Manipulative men and women

I've come to the understanding that good men and good women can recognize manipulators of their gender in a certain way those of the opposite sex often do not.

I can very easily recognize this type of woman, but not so much with men. I've had male friends help me to see this in men I've been involved with and it was clear as day to them.

I've decided to always have a male friend I can trust very well to verify the intentions and level of danger with a potential mate and I'd encourage others to do the same.

Do you have a friend of the gender of your choice that you can trust to weed out manipulative partners?

Have you done this for your friends or had friends do it for you?

 

Yeah I could see this about you.

 

How not coincidental!

 

It is a coincidence, I haven't logged or seen you in a while. Whats wrong with stating an opinion? You just did.

 

I have a good male friend I've known since childhood and he's always been honest about the guys I've dated. He was right about all of them, including my current beau who my friend described as a "cool ass dude" the first time he met him.

 

It's not coincidental that you would respond to my thread by trying to derive some kind of personal assessment of me. In actuality your statement doesn't make any sense. You can't see anything about me.

Thanks for responding Meliai...I was in a long-term relationship for so long I never really had a chance to see this until just recently. I mean I've known that I can spot a manipulative "man-eater" woman a mile away because I understand how and what they're doing and I've seen it up close and personal with family members and "friends", but I didn't realize men, good men, have this ability too. It's awesome!

 

i don't know, i have female friends, but they tend to reject other females for me based on completely random reasons rather than actual incompatibility and such.

i've pointed out manipulative boyfriends to my female friends before, but they just make excuses to continue being manipulated, and cheated on, and verbally/emotionally abused, etc.

 

A friend once told me when I told her she was being played by this guy that she knew she was being played she was no fool but sometimes it's fun being in the game for a while and letting him "play" u. She also once said sometimes a bitch has to make a bitches own mistakes.

On the flip side a male friend once asked me how I felt about his gf now this was after I had the conversation with my female friend so I was practicing keeping my opinions to myself and letting them live their lives and make their own mistakes but anyway he had asked so I felt I had to answer so I asked him are u sure u want my honest opinion and he said yes so I told him all that made her a bad person and he agreed with these things but said he still loved her anyway.

People do what they wanna do so I don't bother with warning them anymore if I see something dangerous on its way I will say something just for my own sake so when it does happen and it often times does indeed happen the way I thought it would I feel ok with myself having warned them.

 

I do have friends (male) who have at times picked up on something that I did not. Like most people it does not mean that I listened or that they were necessarily right.

I think you have to be really cautious when getting into another persons relationship as usually it does not tend to be appreciated or wanted. I have seen it backfire and the person trying to be helpful becomes a target.

Unless it was an abusive situation I probably would simply keep my opinion to myself, even if asked. Asking does not mean a person really wants to know, it often means they want a forum to justify why they do not think you are right.

 

How can I not see you?? lol I've read your text. *shrugs*

Men can spot it of course. There are male manipulators too.

 

Thats just being manipulative

 

I can pretty much feel my way about it....if I am being manipulated or not......or someone is trying to, then something just does not feel right......
Two people connecting on any level should not have these kinds of doubts and hurts.....things should pretty much flow pretty easily....and I don't mean seeing eye to eye on everything, as no one does.

 

I think I'm a pretty accurate judge of character for both sexes.

 

I feel confident in my ability to judge the character of either also.

 

Sometimes you (I ) notice, sometimes you don't. I have it on occasion pointed out to me (don't really have someone of the opposite sex do that on a regular basis though ) and I often notice fellow men and their intentions but to be honest: I have the feeling if I can spot it, most ladies can and will too.

 

I think many of you will be surprised at how many people are in abusive relationships and get stuck in that pattern...they cannot see when unhealthy boundaries are being crossed. I don't have to bring a lot of people to my "male friend" that I trust. I've only ever talked to him about 2 guys.

 

i don't think too many people will be surprised, at least assuming you're including verbal and emotional abuse. i mean, anyone who's friends with women hears at least once a week something roughly along the lines of "he's so mean to me, why does he keep cheating on me/controlling me/ignoring me/etc? i love him and we're going to get married!"

 

I don't ever hear friends talk about any of the things you're talking about up there! I spend time specifically in groups of survivors of abuse and talk with women who are realizing they've been abused and I never hear anything like that. It's much more subtle and sometimes much more shocking. It's not talked about very often, because a lot of women/men don't realize there's anything wrong with their relationships. And yes, I'm talking about any kind of abuse.

 

I'he been the warner both with friends IRL and in my tarot reading role, and they may think they want to know, but they can sure disconnect when the answer isn't what they want it to be.

 

well of course they're not quite so blunt about it, i did hyperbole a bit. but not that much.

from what i've seen, they all seem to realize there's something wrong with their relationships. but then they always come up with ridiculous excuses for staying in those relationships anyway.