Untitled I'm sick of the people, all the miserable people what's so great about nonsense, can't we all move on they've all stayed human, and we are the beings the spirits who all, grew up to song Can you see me through the darkness move on, long gone more metal, just move it along All the wandering people, all the miserable people we have the answers, we're just searching for questions fields of grain have looked the same yours is evil and mine is tame rowing through the black waters, feeling buttons automatic-tellers. Prison for the blind Where were you when the skys fell? Where were you when the gun yelled? Were you there to see the black and red ants? Were you there to argue your stance? I heard the screaming bombs, and I saw the midnight hanging. Went to the show, saw nothing but trash, when I woke up the door was banging. When will you run for your life, when it comes to holding your neck on a knife? For years we sit in the darkness waiting for light, it's just your peers telling you what's right. I was dropped in a forest, and what did I find, I was smack dab in the middle of my mind. I was suprised at what no one else knew, all my worst fears had come true. Memories in the dirt clouds roll by now there's not a cloud in the sky they've all moved on and left me alone what is there to roll over? what else is there to destroy? I went walking in the forest I used to know there's no trees left sit down on the stump, oh how I'm alone there's not enough strings on this guitar to tell you of my hate there's not a word that defines how you've put me in this state. Critique this work please...
I like "Prison for the Mind" best. It suprised me you were only 14yrs old. Their great to me. It's hard to not like poetry unless it is totally tasteless and corny. It comes from your inner soul. So regarldess if it rhymes,etc..It's true. You might want to try formulating them into stanza's for easier understanding and reading. Either way I think they all rock
I always try to pick the right set up for my poems. Some of them look better if the sentences run together, and some do split up. I never arrange them like that on accident. Thank you as you being the first one to say anything about my posts.
Heh,Ok that's cool. I know what your saying. I once wrote a poem on notebook paper and I skipped each line then when I was at the bottom of the paper I went back to the top and started from the lines I had skipped. It didn't make sense unless you knew how I wrote it so ya could read it. Either way they all rock}:O)~
