Man or Woman Forum

You know buddy, people wear what they want to and if you dont like it...fine but shut up and learn a few things. I know Im not that old, but i would never subject to telling women or men or anyone for that matter what they can and cannot wear.

 

I also have the right to not get distracted while I am studying, right? So, if I go to the part of the library that is popular for people to hold their study groups, they should just shut the hell up so that I don't get distracted?

Either get over it or move. Two very simple choices. Frankly, if you're really that concerned with studying, why do you even notice her at all? I mean, you have to look up from your book to notice whether the girl across the room is wearing a miniskirt or baggy sweatpants. Frankly, from that perspective, this ranting about what women are wearing sounds more like scapegoating them for your own scholarly inadequacies...

 

If you dress to attract attention, you should expect to get attention, AND expect that not all of it will come from your intended target. If you don't want to cope with that unwanted attention, then don't dress that way.

For some women, this is a realization they need to come to as they mature. For other women, this is irrelevant because, if you are not her intended target, you don't count. Your unwanted attention is not a problem because she doesn't care about you -- and will either make some smart-assed comment to you or completely ignore you.

Either way, they still get to dress how they like and you get to cope. If you don't like how you feel about yourself when you look at them, that is entirely on you to cope with -- that is not the women's problem.

 

b ullshit!!!!! when its hot out..men have the right to dowhat? yes thats right, wear no shirt
ever think women get hot as well?
why should only women have to suffer in heat just to cover breasts? breasts that everuy woman has..whats the bbig deal
seriusly go spend some time at a nudist colony & realixze that skin means nothing if you stop thinking of it as something shameful

 

now seriusly, iknow women who do roofing for a living, theyre upthere on a hot roof all day working..with a crew thats all men.. when its hot, tney all take off theyre shitrts..men & women..& goright on working
maybe the 1st time it was a distraction..for like 5 minutes.. but after that u dont even notice..it sounds tome like u have a fettish or something that u just cant control
why do u have to look at a miniskirt as beoing meant to be enticing?
hell i know a guy..with a beard..& as far as i know hes straight..who wears minidresses all the time, cause hes confyin them..not cause hes tryin toentice anyone

its very ovios the problem is all in your eyes..inyour mind
what about like catholic school uniforms.. many guys have fettishes about that shcoolgirl look..but are they trying to be enticing?

your pretty quick toblame women for your own weaknesses
& who are you to say whats decent appropriate dress?
for me & many others nudity is perfectly appropriate if the weathers hot..
soeveryone on earth should just addopt your values?
i doubt theyre even your values..ibet u have no issies with seeing the upper thigh as u sit in a strip club all night stuffin $ in a g string huh?

have u ever even concidered the problem is u not them?

 

I think I know what Jedi means.

People nowadays seem to dress as though clothing is has to be completely sexually charged. The woman in the miniskirt wasn't hot in this case soaringeagle, it's quite cold outside. Jedi is probably upset because dressing provocatively at an academic institution is unecessary.

A miniskirt is one thing, but thongs and bra straps everywhere you look while chatting with appropriately dressed profs makes you wonder why there is a need to expose one's undergarments and one's self to get attention this way in an academic setting. If what one wears doesn't matter - why are some woman going to great lengths to show off their bodies at an academic institution in the first place?

 

some people only feel good about themselves in certain clothes, certain styles, they doit because it makes them feel good abbout themselves as a woman..men do this too, but never seem to catch shit for it
if a man works out & wears muscle shirts or tight jeans does anyone get bent out of shape about it?
i wear sleevless shitrts in winter myself, but its not an attempt to get anyone turned on
its what im confortable in
i'm just saying wwho should be the 1 to decide whats appropriate?
should we have a national dress code? & enforce it bylaw?

 

And what the intended target is the professor? In the library, the intended targets are the books or her study group buddy? This is getting pretty pathetic. Also, in response to your sarcastic comment, It is a library and they should shut the hell up , they have a special place called group study rooms to hold their study groups. I do it too and my study groups are noisy, this is not the issue here. The issue here is that young girls are getting so pathetic when they wear clothing that seems to be degrading to both them and the individual who looks upon them when there is no need of such attention, especially in an academic setting, and you know what its annoying and distracting.

