Making the effort to talk to girls

I think your problem is that you are only 17 and already in college, and if you are young-looking for 17, as I was, and immature emotionally as well, college can be difficult. Most of the girls are looking for older guys, and you don't fit that look. Hang in there - things will get better with age.

 

Well most guys and girls at college are like 16yrs old or in their early 20s.

As for most of the girls are looking for older guys, I disagree because most of the girls are a similar age to me or maybe a bit younger and also, I dress like a young man, NOT a lad and that makes me look older rather than younger. I'm mature for my years, and at the end of this month (January) i'll be 18.

I wouldn't necessarily say that age is a problem and it shouldn't be used against me or as an excuse.

I'm a lot more mature than all the other lads in my class, and I have got quite a young face and although I dress like a young man, I still don't quite look old enough and I don't know what to do.

I've thought seriously about getting drunk at college, and it's the only way it will i'll get attention from people and get them to realise what i'm going through.

 

Did you mean it when you said that or were you being sarcastic?

 

nope, that's probably not the result you'd get
Maybe if you'd had some friends, they would notice. But it sounds like most people at your school aren't friends with you. So, if you did that, you'd simply become gossip material, mocked and talked about but doubtfully helped at all.
If you want help, if you want someone to acknowledge what you're going through, go see a -real- psychologist and get yourself a proper diagnosis and some real help. Like Bella said, a sessional (I believe that was the word used, anyways, not a fully fledged psychologist) cannot diagnose you with something, not without someone else's opinion and a fair amount of time analyzing what's going on with you.

 

You're probably right ihmurria about me becoming gossip material, mocked and talked about and not being helped at all. I personally don't want anyone to analyse what's going on with me and telling me what's what.

I left High School in June 2005 and have been at college since September 2005.

 

Besides Internet folk whom you keep making post after post about yourself, asking for input.

 

There really isn't anything wrong with me, apart from being unhappy and I haven't got schizophrenia or any other serious problems.

I never had friends at school and that didn't bother me, as I was just happy to just come in, do my work and then go home at the end of the day.

It's since i've been at college that i've been like I am, and unless I was in a job working 5 days a week and keeping myself busy working, and not having to sit around with nothing to do, then i'd be happier.

I just wish that I could get as far as I possibly can in I.T. at college and then leave the place and get a decent job keeping myself busy 5 days a week, making money and doing well there.

My primary school years were bad, my secondary school years were an improvement, and my college years have brought the problems i'm experiencing at the moment, and I just want to get my college years over and get myself a full-time job.

 

Fair enough. It was my first instinct anyways, which is why took me a long time to try and give you the benefit of the doubt thinking the way you were was might because of a condition. Especially since I knew how you'd react to a serious response anyways....

So fine. There's nothing wrong with you. You don't need help. You're just a natural self-absorbed asshole. If you want friends, you're going to have to get over yourself.

 

Well all my life, i've never really had any friends, so it's nothing new, but for some strange reason (which I really can't work out why) it seems to bother me at college.

I hate it when there's a load of nice girls around, with them talking to some of the other lads/girls and it makes me realise what i'm missing and that can trigger my anger off, and i'm sure most lads would feel the same if they saw a really beautiful girl with someone else.

I'm not bothered if I haven't got any friends outside college, but INSIDE college, I just need someone to talk to during the spare time at break and dinner, but I was on my own at school as well, and it didn't bother me.

I don't understand why I wasn't bothered about it at school, whereas it's bothering me now at college - It's probably the pretty girls that are about (these are rare indeed and aren't around often) and it makes me feel really bad, knowing that they'll be in company of others and wondering how they managed to attract one to be their friend, NOT their girlfriend (so don't be confused by that).

I'd be a much happier person at college if I talked to people more often, but most of them don't look in the least bit interested in me. I hate it when the lads are talking with the pretty girls and I feel like i'm missing out.

I'm sorry if it sounds silly, but it's true.

When i've said about getting a full-time etc, do you think that'll work?

