Manners and General Etiquette

is it wrong to open a door for a lady even if you don't know her?

is it wrong to give a lady your seat on a crowded subway train?

is it wrong to get up out of your seat when a lady excuses herself
from the table?

are these things offensive in their nature?

 

No, I would say those things are not wrong, more a choice.

 

1. Absolutely not !!! - you should, as a Gentleman ALWAYS open and hold a door for a lady, irrespective of whether that lady is known to you.

2. Absolutely not !!! - Providing you are fit and healthy, you should ALWAYS relinquish your seat to a lady, not just on a subway train, but ANY form of public transport.

3. Absolutely not !!! - It is good manners for a gentleman to stand up when a lady excuses herself from the table, and again if/when the lady returns.

 

That sort of chivalrous behavior is seen as offensive by those with extreme feminist agendas these days. They wanna be treated just like a man. Until the shit hits the fan at least

 

To me, it seems old fashioned, but definitely not rude or offensive.

 

I pay no attention to this so-called PC rubbish !!! - I was taught 'good manners' some fifty odd years ago and I will continue to demonstrate those good manners now !!!

 

Holding the door should be a given regardless of gender. It's so damn rude to let a door fly back in someone's face

Offering your seat is nice. I'm not going to take it because I prefer to stand usually, but I dont get offended if someone offers

The third thing seems outdated, I don't really see the point in everyone at the table standing up just because I need to excuse myself to go pee lol. But again it wouldnt be offensive, I would just find it quaint and old fashioned

 

You and me both hoss. Just explainin' to the OP why some consider it offensive

 

Thanks for the replies. The term "old-fashioned" combined with "outdated" were used to describe each of those
to me recently. I do all three consistently and without thinking about it honestly. It was just how I was raised or
taught I guess is a better way of detailing it. I do not mean offensive towards women like they are not capable
of getting the door themselves or anything of the sort.
It is amazing how easily another person can get offended even when there is zero intent to offend.

 

Not offensive, but standing up when a woman leaves the room in business, could be offensive. I have different views of this depending on if I’m at work or outside of work.

 

To me, it does not matter if it's work or leisure that premise is the same. Maybe, it is old fashioned and maybe that's ok

 

It's okay to you, but maybe a woman in business would find it demeaning. Not offensive...but as if to say you're drawing a line between men and women at that moment, in business. You don't stand up for men when they leave the table, why?

 

I either wasn't taught proper 20th century etiquette or taught 21st century etiquette early because I didn't know the getting up out of the seat when a lady excuses herself was even a thing.

 

It’s not ^^ lol

 

It was definitely taught where I grew up. Maybe, it is a regional/southern thing or maybe
I had a misinformed teacher..................

 

Is someone telling you you are wrong for doing these things?

 

Eric,
it was an observation from a good friend...just got me to thinking about it
nothing in malice or mean spirited just an observation

 

If a guy stands up by himself when a woman excuses herself from the table, and the other men don’t get up, the woman might feel awkward. I get wanting to seem polite but it could backfire and make people feel awkward. That’s just how I see it.

 

thanks for the insight
you are probably right (as you usually are)

 

politeness is nice and I was brought up that way but how many times do you hold a door open for someone for them to just walk through (male or female ) without so much as a thank you in fact not acknowledge it at all then you start to think Fuck it