And also whats with this "[you are] scaegoating them[women] for your own scholarly inadequecies" ? What do you know of my achievements or my GPA? don't make this personal with out knowing anything about me or my life.

 

You are taking this to the extreme, no one asking her to "not wear" what she wants but limit such clothing to something that covers her body just like how men wear to cover their bodies. If you can not comprehend this or atleast come up with a valid point to criticize, I think the discussion here is over.

 

you don't get it, do you? You think that your opinion should dictate how other people dress themselves??? What if someone decided they didn't want to see your face, and you should always wear a paper bag over it? How is that any different than what you are saying? The problem with nudity is not with the nudists themselves, but with other's perceptions of morality that they feel should be inflicted upon everyone else. Does it make you feel better about yourself to put other people down? Maybe you should take a moment to think about why that is, why you are attacking this girl rather than looking inward to find the real issue that lies within yourself. Rather than deciding how other people should live, maybe you should be worried about what can you do to be a better person. Because ultimately, that is all you have any control over, yourself. You might want to have a say in other people's lives, but it's not your place.

 

This is silly, jedi is NOT. trying to repress a woman, or a mans, sexual /expressive /natrual freedom.

he was simply saying that This girl who was alone at midnight, wearing a mini skirt, was putting herself at a risk, and if she had been his sister, he would have walked her home and told her not to wear clothes like that when she was alone at night.

of course everyone has their right to choose, of course you can wear nothing or anything. well you can, you might get arrested but so what?!

personally i dont understand it, the make up, bleach, skirts and everything. its such a trend and i have friends from all walks of life.. and the thing is.. the girls who wear low cut tops do love... you to look, comment and adore...so they are happy with that. thats fair enough.

the thing with me is that i find they only go 'so far' they havent much greater sense of the world.

anyway, its good as well becuase they are beautiful creatures and that what nature intended.

personally, i prefer a bit of character. especially in women... women are cool as cats, when theyre real...not some made up sex object..thats just one side. i hate it when women limit themselves. or feel like that i all they have to offer.

hey ho. such is life.

 

Um, yeah, no.

Sometimes I have a lowcut shirt on because it's too hot out to be covered to my neck. Or it's laundry day and that's all I have left for clean clothes. That's a pretty silly assumption to make.

 

hmm hmm hmm...

your walking a very dangerous line when you imply that the way you think a female student should dress is the "right" way; a little fascist, don't you think?

if you're worried about a girl being raped because she is wearing a short skirt, perhaps it would be better to criticize the hypothetical man who sees a woman's clothes as an invitation and act on that issue rather than attacking a woman's choice of clothing.

 

Are you that dense? The intended targets are her peers, her classmates, the handsome young fellow studying across the room. If she does not find you attractive, then you are not her intended target, regardless of how attractive anyone else would or would not find you. But, had she thought you were hot, maybe had you been wearing the right trendy clothes or had the right frat insignia on your shirt, then she would have probably appreciated your attention.

Though, to be fair, there are a few girls for whom, yes, the professor is the intended target. In which case, you could only explain the miniskirt at the library at midnight as she did not go home to change before going to the library.

No, I don't know your gpa or achievements. I do know that, as a grad student (so beyond you in years and achievements), there are days when I am easily distracted by people walking by, chewing their gum loudly, chatting quitely, etc., while there are days when none of that phases me. The things that distract me are noises that cause me to look up, not just what some random stranger sitting quietly in a chair across the room is wearing.

The big difference here is that, when people distract me, I recognize that it's my fault for being easily distracted, so I should go have another cup of coffee, read in a quieter location, etc. I don't blame other people for participating in normal behavior. Sure, if someone is having a loud conversation in a quiet area of the library, I'll call them an ass. But, if I find their clothing distracting, that's my own damn fault for being easily distracted from the page I'm trying to focus my eyes upon.

It's a matter of taking responsibility for my own failings that day, rather than scapegoating some kid for wearing the wrong outfit or chewing gum or quietly standing on his head or whatever.

