Mean drunks and XMas

background: i'm the adult child of an abusive alcoholic parent and i'm diagnosed with PTSD and GAD. so of course i hold some bias against drinking. i prefer tea. in general, i think everyone should be able to consume what they want, but personally, i don't like to drink. i really don't see the point of alcohol when you have pot.
i've been around people who can handle their shit, but more often than not i've encountered mean drunks, and each time i encounter violence or negativity associated with alcohol i drink less and i like alcohol or drinking less.
i want to say its up to the individual, most are responsible, etc.
but it feels like everytime alcohol comes up shit hits the fan.
went to a Christmas party last night. you know how when some people drink, the mean, cruel, violent subconscious side comes out?
yeah, my regard for some select people just went down. left in tears, tired of being surrounded by drunken destruction and debauchery.
so-called friends get wasted, get mean towards my husband and i, we leave.
man, why would anyone drink if they had pot? pot doesn't make people mean.
just left such a bad taste in my mouth.... you see sides of people you didn't think were there, and i'm just disgusted.
namaste

 

Pot can make people say bad things without thinking about it as well. And just like that seem real mean. But yes, alcohol is even better at doing that. I'm sorry to hear your friends did that but depending on what they said and how they mean it I might blame it on the alcohol if I were you.

 

All drugs have a downside. It's the degree to which people use them, coupled with their own personality and their already existing propensity towards violence and negativity. To blame alcohol on its own is just silly. Not everyone who drinks is like that, even when those people drink in excess. Sure alcohol has the tendency to bring out the worst in people, but so do a lot of things. There are always going to be people who can't hold their liquor and end up making an ass of themselves. It speaks more about the person than the substances they might be imbibing in.

 

Sometimes people drink and have pot they just like to do both... I know when my boyfriend and I are drinking we don't generally smoke until we are about done drinking... then we smoke its like it boosts the drunkennes of alchohol and its a nice ending to the night. We generally go to bed when we are done smoking after drinking.

And no, not all people are mean drunks. My advice to you is maybe you should find some different 'friends.' People that you might enjoy being around more and that doesn't get mean. My boyfriend drinks more than I do. He drinks like every other day and I drink maybe once or twice a week and we don't get angry or anything.

You can't just blame one drug. I'm sorry about your night and your Christmas party, I wouldn't be very happy either, but at the same time if that happens often I wouldn't put myself in a uncomfortable situation.

 

Sorry to hear that happen to you and your husband, or anyone for that matter. That must have a really bad experience. I hope the assholes feel like shit after they sober up and think about it.

 

I had wonderful Xmasses when I was a kid, but alcohol and the family members that drank it, always fucked the gatherings up. One of the worst was when my aunt staggered out of the bedroom drunk and pissed in the floor furnace!! And my uncle(who was a professional boxer in his youth) tried to hit one of his sons--missed and broke his hand on his new Buick.

But alcohol is a perfect drug for this society. Car wrecks, divorces, fights, killings and all the rest of the consequences of drunks behaving like drunks--creates MONEY.

 

thanks for being sympathetic. i don't think they have a clue i've blocked them all on facebook... one was drinking whiskey this morning. i don't think they have any idea.

 

it brings all kind of nasty negative stuff up out of my memories and subconscious. ive never seen a mean stoner. i mean really. mean drunks? had more than my share of drunken beatings in my first 16 years.

 

Drunken beatings? Damn. Sorry about that. I don't see any--or haven't seen ANY MJ smokers act like drunks. Different deal.

 

That shouldn't happen to anyone. It just makes people feel bad about themselves. I hope you don't feel that the beatings were your fault - nothing a child can do deserves physical, verbal or mental abuse, that is a plain and simple fact.

 

It depends on the individual. If someone finds that alcohol makes them unpleasant to be around, I think it is their responsibility to make whatever changes need to be made to prevent their behavior from causing problems for other people. It's just a part of being an adult.

