Man's last hope

Discussion in 'Poetry' started by bparham79, May 20, 2004.

  1. bparham79

    bparham79 Member

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    I read
    I mean man do I read
    like some literate
    jurassic boogie man
    stalking knoweledge
    from the shadows
    making prey on
    Emerson and Thereau
    and all that transcedentalt
    all that oneness and naturalism
    and the beat cats
    Ginsberg, and Kaufman
    and the rest of the gang
    led by Keriouc
    and the Dharmas and the sutras
    and all the Social Critisms
    of post industrialism
    Syrup and Schallenger
    and Einstein
    physics and Signs of life
    and all the lyrics
    of all the music that moves me
    from Ani to Buddy Guy
    and all that
    all that in between
    and all the this's
    and all the that's
    in quiet contemplation
    that I'm man's last vestige
    of intellectual isms'
    and when the world spurns
    and when the world burns
    well I'll be on the sidelines
    devising a plan
    saving man from man

  2. SvgGrdnBeauty

    SvgGrdnBeauty only connect

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    Same here...
  3. NightOwl1331

    NightOwl1331 Hip Forums Supporter HipForums Supporter

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    Very nice! Best poem I've seen on here so far! :D
  4. EdgeUcatE

    EdgeUcatE Member

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    Nice Nice vocab, I'm glad I checked this piece out, I liked the repeat with a change in a few words for emphasis, nice detail capturing effect, not much of a complete ryhme scheme but this piece doesn't need one, keep it up, I really really enjoyed this. btw nice vocab too. peace
  5. moonbeam

    moonbeam Member

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    Not too crazy about it, sorry. I like the idea, but way too much repetition. The only thing that really interested me in it was the last eight lines. Those were nice. But in the mean time, i would find a way to rearrange the latter lines by making them less boring. Just my opinion. I can be blunt, sorry about that! Hey but nothing against you man....I love you anyway! Just critiquing (sp) . So yeah. Peace!

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