Hello! Im a young guy with alot of fantasies and fetishes, but whenever I ejaculate I feel instant regret. I wish to be able to embrace it and not be ashamed and push it away, what can I do?
I think really understanding/knowing/believing that masturbation is a healthy thing to do is a necessary step.
Perhaps finding someone else to masturbate with, or follow through with your fantasies, would help you. I've found a few things that I thought I regret in that instant, & later discovered I really did enjoy the experience. Hope it helps. Play safe. Take care,
Interestingly, I've heard this from a lot of guys. (Female here.) Tbh I used to feel that way, but I started at an extremely young age and was brought up fairly heavily in Christianity. Sexuality and knowing oneself was strictly demonized. Now that I'm 18, I'm deflowered, I'm out of religion, etc. I can just feel comfortable with it and see it, tbh, in an objective light. You release stress, you have fun. Why is it any different from having a good stretch or scratching your back? Just keep doing it as you please, and don't engage in any self-shaming thoughts or behaviors. Make it a casual thing rather than a ritualistic indulgence you feel extremely private about. Some people have explained this feeling, though, as natural to have following a release. I've only ever really heard of this coming from males, but having experienced what I assume to be the same thing, I have reason to believe it can go away. Maybe just make a habit of rubbing one out every time you are aroused and have the opportunity. No porn, no pics, no lit-- just do it for the sensation and then leave it at that. I've gotten to the stage of freedom where I can just do it while browsing memes on Facebook. LOL Again, just think of it as casual. You know everyone does it, haha. It's not wrong or bad or nasty. It's healthy, educational, and completely normal. No sweat. Lots of luck to you!
Exactly. And try to have time and circumstances to lie quietly after an orgasm to relax and let it drive you to a warm loose alpha state... Occasionally also do it when you can sleep or nap afterward. You won't feel guilty when you waken.
Back when I was at school there was a guy in our class that swore he never masturbated. The argument from the rest of was: why the heck not?! Your hand reaches your genitals and it's fun so what's not to like?
A man is walking down the road with a friend when they see a dog licking it's own balls. The first guy said "Geee, I wish I could do that!" His friend turned to him and said "Well maybe if you give him a dog biscuit, he'll let you". .
I think it is probably worth knowing that there are hormones released as you ejaculate that temporarily suppress you horniness. For someone who was not brought up to feel guilty about masturbation the way that would normally work when first discovering masturbation around puberty is that, due to hormones again, you'd get horny, end up masturbating and then, after ejaculation when you're no long horny you'd be thinking "What a strange thing to do, I wonder why I did that?". Gradually, over time, you come to accept it as one of the normal things you do and a very enjoyable thing to do too. If you feel guilty afterwards then you have grown up in an environment that has imparted that guilt to you. The horniness then overrides that guilt for a while (it's a very powerul drive) and then afterwards the guilt reemerges. So, things may improve just as you get more used to doing it. On the other hand you may need to broaden your horizons and break free from those who have made you feel guilty. It may also be worth thinking about the fantasies you have. Are they about things you would feel guilty about? Are they about things you should feel guilty about? A lot of things that may seem a bit way out are probably more common than you think. As a society we have been so shy about sex there is so much more variety in people's fantasies and practices than is ever mentioned in popular culture. It is also worth bearing in mind you can fantasise about things you would not actually want to do.
I used to feel the same way, but if you come to terms with your fantasies and fetishes and why you like it and understand- by doing research- that lots of people have these fantasies and masturbate to them, you will realise you are completely normal and there is nothing you need to be ashamed of or regret. So do research on these things and understand your fantasies and fetishes and in time you won't feel like that.
Years ago i used to feel guilt after a wank, but never understood why. Now i certainly don't. Been at it for years, love it. Its one of my favourite pastimes.
I have never understood the guilt thing. Is it because you are self pleasuring instead of having sex with someone else?
