Man seeking Spirit

I don't have a great love story because my persuits have always been more internal in nature and like everyone here there was a poit in time when I walked away from what was really important to go and search for materialism. I found it and after a long hard life of constant work and neglecting my family and myself i rose to a place very near the top of the pile of shit that I worked in. Then a very close friend who was my boss got cancer. He put up the good fight but in the end the cancer took him. In the mean time I tried to fill his shoes and keep the operation going that had become our lives. The big coorporate gurus in their in their infinite wisdom sent an asshole to oversee and help out in something that he knew nothing about. Shortly after it all he got fired but in the mean time he made my life a living hell. Long story short, I too ended up in the hospital with a near heart attack and borderline breakdown. There was only one person who called while I was there and that was the man that in a week would be dead from cancer. we Talked for a bit and I soon leaned what real wisdom and real friendship is.

from that day since my life has changed. I have been peeling of layer after layer of crud that took thirty years to put on not unlike taking off the multiple layers of clothes that one bundles up with in the winter time. I have been to the top of a pile of shit and it was still just a pile of shit. I have come away from it all with a deep dislike for conflict both verbal and physical. It is not important and I do not have time for it and a lot of other nonsense. I have been reborn and there is so little time to make up that superfilous things have no meaning to me. I can't love enough. I can't feel enough. I can't experience enough in the four years since all of that happened.
whaooo...that was a bucket full of catharsis...sorry for that but just know that a lot of folks are re-awakening and for a lot of different reasons. Treasure what you have.

 

WOW bamboo how blessed you have been to truly have learned a hard lesson.

Sometimes we really have to be hit hard to see the lesson behind the pain.

I'm so happy you are here and wish you the best and every opportunity to pass along the wisdom and love you have gained.

teepi

 

go steelers

 

haha Patsy I just read your dream post.....yeah make love not war...seems I heard that somewhere...hahhaha

 

I don't have any wisdom to add, i just wanted to thank you all for sharing your hearts and stories. You have truly touched and lifted my heart! I think it was Earth Mama, you had some awesome suggestions that are practical and full of wisdom. I know I'm really new here but this thread makes me feel like I know you all. Do you mind if I share my story, in a nutshell? When I was a teen I ran away lots and travelled around the lower 48, met my husband when I was 16 and he 18, we have been together ever since! (I'm 42 and he is 44) We've had alot of ups and downs but always pull thru. We are like...a tribe...well; we have 7 children together so in sheer #s alone we ARE a tribe, lol! We have been thru everything together. We lost our first baby, we have raised some great---artistic--free thinking children, we are one-heart one mind in our worldview, we have grown lots thru our human foibles and frailities.
Last year we lived ain a larger area--Wichita area--and the chaos and high living expenses had us file chapter 13. We could have gone 7 but thought we would pull thru to do a 13. when our cafe couldn't even carry that we moved back up north to a farm we bought in the Y2K days (We're both avid conspiracy theorists ) and we are in the process of grounding our energy here. Surrounded by the flint hills, eagles soaring overhead; we have a little 3 acre farmstead in the middle of thank gods no-where! We are excited about fencing in a hilled, forested area for goats, putting in a grey water system, putting in fruit trees and a couple organic raised beds, growing older together, enjoying our children, and just being open and available to the wind of Spirit. Well, thats my story

 

Confession to make: I have seen some of Earthmother, Shameless Heifer and Teepi's posts on this forum before; I honor you as elder sisters and really value your wisdom that you all share. i heartfully say: Namaste!

 

ahhh i must confess that earth mama is just as wonderful and full of wisdom and good spirit in life as on here.... had me the wonderful opportunity to spend a wee bit of time with her and truly will never forget her,,,, n to think that teepi n heifer are much the same,,,,, ay caray,,,, sends chills through me to even think of it,,,, prolly cause me a sensory overload on the circuit boards of my brain er sumthin ...

 

WOW dilly that is a BEAUTIFUL pic.
You both look wonderful!!

 

HAHA Gaia maybe the wisdom in your post escaped you..but I saw a wealth of it.

You are living it!! Now THAT is wise.

 

Gaia The flint hills are beautiful and serene in many ways. i have friends there. One great friend and I used to go past Elderado and gather a grey shelf flint that one can find there. Him and I are both avid flint knappers (make arrow heads and spear points, etc.) the stuff was full of ancient fossils and heat treated well...took on a beautiful sheen when done right. He lives near Sedgwick I live much farther away. we always went to the spot in his beat up old jeep...had a grand time.

 

Wow... I am awestruck by everyone's beautiful life stories. It is really very comforting to be around people like yourselves who are in touch with their spirit.

The original poster said he had accepted a job for the next three years... I know I'm not one of these kindred spirits ("older hippies") but please, don't give up on rediscovering your spirit... there must be plenty of ways you can find it even with a 9 to 5 job. Stick around this place, for a start.