Man or Woman Forum

The thing is, in his original posts, (and most of those since) Jedi was not really that concerned with the young woman's SAFETY. He was pissed off because he "couldn't help" being distracted from his studying, and, I think more to the point, because she didn't appreciate it when she noticed hi leering at her. If when she noticed him, she responded in a more positie light, he'd probably be up here posting about the wonders of reealing clothing right now!

 

but you see, sometimes it does hurt other people as shown in this picture

http://www.mrdudeman.com/media/sexy_crash.jpg :H

 

hahaha , yea i know right, that could be it. However, it hurt my feelings though that i had to look and dissapoint her -and that made me feel really guilty and rant here. Anyway, i really wish there was a switch that you could turn on to get your guy to look at you while all the other guys are just not affected, but thats just wishful thinking.
I guess i understand after reading your posts in another light that maybe its just natural the way we wish to go after these things. Although I may dissappoint other's by looking, i shouldn't care just like she doesn't care to not wear, so its really there for me to look and for her to enjoy me looking unless she doesn't want me to look... then in that case we both get dissappointed and go by our way... oh well. Thanks for your insightful posts.

 

My rule of thumb generally is look as much as you like but do not stare, if you look but you dont stare you have nothing to feel weird about, and staring is much easier to control then just having a look.

 

My boyfriend is very talented in that whole "look but not stare" thing - he works in a fabric store, and often young women are coming in asking questions like "how much fabric will I need for this dress?" and "which cut will look better on me?" He's got some talent...!

 

What about the girls with the words printed on their ass? My favorite is the one that says "PINK"...LMAO....pink indeed.
I personally feel that women should expect to be stared at when dressed provacatively. I do not feel that I should look away quickly, if the woman decides to dress in that manner. Of course any rapist who uses that as an excuse is full of sht.
I think as Jedi gets old (like me), he will get used to it. I am 34 and can not in good conscience be looking at girls. I am just too old. The clothing SEEMS skimpier to me than it was when I was that age, but I can't be sure. Could be that I didn't appreciate it as much as I should have or that my memory sucks. So I have gotten used to staring at the ground when women that I consider too young for me to be looking at walk by (or are sitting in the library). My point is that, in time, Jedi will have to be doing the same thing. Once that level of self control is acieved, he will no longer have this problem.
And I hope to god I never have a daughter.

 

It's just a matter of putting yourself in their shoes, if a gay man or a woman i found unnattractive was staring at me i would feel uncomfortable, but if they just had a few looks i probably wouldnt even notice.

It's not about limiting your reactions as much as it is controlling your behaviour.

 

Jedi. I think the problem is your attempting to suppress your own sexuality. There is nothing wrong with finding womyn attractive. Although I don't dress "provacatively" (At least, I don't think so) I've had men stare at me, in sweat pants, or dresses or shorts or jeans, or whatever. What I was wearing might have an impact on the number of men (or womyn) looking, but, face it, people LOOK at other people. People like to look at attractive people, AND that makes them horny. Word. Accepting that you are human, and that chicks turn you on is NOT a bad thing, dude. Really.

The problem is, you feel turned on, and then get angry at the girl for "doing this" to you. NOT a healthy response to normal horny feelings. The best solution would be to partner up. I mean, maybe this sounds silly, but getting laid can really be the best solution for............horniness. Getting pissed off because you are horny is not good for you, other womyn, other dudes or society at large. Admit the horniness, and act, APPROPRIATELY on it.

My dh gets really irritable when he's horny. (Although he never blames sexy ladies for it.) And, he says I do too. Getting it on is the best cure for this. We've known this for many years. Humanity, as well as other mammals have known it for millions of years.

Get some. Jedi. Really, you'll feel better. Have a relationship, but don't DICTATE to her what she can and can't do, or what you expect in detail. It is hard to find someone, but if you are at college, there are thousands of womyn. That stuff gets backed up, and you get mad at womyn who are really just minding their own business. I do not mean this as an affront or as an insult. But, the best release for this kind of thinking or feeling is......Release.

Think about it. There are a lot of girls out there. Just don't be toooooooo picky or expect perfection in them.

JMNSHO.

 

LOL Maggie, thats just hilarious, but thank you for the advice though

 

Nice post Maggie

 

Best to y'all.

Strains of "We gotta get you a woman" by Tom Petty (is that right, or was it someone else?) are going through my head.

 

Well, the way I see things is like this: women copy each other. And because some women dress like that, the others believe this is the way they should or maybe they just think, well, I could do that too... in a way it may be some sort of revenge or rebellious thing... something like "I'd like to be a bad woman too" (Gwendolyn Brooks, "In the Front Yard")...

 

Bitch bitch bitch, nag nag nag, whatever.

In high school, I had to see girls in mini skirts and tank tops. All kinds of girls, all shapes and sizes. Y'know what? I also had to see guys in wifebeaters and baggy jeans with their boxers hanging out all over the place.
And y'know what? I was the fucking distraction. I was the attention-grabber. I wasn't half-naked, I wasn't loud and obnoxious, I pretty much just dressed decent (jeans and a tank top or tee shirt, always carried a sweater just in case) and left people alone, and I was the big thing in high school, the one that everybody knew OF, but didn't know. Like I said, I was the attention-grabber, the main distraction. Why? Just 'cause I have piercings, and had dreads in high school. I dressed like any other teenage girl that dressed half-decent, everything was covered between my shoulders and my ankles (with the exception of wearing tank tops and going barefoot on hot days) and I was the distraction because I had dreads and piercings.

Would you ask me to take out my piercings because you "don't want to stare and make me uncomfortable"? Would you ask me to please brush my hair because "dreads are dirty, I don't want to see that"? No, from the way it sounds, you wouldn't because you wouldn't want to sound disrespectful. So what would you do? Stare? Or just look away, not wanting to be rude? It's your choice.

 

The only thing that i hate, is when a woman dresses very provocatevly and when you drool and stare, they act all offended...I think that they have the right to dress with whatever they want to, but they should accept the consequences and stop bitching about "oh, he keeps staring at my boobs, how horrible".

 

:lol:You? modest? lol

 

Jedi, sounds to me like you are the one with the problem, not the females around you. As a practicle solution, if you can't seem to turn down the hormones in public, why don't you make sure to "releve the presure" before you leave the house.

Have you ever considered that your views on women might need to be reexamined. I find them crass and offensive.

 

Condescending... terribly condescending. This whole post is rather fucking insulting, if you ask me...

What trash!!

 

Please don't insult Druminmama. She is certainly a modest womyn, a good mother, and a good person. That was not only uncalled for, it was innappropriate. STOP.

This thread is over.