hey I dont know where I could find some help about this..maybe here I could try.. I meditate about 6 months I know its not much, but I was always interest and doing something with magic/this stuff but many things have changed even through short time.. what is strange to me?? - I see iam crazy , world is crazy people are crazy, how its possible spend time with tv about 8 h a day, my parents spends even 20 h my mother cook and tv is on, sleep and its on, eat and its go on and on, this start to be more and more irritating than ever after my time of meditation, I cant just understand this people < I personally dont watch tv about 10 years > - what people talk about only seeing wrong things in others, in fact they only talks about themselves and its always in real their fault.. like someone is fat and talking about other ones that are fat but doesn't see on him.. - living unconscious, walking, eating doing things automatic even no idea about it.. -emotions like jealousy, anger ? where they come from and what people are doing, what for hate anyone.. I dont speak only about others... I was catching many times myself doing the same..this all making me cry... who iam even If I cant sit peacefully for 30 minutes? .. and I also observed strange feelings like: - tickling in some part of body while or after meditating, mostly in sexual part or third eye( here even some kind of pain) - feeling electricity, in back of my head, or in my arms - I lost my sexuality.. totally even I couldnt have sex with someone.. Cant look at person like thing to use, like something to please me, I dont feel any desire or excitation about it.. just see person as it is.. didnt have sex about 3 years and I had many occasions like 7 for week <lol> but cant just - dont drink alcohol 3 years too , just cant, its meaningless for me, feeling better sober - going party seems to be boring last time I try isolate myself really often.. - was doing wrong businesses and now I cant cheat or steal on people..left it.. even sometimes I was thinking why I cant do this anymore even I had much more money then I got now, I dont really care about it.. start really to be more desire-less.. - many times it happens I just cry spontaneously and after that use my anger or scream after that laugh or even cry with laugh.. - some of my dreams come true.. - cant look the same way at people I didn't like before or had some negative feelings - now I see the clear, just like they are..even more love in it.. - found myself speaking more fast, analyzing more and even I hate maths I count a way better.. But no one who could understand me.. everyone around me seems to be aloof.. I dont know is just that all bullshit or really something changes in me.. or maybe its only my illusions of desired mind..?
Meditation brings new awareness. At the beginning you may find everyone really asleep and ignorant, but as your practice grows more stable, so will your view of the world. You might now accept the actions of the less aware as meaningful, but they are the karma of those around you - which still includes you. Save yourself and those around you some suffering by accepting, by understanding that there's substantively little difference no matter what the actions your kith and kin. The first few years of meditation make one feel separate, as year go by however one becomes feeling more integrated and part of it all. People meditate for their own peace of mind. When you start meditating for other people then you have made a left turn somewhere. Relax, make a clean space for your meditation, and only expect meditation to bring you benefits, do not do it for other people, for yourself only. Bring what peace you have found within and be nicer - that's all - be nicer. Lifelong meditators I know (who started at age 5 and still practice into their 40s), seem more actualized and 'normal' than other people. But you would never notice them in a crowd. They, if anything, become more normal.
