Making the effort to talk to girls

Okay. To clarify, what I said it qouted above. All I meant was that is good you are not planning on developing any grudges. Keep a positive attitude, and have positive thoughts about people and you'll be a lot better off. Give people the benifit of the doubt. In other words, don't assume people are making fun of you or talking about you, just because they looked in your direction. Maybe try smiling at them and saying hi when they look in your direction. Have a nice day!

 

Look it up. Yin is the dark, the feminine (as in the inside of a vagina, yang is the sunny, light, the masculine (as in a penis). Yin is night, yang is day.
Noone is completely yin or yang - all guys have degrees of femininity, and all women have degrees of masculinity.

Chris, in an earlier post you worried about looking feminine - with a feminine shape and soft body, and that this would make you gay. But this has nothing to do with being gay - that is a state of mind, and many people believe that homosexuality is largely hereditary or determined at birth, due to a strong yin factor in a guy, or a strong yang factor in a girl.

 

damn sounds like you have a lot of spare time/problems maybe you should smoke some pot it could really ease your mind. I bet it sucks to have no friends when your family is far away. Do you live in the states because you are really young to be in college since sept 05 im 17 going to turn 18 feb 16 and still a jr. in highschool. i am a year older than 80% percent of my class doesnt bother me at all, might even take a year brake before i go to college either way i plan to learn a lot and have fun.

 

NO, I DON'T live in the States, i'm from the UK and live in England. I don't know how they do things abroad, but over in the UK & Ireland, the school leaving age is 16.

I mean do you seriously think that smoking pot will ease someone's mind? - Are you mad?

 

Smoking pot does ease most people's mind who smoke it.

 

It messes people's minds up more like.

 

You know very little of marijuana, quite surprising considering you live in a country where it is basically legal too.

 

Well I don't take the stuff and never touched it, and I don't know why you're so surprised.

I know that drugs etc can be harmful, and the effects of smoking cannibis, weed or some other drug, so I'M NOT stupid.

 

smoking cannabis [not cannibis] doesn't make somebody stupid. not being able to spell does though...

 

Aren't you just full of compassion.

Don't smoke pot Chris. It won't solve your problems.

 

well, sorry i'm not compassionate to a homophobe.

 

I've read in previous posts though you wish you could drink a few beers at school to relax around people, marijuana could do the same.

 

If you aren't compassionate to me or dislike me, then fine. I don't mock people or make fun of them because of their sexuality, but I don't exactly approve of gays.

Lesbians are alright, but gay lads - NO!!!

Watching two girls snogging isn't as bad as watching two guys doing it, and seeing guys do it would probably make some people throw up and vomit.

 

only narrow minded nitwits...

 

Chris, I think your problem is that you are too quick to say what you want, but can't/won't say what you can give in return.

Think about job interveiws for a minute. When you go to a job interveiw, you don't say right away how much pay you expect, how many hours you must work, how much vacation time, etc. If you do, they won't hire you. But, if you say all the things you can contribute to the organization, and how you will do what you can to be a valuable asset to the company, they will be much more likely to hire you.

Try to apply this to the relationships in your life. You say you will only go out with pretty girls. They can't be fat. They can't be full of themselves. They can't be tall. Okay, fine, I have no problems with that. You know exactly what you want. That must be better than being hopelessly indecisive. But don't tell the whole world that, because people will decide that you are too much trouble to be worth it. Instead, try to think of why people will want to be friends with you, and play those attributes up.

Do you like to read? Go to the library. Strike up a conversation with somebody about what books they are looking for. Talk about what books you like. Maybe they are looking for a friend who likes books too.

And don't be picky! Be friendly to everyone. Maybe you don't want to go out with that girl in your class, but maybe she has a friend you are interested in. If you are friends with her, her friends will probably want to friends with you too.

Just try to be a likable person. You don't have to try to be friends to everyone, just be kind to them. Probably, they will start to feel bad that they were ever mean to you.