When I was at school, there were some pretty girls about (there was a lot of nice girls in my form at school) and it didn't bother me as much then, because I was too busy in my lessons doing work at school.

 

You have alot of communications issues... you need to learn that a girl is a person. Talk to her like a person. People are busy with day to day things you have to make the effort to become friends with people.

 

Hey, hope things get better for you real soon, I really do. Im curious why you just want friends in college and not outside of it? Would outside 'real' friends be better than ones in college just to talk to during the break?

This is a pretty extreme reaction, I'm curious whats so wrong with being gay?

I hope you do whatever you feel will make you happier, and the problems are due to college. If the problems are more internal though they might follow you around. Lots of good vibes

Ripple.

 

I KNOW that a girl is A person and I WOULD talk to her like a person. As for people being busy with day-to-day things, yes I agree, and i'm busy myself at times, as I was at school.

A girl is a person, and what makes you think i'd talk to her differently instead of as A person? - I WOULDN'T talk to her as if she was something off the bottom of my shoe - NO FUCKING WAY WOULD I!!!

I'd talk to her like a friend and i'd enjoy her company.

Basically what you're saying to me is that they're too busy with their own lives to even want to talk with me? - Well fair enough because i'm too busy with my own life as well.

 

Well of course friends OUTSIDE college would be better than ones just IN college to talk to, but with me being like I am, just doing my own thing at home (spending most time on the PC) and I just don't think i've ever had it in me to make a good friend - I SIMPLY JUST HAVEN'T GOT IT IN ME.

I'm being honest with myself, and the fact that I haven't got friends AT HOME doesn't bother me too much.

Well there's nothing extreme in it, there's plenty wrong with being gay, as 99.9% of people would totally disapprove of you, and they'd be thugs that want to cause homophobic thuggery and I read about a story where a homophobic thug attacked one guy and his face ended up like a bloody, swollen pump ended up dead. Gay people talk weird, look weird, walk weird and act weird - TOTALLY WEIRD PEOPLE THEY ARE!!!

I think it's fair to say that college has brought all this on, whereas if I was at work, this thing would get swept under the carpet again and be less of an issue.

As for vibes, what's good about them!!???

 

But see, even in this post, you're talking to a woman as though she's something off the bottom of your shoe.

Even here, on the internet, you write without an ounce of respect for those trying to help you. I can't even imagine what you'd be like to deal with face to face.

 

Well aside from the fact that Ihmurria's right, a lot of girls don't want to be hit on while there buzy.

But theres no bad time to meet a girl. If she's buzy, say I'll catch you around or something.

Talking to a girl is pretty easy. It'll go easier if you find a common intrest, and you can find that out pretty easy?

What's she reading? Is that your major?

She likes Literature. Talk about Hemmingway.

She into sports medecine, talk about how rocky 5 was so so.

Taking to girls is a lot harder in your brain then it is to speak to a woman,

 

Seems to me that you want friends in college just so people dont think you are weird. All your posts seem to be about other peoples opinions of you, and your opinions of them. Perhaps you should go see a councellor? Even if you have tried that before perhaps try a different one...Or even your parents?

Have you been diagnosed with aspergers? If so have you accepted the fact you have it? Not wanting to tell people about it suggests you are embarrased about it. Being overly concerned about other peoples opinions of yourself isn't healthy, and if it is effecting your daily life then it is a problem.

 

Well I wouldn't be as rude or swear as much if spoken to face to face - If you spoke to me, I wouldn't be as bad, although I wouldn't exactly be happy or take too kindly to some of the stuff.

 

Counselling I tried, but in the end it was a waste of time.

I've spoke to my parents about these sort of things before, although I don't agree with them or take their advice, as they're not always right.

I got diagnosed with Aspergers when I was 10, and yes i've accepted it, and it's a very mild form of it and nothing major.

As for the wanting to tell people, well when I spoke to the 3 girls back in September, I opened up and was very straight and upfront about it and they didn't think I was weird.

 

You remind me of a bird with a broken wing hopping around on the ground haha.

 

You think you're so funny don't you!!???