I haven't personally had the kinds of problems that you describe. My husband and my friends handle alcohol okay. I usually play bartender when we all get together.

Alcohol is almost like a truth serum. If someone has a lot of anger in them, drinking is going to bring it out.

 

When I get stoned I get too lazy to talk yet alone get up start wailing on someone.

 

I'd have to disagree about pot not doing the same thing to people. However I feel really bad that you had to experience that and I can understand it would be especially frustrating coming from the kind of background you have.

In general the drunks I know are not violent drunks, but just one is enough really. I've actually had worse experiences with people smoking pot, but I've probably been around people who smoke more and on a more regular basis.

Anyway, I'm really sorry, I can definitely empathize with how annoying and frustrating that situation is. I try to stay away from both because I don't like the way it makes me feel or the way it makes me react to other people, especially other people under the influence of either/or. I find that I am more sensitive and less aware of when the shit is about to hit the fan when I'm also influenced. I prefer to be more aware at this point in my life.

I hope you feel better soon.

 

some people are nasty drunks,but because someone likes a pint doesnt mean there nasty, some will do anything to be loving to people

 

What if a counsellor/therapist said to you, thats a load of bull you cant have both at the same time, impossible to distinguish symptoms between them.

What would happen, you may fly off the handle , become confrontational...or at very least think that person doesnt know what they are talking about and you'd end sessions with that person and move on to another professional.

GAD is an excessive level of anxiety, one of the symptoms of PTSD is an elevated level of arousal or anxiety.

They are kind of logically exclusive, did the excessive anxiety come from a single traumatic event/period or is it from a general above avearge level of anxiety that has always been there? Which is it?

If PTSD thats all that parents fault, you can focus that blame on to something/someone else. If GAD, well then its pretty much just a hereditary disposition for your amygdala to not work properley compared to everyone else, which means its you, no one else to blame, really just that all you wires werent connected properly

My point being, anyone in the know, as soon as they hear you say you have both PTSD and GAD, will think "Oh here we go". Everyone else will hear you talk like that, that you have a disorder, give you sympathy....but do it too often and peope will just start to think its about attention and you are milking it.

As for those mental health professionals, they will go along with what you are saying so you dont become confrontational, tell you what you want to hear so you keep seeing them.....but steer you in a certain direction. What will really happen is as soon as you say you had an alcoholic parent along with a few other clues, then bamn, they'll cross off PTSD, scribble GAD in their notebook. And you would then know by what action they take, whether they believe you are an extreme case or just a garden variety type.

Benzos are helpful in the short term for extreme cases, you just have to get them to settle down for before trying to start behavioral therapy, but they compound the disorder in the long term. Whereas Acceptance and Commitment therapy is just a clinical way of saying they want to train you not to be such a control freak.

So too GAD, and you are kind of screwed anyway, only booze or xanax is going to stop you stressing all the time, but you just end up deeper in it, like that parent. Not GAD enough, and everyone just going to think you are a self important princess that needs to control everything - especially those mental healthcare professionals everyone thinks can solve everything by the magic of talking

 

People who become mean when under the influence of anything are just mean to begin with. They just hide it well most of the time.

It is sad for those who have to deal with that, especially children as they have no choice for the most part.

 

thanks everyone certainly for the sympathy and kind words, i'm at the point in my life where i've worked through a lot of my old issues but growing is a lifelong journey and things can trigger, and i understand that's ok.
meanwhile, one of the said mean drunks, a neighbor of mine, hasn't been sober since said xmas party.... i had said to my husband, oh she's drunk again, and he corrected, still...
i'll stay with my tea, thank you

 

everyone to their own poet

 

I know some mean sober people, or course thats not exactly true. just dont fuck with them when they are out of benzos..

 

I worked with a guy that was smoking all the time but would run out mid trip, what a fucking asshole he turned into. Beat one guy up once.
Drunks and stoners suck equally well