Make a wish game..

Your mother is suddenly a great person, because you've grown up enough to realise you were the one being the spoiled little shit.

I wish I my friend would call so we can leave.

 

RING, your friend calls...from jail...needs bail.



I wish I was gonna get to see the cure on august tenth in belgium.

 

Granted, but on the way, you get stuck in traffic and barely make it there. You lost your ticket so you have to buy one off a scalper for 3 times the price. It rains.Then, as they're about to let people in, a huge riot breaks out, kids are trampled, and the show's cancelled.



I wish I had some pringles.

 

granted, but you get your hand caught in the can.



I wish I knew why my lungs hurt

 

the answer is between your right index and middle fingers.

I wish these japanese beetles would leave my grapevines alone! (I really, really wish that)

 

granted, but now they have discovered they are fond of your scrotum and earlobes.




I wish danger was my middle name.

 

I can't stand anything touching my earlobes!

granted. But it's hard to take anyone with the name "crummydangerrummy" very seriously, isn't it?

I wish my wife was incredibly big-busted...

 

granted, but now she is your exwife.



I wish I had business cards with Crummy "DANGER" Rummy printed on them.

 

Granted, but they give everyone papercuts!

I wish I wasn't so hungover right now.

 

Granted- You suddenly sober up because you saw your parents having sex.

I wish something better was on TV.

 

Granted!!! An endless hidden video loop of you in the shower . . . on every channel.

I wish we had a different president.

 

Granted, but now some other greedy inhuman fuckwit has taken his place.

I wish that wasnt to be true.

 

too bad, hippie.



I wish lawn darts werent outlawed for sale in the U.S.

 

Your wish is grant, all the lawn darts will be given to you..


I wish l had some hot chocolate now..

 

granted, but there will be no marshmellows




I wish a had socks with toes on em.

 

Granted, but you're big toes tear right through them



I wish I had an Oscar Meyer Weiner

 

Granted, but Oscar Myer's Wiener isn't quite big enough to get things done...

I wish I had a happy ending.

 

granted, rainbows appear and all the children run through the field holding hands




I wish Don Knotts was still making movies

 

granted, but they are all tacky prequals that destroy the originals.

I wish i was a little bit taller, i wish i was a baller...

 

done, but you you are 41 lbs and made of plaster.




I wish I didnt ever have to go back to work....