. At 50 that is no longer possible but I know from conversations with contemporaries that having sex 3-5 times a week at age 50 is way off the charts.

in other words, I love sex as much as anyone else here, I just want it all to be with my beautiful sexy wife. I am so wildly attracted to her that only women with the same same body shape, hair and eye color will turn my head. This morning I called her from work, she said she was about to get in the shower, I said "so your naked?" I got a hard on thinking about my wife being naked despite the fact that I have been looking at her body for 17 years. I guess I thought some of you would share that sense of joy at being so single minded in your desire for just one other person.

I think I've now said everything I needed to say, so take it easy.

 

Just make sure they're as well educated on the subject as they can be. They're going to make whatever decisions they're going to make, regardless of any cajoling or encouragement on your part, so the only legitimate course of action is to make sure they're armed with legitimate, accurate information about safe sex and the like before they get into a position where they might have to make that decisions. If they know what they're doing, you should feel a lot less "petrified" than you should be if they're clueless.

I'd like to bitch slap any parent who says they're not going to teach their child about safe sex because that's "encouraging" them to have sex. That's just bullshit.

 

I would like to bitch slap lazy parents who think that saying "no" to too much adult activity before an adolescent can make good judgments, means that their child may not like them, or that they might not be hip enough.