Meeting with a stranger for MMF?

Hi all!

My name is Joaquin and I have been a lurker on this site for almost a year.
I was too lazy to create an anonymous account to react on topics, but now I need your combined experience on a matter so I finally took the step to create an email and account!

I am the bad half of a thirty-something couple (my wife is called Monse) and we have a few years of experience having sex with others.
She shared me with her best friend early in our relationship for our first and only MFF, and I have shared her with three different men (all friends of ours). The second of those friends became our regular bed partner for 4 years before het got sick and passed away

We had a truly great thing going on with him and we almost considered him to be a key part of our relationship. Our sexual relationship that is, as there were no romantic feelings involved like in a poly relation.

About a year after his passing away we started to become interested again in finding a new partner for us, but we found it quite difficult.
So far all our escapades had been with friends, people we trusted and felt at ease with. In fact, our secret relationship with our friend was a bonus as we found it amusing to flirt with each other on birthdays and other parties were other friends were around. Monse and our friend even had sex once on a party in the back yard while no-one noticed
(I will soon write about our adventures in our introduction topic that will follow later)

We thought about looking for strangers online, but we both felt very uneasy about it.
So when an opportunity arose with an ex co-worker of Monse that had become kind of a friend after he left the job we took it. They had a great thing going on from the get go and after he left the company we invited him to our house, dinners etc.

So our first time was great, and the following meetings were hot too, but then the guy began to inject himself way too much in our relation and he started to develop feelings for Monse. So we had to end that, and it didn't go that well. He stalked us for a while, threatened to tell everyone about the kind of perverts we were etc. After a few months it finally ended and we have not had any sharing sessions with anyone for 14 months now.

So as you can imagine, trying out again with another friend is off the table! When it works if can be wonderful, but it can also backfire, destroy friendships and expose all your secrets to the entire world!
But as some of you can imagine the craving to share and be shared is still there, so we're in the process of finding someone out there that might literally fill that need for us.

Now this is the thing, we have zero experience with this. We have read threads upon threads from this topic and we became members of a few sites to check out what's out there. But we still don't know what to go for.

We considered going to a swingers club as some people often advise, but we are both very self conscious about how we look and I guess we wouldn't feel at ease in such a setting.
Also we are not looking for a couples swap as Monse likes to be the center of attention and I like seeing her like my own porn star with multiple man. I love to watch them and I need to have all of my attention on her and her partner. So one (or more, a big fantasy of us) men it is.

First a bit more about ourselves: I don't consider myself as a cuckold. We feel more like a stag/vixen couple. I really enjoy seeing Monse play with another cock, but I feel no desire to be humiliated, I always need to be present and involved. We're NOT looking for some macho guy that feels like he needs to teach us how to 'truly' fuck a woman.
What we want to avoid is a situation were we feel 'abused' or threatened. There needs to be a click. Not only between Monse and the guy, but also between us.

After having had online contact with a few guys that behaved way too dominant or like an ass we met one guy that seemed very interested in Monse, he was very complimentary towards her, he was nice and when we had a short Skype meeting it seemed like we were all on the same frequency.

So we finally decided to meet with him! We would have preferred to meet him at our house, but we felt this was way too risky, so we looked for an hotel and booked a room for the next weekend.
We were extremely excited the days before the meet, we went to buy some new lingerie and heels for Monse (even though she has way too many already ;-)) and had great sex together.

But to make things short, he never showed up! We waited for hours in that hotel room, we were extremely nervous and ended up being heavily dissapointed. We tried to make the best of us, but we were both too upset.
The guy never responded again on our msgs and calls....

So now we don't know how to proceed. Should we try again? But if we do, what can we do to prevent this from happening again? And how to avoid meeting a guy that lies about his interests just to get into one room with my wife?

At this moment we're having some contact with two guys, again both very interested and civil. We explained them our desires and they seem very interested, but is there anything more we can do to prevent more dissapointment? We're even considering meeting with both of them with an hour or two in between to have a 'backup'. We got quite aroused by the idea of both of them actually showing up or maybe even at the same time. Pleasantly surprised about that

Anyone with similar experience and the golden tip?

 

No shows are unfortunately not uncommon. They, like you get titillated by the idea, but chicken out at the last minute. Or they get off to the fact it could happen but can't go through with it. Anyway...I would maybe meet them first at a neutral non-threatening location in public, like a restaurant, bar, or coffee shopbwith no plans the 1st meeting. Takes the anticipation and pressure of all of you and take it from there. Be better anyway to be more comfortable with the 3rd. Just a thought.

 

Meeting them in a bar is an excellent idea!
This way you can also pick up on any bad vibes that aren't maybe visible on Skype.

 

Exactly bud and know if they are for real or full of shit

 

Agreed, meet at a public place with no intent of sex at the meet. Be sure that the invitees never meet with you at the same time or see each other. You may be aroused by the idea of both of them showing up at the same time but it it could be construed as a competition. They both may walk upon coming across each other in what might be an awkward situation for them. This would be okay if they knew what they were getting into but having a chance meeting would destroy all possibilities of having one or the other fuck your wife. It's all about confidentiality and keeping the activity just between you and the third party.

 

You're right, we should not push things too far here. One at the time. I'll try to set up a meet for next friday in a bar, see if there's a click first.
First of all you can weed out the guys who won't show up, and you won't be surprised by a bad vibe in an hotel room.

What we CAN do is make two separate 'test' appointments with both guys, so we have two guys to actually choose from.
The idea is to find someone who we can have a longer relationship with, but why not two? One of our fantasies is to invite two guys into our bed, so we can start working towards that ideal

I'm really nervous, Monse is quite nervous too and I'm afraid that she will shut it down permanently if the next meeting will fail again.

 

Glad to see that you made the jump to dating a stranger! I have been trying to convince my wife to try it once, but still to no avail!

 

Most of the mmf threesomes that I was invited into we met out at a bar or restaurant first. Although I did have a few where the couple just invited me right over to their house, one time when I got there the husband was already naked when he met me at the door.

 

Saw an attractive lady at a bar, started talking to her. After about 20 minutes her husband comes up to us. We all talk for a bit, then they invite me to their house where we begin to drink more and play strip poker. All naked by then. I was so hard and he was too. They start fondling each other he says i can join in. Great sex, then I left

 

From reading the op I think one thing has created a problem. Cuckold porn. Too many guys think the husband or boyfriend is to be ridiculed or humiliated. I'd be flattered and appreciative of being included and respect the couple.

 

We have meet with strangers, and maybe after a few drinks and dances at a night club, have ended up having sex. I have been on both ends of mfm or another couple. This back in the 70's at the end of the hippie free love movement. Things were so much simpler then. Not much different from the swinger scene.

 

confused? or can't believe what just happened?

 

Sounds like fun.

 

Hope it was a good kind of sore. Like too much of a good thing.