Married to an accepting woman but have concerns

Discussion in 'Bisexual' started by LowHangers, Nov 13, 2021.

  1. LowHangers

    LowHangers Members

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    Putting aside our most recent meeting of a third male within our two couple relationship I am feeling some concerns from my wife that wave a flag of possible concern but I can't always read between the lines and understand and totally get her facial expressions when speaking out.

    I'm starting to think she may have some concerns of loosing me within the bedroom being I'm spending more time with "our" man and his newly invited past friend. She's always supported my bisexuality and my desire for cock almost 24/7 having a man for the past 11 years that she herself at times participates with.

    I'm feeling that the acceptance of a third male accepted by both male/female couples is something she is worried about. I sense it, but she hasn't stated it in words. Yes, I'm sucking these guys off as they are sucking me off weekly only because both our wives have given the green light and when they want a "gang-bang" they shall be provided one yet I feel she is questioning and it bothers me.

    She and I have discussed if I am leaning more to having gay sex than heterosexual sex and I reply "Babe, I want to continue to enjoy both but I cannot lie"...I need cock more than I need pussy. You don't have a cock and you know how much I enjoy sucking cock and being fucked in the ass by one since you helped to convince me to take Tom's cock up my ass. Yes, I love his cock but it does not take away how much I enjoy your pussy either I say...

    My wife and I (I'm 58 she is 63) have discussed the fact that I am leaning sexually more towards going fully gay and I have little to dispute the subject with her than assurance I will not put her aside yet...This is a tough subject having even told her IF she leaves this earth before me I shall never search for another woman, you are my last and best by far in my life. I shall stick to men only after you god forbid.
     
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  2. budg282

    budg282 Members

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    I applaud you because if I were in your shoes, I would probably be too focused on being split roasted than to pick up on any subtle concerns your wife may have but hasn't overtly expressed. So I think, in large measure, the hard part is accomplished. If it were me in that situation, I would make sure that I make time to satisfy her how she likes it, 1 on 1. Again, if it were me, I would try to focus on how good her pussy feels while we make love and how much we are into and love each other, and I think she will pick up on it. She obviously is ok with your desires but I think also wants to feel desired herself and not left behind as some sort of afterhought with the mmm threesome fun to come (cum).
     
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  3. Si69

    Si69 Senior Member Lifetime Supporter

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    Your scenario sounds quite similar to my own, although while the last eight years of our marriage were open with her acceptance of me meeting other guys, in reality it came to bother her. Unlike you, other than a five month relationship and playing together with another biguy and a few visits to a swinging club we didn't interact with others sexually but played apart with the proviso that I kept her informed and no women.

    Ages reversed, she is 12 years younger than me and in the end at 55 she wanted to go her own way....and I think, although we continued to have a good sex life, she partly felt to let me free, and saw a different trajectory for herself.

    We spent a fair amount of time reading and interacting with other's experiences in similar situations on a few online closed groups such as MMOMW- making mixed orientated marriages work - and others which was really useful and showed just how many folk are in similar situations. I think that one has now closed. ..it was a yahoo based one, but there will be others for sure.

    Can only wish you both luck......

    Simon :)
     
  4. Suburbanray

    Suburbanray Members

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    sending you a message.
     
  5. Well I'm curious

    Well I'm curious Members

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    I don't know the answer, perhaps you need to get with your wife more.
    Perhaps drop one of those BJ dates occassionally, if she knows you are going out to get sucked off suggest you stay home and have mutual oral with your wife. Give her a good 69er, take one for the team.

    I haven't been with a bloke and my wife won't share, she knows she is welcome to have a girlfriend, bi woman really appeal to me. She toys my ass occasionally but I would like to experience cock but don't raise it.

    She allows you to fuck around with the guys but maybe have a weekend away together try get some spark back.

    Maybe suggest you bring your freind in and turn you attentions on her, make sure she gets rooted and share her with the other guy if she agrees,. Give her some attention making her feel special.

    Maybe she does anal, maybe not. I think woman can enjoy it if they are in the mood, assure her you want to fuck her ass.

    I think men have more to gain in pleasure because of the prostrate but women can enjoy some to

    I had a dildo that had a ring for my shaft and one for my balls. I used that on my wife. . Both DP in her pussy and while fucking her ass. She enjoyed it both ways, particularly in her pussy but took the ass fuck and enjoyed her pussy being attended to at the same time.

    She actually got wet from it.

    Just take a step back and give your wife a good seeing too so you can get back with the boys
     
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  6. Hardright

    Hardright Members

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    I believe you need to spend some time reinforcing to your wife that you love her, need her, and want her. Assuming your wife is as important to you as mine is to me, I certainly wouldn't want to even take a chance at allowing that relationship to wither.

    Take the time to reinforce to her not just the sexual relationship but loving, caring, and cherishing bit as well. I've discovered that women Ike this thing where you both sit around and make noises with your mouth to each other. I'm not that good at it, but I'm working on getting better. She seems to appreciate it and our relationship keeps getting better.
     
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  7. BoyToy69

    BoyToy69 Members

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    I definitely feel for you. I myself wouldn't waste any time thinking and worrying about it. Time is precious. Sit down with her, hold her hands, and share your thoughts and concerns. She will know you're serious. Communication is so important. Hopefully you're reading her wrong, but I would definitely have a heart-to-heart discussion before either of you cause anymore worry and/or stress in what's been a wonderful long-term relationship. The very best of luck to all your Family.
     
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  8. LowHangers

    LowHangers Members

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    Allow me to share a follow-up to the initial posting of this thread. It was only a couple days after posting here that I brought the subject up after dinner as we cozied up on the couch. I'm not going to post word for word what we discussed and it was a positive conversation for both of us. Yes she does have concerns, but not for the relationship the she and I have shared and are sharing for the past 8 years. Her concerns were for Tom and I bringing in a third male (Tom's past bud) that could create issues between Tom and I having been together for 11 years ourselves, before I met my wife. She suggested if Tom and I are going to continuing with him we should always do so as a threesome rather than just any two of us engaging without the third to avoid any potential jealousy concerns that could arise. So, her concerns were for Tom and I, not her and I which did place me at ease just before we finished our evening with some passionate love making. BTW, apparently my wife also spoke to Tom's wife and brought this very concern to her attention to get her feelings on the matter but Carol said she had none at the moment.
     
  9. BoyToy69

    BoyToy69 Members

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    With HF being the first place I look when I wake up, reading this made my first drink of coffee that much better!! I'm glad you have such an amazing wife. Clearly looking after the entire Family as a whole, and your future. Thanks for the update!
     
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  10. LowHangers

    LowHangers Members

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    Thank you. It seems I was worried about nothing as she was more worried about me than I of her. We did also conclude that being happy and satisfied means more to each of us than anything else. She's a very focused woman where I can act sometimes "fly-by-night" and at times need reeled in so to speak which what she was trying to do in a casual way.
     
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