And don't say that being friendly will make people think you are "soft". "Nice" doesn't mean "homosexual". If that were true, all the nice girls you like must be lesbians!

friend·ly
1. characteristic of or befitting a friend; showing friendship: a friendly greeting.
2. like a friend; kind; helpful: a little friendly advice.
3. favorably disposed; inclined to approve, help, or support: a friendly bank.
4. not hostile or at variance; amicable: a friendly warship; friendly natives.

un·friend·ly
1. not amicable; not friendly or kindly in disposition; unsympathetic; aloof: an unfriendly coldness of manner.
2. hostile; antagonistic: an unfriendly act of aggression.
3. unfavorable; inhospitable or inimical, as an environment: an unfriendly climate for new ideas.

 

I have a good male friend who is completley socially enept who I used to like as more than friends. It was his oddness that drew me to him. He was always wearing wierd ncklaces and kept his sunglasses on all the time. I always wondered what he was about and shamlessly flirted with him because his uniqueness intrigued me and no one else at work really took effort to try and get to know him. He ended up being very highly educated at a great university, a writer and a former elem. school teacher. Him isolating himself and not wanting to open up to me at first set off a red flag in my head so I didn't persue a relationship. But if he were more open and honest with his feelings I think we would be more than friends right now.
His hard shell made me afraid of getting hurt though. Most girls like really soft guys. I know I do anyway. I'm not into setting myself up for a failed relationship.
But him taking a chance by partially opening up to me gained him a great confidant and beer buddy. And when he seems ready to date I will sure as hell hook him up with somone hella hot.
He told me it was hard for him to open up-he took a risk. was open and honest. You should do the same and maybe you'll meet a really nice girl who likes you for you, whether it be romantically or just a great friendship.

 

Well there's no way i'd say right away how much pay I expect, how many hours I must work, how much vacation time, etc.

I can't apply this to relationships, and there's no way i'd go out with some fat minger - I'm too smart for that.

There aren't many girls around in the library, and most people are busy with their mates etc. Also, some of the girls tend to be asian and chinese/japanese and i'd rather talk to someone of my ethnicity and background than some other.

I've said this many times, and i'll say it again, nice is soft, and it makes me feel like a wimp - I hate being Mr Nice Guy and being all soft, then people thinking i'm really nice and it makes me feel like i'm some sort of joke and people will take me for some kind of prat.

 

whats wrong with an asian girl? why limit yourself. some of the cutest girls i've met and known were asian. not to say that i don't know any cute white girls or spanish or black...don't limit yourself man.

and chris, you aren't tough. you get your idea of tough from some character on TV...thats not tough. i'm a nice guy, but i dont' let people run all over me. a tough guy can look deeply in himself and express his feelings and be comforting to others. tough is being confident in who you are and the actions you take - its having an awesome attitude about life and not letting other peoples thoughts of you worry you - its grabbing life by the balls and making life what you want - its being there for your friends when they need a shoulder to cry on and then cheering them up. tough isn't what a TV character displays, it isn't the type of clothes you wear, it isn't walking around trying to look like you shouldn't be messed with, etc...

 

There's nothing wrong with them, but I prefer someone that's of my ethnicity - Don't take it the wrong way and accuse me of being racist because i'm not.

Alright, i'm not tough in the way of going around hitting people and fighting etc, but i'm tough in the way that i'm determined, hard-working and the approach that I take towards things - This doesn't mean i'm soft does it, and you DO understand what I mean don't you?

I have this reputation for being tough, and some people are too scared to cross me and don't want to get in my way and last week one girl sort of moved out my way as if she couldn't bear to be near me, so the front has worked.

I HAVEN'T got idea off a TV character at all, and although my leather jacket and is similar to his, i'm not fat, bald and red-faced like him. He has also got a rough/husky/whispery voice, and i'm nothing like that at all.

On my first day of this current year at college, back in September 2006, one of the support teachers in class spoke to me in a class tutorial, and she was saying to me how determined I was, and how I had a lot of guts, but I thought to myself "I wouldn't say that courage is one of my strong qualities."

 

Is that really what you want though?