 

i gotta say i really like this thread, its inspiring alotta really passionate debate, from both sides

jedi..i gotta wonder..when u went tothe library to study..did youpurposely dress as nondescript as you could to avoid any chance of distracting someone? were you wearring plain grey sweatpants & plain white t shirt with nothing on it?
or did u wear clothes u were confortable in..maybe you shirt had some cute lil picture onit? ever think someone might be distracted by how you dresssed? or even by how you choose to wear your hair?
we dress the way we do for confort or because we like the way we look..odviosly you liked the way she looked cause u were looking right?
if you walked in & noticed she was distracted by you..would u run home & change? hell no you wouldnt..youd go backthe next dayin tighter jeans hoping to distract her even more so maybe shed really notice you..
if u sat there staring & sweatting for anhour, she'll ofcourse think shes doing something right & the next day wear something even morte revealling

we get validation of our desireableness based onthe attention we receive

sittin there staring only reinforces her desire to dress that way right?

also, you gotta understand that [people in earlier life receive attention differently & in different levels
so where one girl may only feel appreciated if your raving about her poetry or her thoughts, another wouldnt care less unless ya were drooling over her legs or breasts we all seek & ccept attention differently based onour experiences

i know that wasnt all that clear..but..

 

To improve my quality of life? I need something to stare at with half an hour left in a 3 hour lecture.

 

look without your perceptions of the body being a shameful thing you could sit through the most boring lecture ever with 1/2 the ppl there naked & not be distracted
and at times when drumming sure i might get distracted a momment by a beautiful naked sister dancin nearby, for a momment or 2.. & when shed notice i noticed wed both just really re-focus on the drummin & dancin & be even just a lil more into it
dunno what my point would be in an acedemic setting ..but maybe like just appreciate the fact that she took some time to make her look a waythat shes used to ppl thinkin of as looking good... for the people around her
if u get distracted..acknowledge the distraction...& get back to what your doin..if u cant control your eyes..turn your chair away..

 

The thing is, the woman in the miniskirt was probably very cold.

Even if she was dressing the way that she wanted to that day or for the few minutes she went into the library to study, one could argue that her attire was still inappropriate in accordance with the weather outside.

Bikinis shouldn't be worn as attire at a school, and nor should everyone be walking around and sitting naked for hygenic reasons - not to mention the energy it would take to heat a place like that for people to be comfortable in the fall and winter.

She can wear her miniskirt all she wants, and I will continue to think that she may not have the best judgement on what to wear on a cold day.

 

you make it sound like requesting modesty is throwing the entire womanhood into slavery.
First of all you are not seeing the problem itself, the classroom or the library is not a place to find targets. sure, we have a little bar/coffee thing on campus, and another bar really close to the campus, why can't she just go there with her miniskirt to find men. To wear miniskirts and find men at the library when half of the other people are seriously studying is not the way to go.

It is rude, it is wrong, it is derogatory to wear such things in a professional setting then why isn't it rude to wear something like that in an academic setting?. You don't have the right to go to your job or lab dressed like that. Well, maybe you wouldn't dress like that for a lab because of safety reasons, but you wouldn't meet your professor dressing like that. Then why not be modest in the library/classroom and save us all these ridiculous problems.
You are a grad student, so you must atleast TA one class... wouldn't it distract you if all the guys come in half naked for their "intended targets" to notice them? I was an undergrad TA , I had these problems, I can't seem to control my eyes when girls wear slutty clothing, its distracting and I need to go through hell of alot of suffering to stop and keep my eyes on their eyes when talking to them.
You can say I am imposing my own biases to things, maybe i am , but I think there are definitely situations where one should not dress this way to get a certain "intended target's" attention.

yes i agree with you here.

 

it is daft to wear a mini skirt if you are a girl on your own in a city at night. full stop. it is just plain stupid. she will get cold, and increase the risk of being hassled, or grabbed, or whatever. and to be frank those kind of clothes send out a certain message. which men respond to instinctively. noones to blame, and its not right or wrong, its just that in most contexts its a stupid idea.