George and Ethel, both in their 80s and married over 60 years, were killed in a car accident. Upon getting to the Pearly Gates they're met by Saint Peter who takes them on the grand tour. "If you two like to eat, nothing here has cholesterol and, of course, you live forever anyway in Heaven so as much as you want to eat of whatever you want to it is readily available," he tells them. "Ethel, we know you love to shop, and up here you can shop anywhere and get anything all at no cost, so have at it. George, we know you really loved to golf, so you name the course anywhere and you're instantly on the first tee-box, no waiting and no greens fees." Peter goes on for a bit longer to tell them about all the wonders of Heaven, and suddenly George spins around and punches Ethel square in the nose, flattening her. "Why'd you do that," she sobbed. "Because if it hadn't been for you and those fucking bran muffins we'd have been here on our own fifteen years ago," he snapped.
