It has suddenly become bikini weather here and I have been stretched out in the sun naked for a while the last couple days (I hate tan lines). It crossed my mind that though my yard is pretty private, I will be out in public in my skimpy swimsuits soon, and right now my body is quite a sight. There are welts all over my legs and back, bite marks in various places, a few choking marks around my neck and my ass is bruised to oblivion, etc. My curiousity is those of you who are into the harder side of spanking and rough sex and have these kind of marks left over, do you try to hide them? Why or why not? Personally, I don't really care if people see. This is who I am, this is what I enjoy, and I am not ashamed of it and I have no problem being open about my sexuality. I usually go on about my merry way wearing what I feel like putting on that day and if it shows that I have been having fun in bed recently so be it. The only exception is at work, and then it is not so much trying to hide it as that working in the business world the stereotyped "business attire" usually covers it. Though I suppose I do dress on the outer fringe of the concept. More to the point though, I wear sexy, usually revealing clothes and I love tiny bikinis that show off my body, so a lot of times there are marks in plain view. It has led to some interesting conversations; I have had people try to take me to domestic abuse coucellors, battered women's homes, cops have tried to get statements of assault, people tend to be outraged instinctively because someone beat me. All in all that is a good thing I think because a lot of women need that help; but the reactions when I tell them no, it is ok, I have a sexual fettish and I enjoy it range from disbelief, to being offended, to telling me I am in denial, suggesting therapists, trying to convince me I have a problem, to the ever popular being completely nonplussed. On the counter point, I have had guys and girls who recognized my marks for what they are and approached me about playing dirty. Have any of you experienced some of that too?
I had some interestingly placed bruises awhile back... I'm pretty sure if it had been swim season and someone noticed I would have had offers for domestic violence counseling too. I wouldn't want them visible/noticed... too much hassle. hell, they freaked out the guy I was seeing and while I assured him getting them had been a good time, he couldn't get into doing again... I can only imagine the reaction of well meaning strangers.
Ive been spanked before & the bruises only amuse me. No one else really cared. It was a long time ago. Now, I spank! I like spanking men. It is much more my speed. Whether he cares if anyone sees any marks, well, he should behave better if he doesn't want to be spanked.
You could play on Sunday night and then the bruised would be gone by the weekend so you could go tan again, thats about the only answer i got...We live in a society today where do-gooders go looking for touble. Im a 50 yr old guy and I cant even go to the DRs office without having to answer abuse questions..Yea my cat beats me ok....I guess you just have to be careful because somebody will make a lot of touble for you..well your partner anyway..
The only marks I've ever had are numerous love bites. I do hide them (when in public).. but only to avoid questions that I can't be bothered answering. I think bruises are beautiful!
I'm more making an observation and looking into other people's experiences than looking for an answer sweetie. I wear my marks loud and proud and deal with the odd situations as needed; the kind of marks I get are often still around after a week, and I never go that long without playing again anyway, lol. I understand your meaning about do gooders though, my longest term fuck buddy is also who I get roughest with and my best friend. We hang out a lot, so he has been read the riot act and given lots of "DIE NOW!" looks by people. Such is the life of a kinky sex addict *sigh* Fortunately we have not had to field any serious cases of someone not minding their own business, I actuslly get that more when I am alone. Possibly something to do with him being a rather large, imposing figure. My doctor finally stopped questioning my lifestyle and surrendered, though I had to work at it for a while, lol.
I am answering as a kink-aware professional One of the offices in which I work is a required reporting profession. That means if I see a client with marks, I have to ask, legally. In the interest of fairness, I ask every client with marks, even when my kink-dar is screaming "play marks." My own interest is how old are the marks, where are they in healing, and you know I cannot work over bruises, right. All I care about is the tissue. Well, and how that person's pain awareness is. In public, I consider activity in front of others as violating consent. They didn't consent to seeing you be a perv. Marks could go either way. If I pick up that flaunting the bruises, etc ispart of the person's sexual thrill, then it is invasive. If he or she is just marked and not pushing a look and deal vibe, then I don't feel pulled in. Obviously, in the therapeutic scenario, that is suspended.
People aren't socially allowed to experience these thoughts, so they react with pity and disgust. They've internalized the conservative, female-as-victim, ideology. They're do gooders, but with twisted minds (like the people who campaigned to make playgrounds so unbelievably safe that children's imaginations are destroyed; or the efforts to ban smoking in public parks). Very interesting idea about fet play as pornography. And then, the results of fet play, as pornography. And then, showing your bruises as public exhibition of pornography. The only problem is how lame it is. Can't you stand up for yourself? You have to be so inoffensive that you'd hide your lifestyle not to upset people, on the repressive argument that it's indecent, in their eyes? Try this: in a muslim neighborhood, they didn't ask to see you walk down the street in a bikini top on a hot summer day. So you shouldn't offend them. You play sports and get bruised. Now do people have a right to ask you "is that bruise from football or from bondage?". And if you say football, they HAVE to accept it as displayed and if you say bondage, they have a ground for at least asking you to cover it up?
The idea of consent to sexual INTEREST means that you are responsible for other people's desires. So, its violating consent (raping them or sexually harassing them), to flaunt yourself. Because it arouses desires in them which they didn't want. i don't see any difference between this and people who gossip about a woman who wears a short skirt as being a slut who doesn't belong among civilized people. Not one difference.
this is not so much a 'marks made by others seen in public' thing, but my story is quite amusing. ended up costing me a job, but i didn't mind, the commute would have been a bear anyway. went for a job interview the day after some really rough sex where we were somewhere where i couldn't make any noise (partner's roommate was sleeping in a room very close to the room we were in). so in the heat of the moment, to keep from waking up roommate, and most likely the rest of the whole apartment building, lol, i ended up biting the inside of my upper arm while he was fucking me really rough, to keep quiet. went to the job interview the next day wearing a short sleeve blouse, not realizing that the bruise i had given myself was visible. realized about 5 minutes into the interview that the panel (yes, not just one interviewer, but 5 of them!) of people were all STARING at my upper arm. it wasn't even a big bruise, but it was tooth/mouth shaped, and it was a dark one. guess the bruise was just so interesting to them, or they thought too negatively about it to hire me. oops, lol!
I wear my bruises, welts, bites, and marks proudly. I look at them like badges of honor. So far I've never had any conversations occur but still.
I was only paddled once hard enough to leave a bruise on my behind, but it was higher up than would show under my swimsuit.
