love..

Discussion in 'Love and Sex' started by xdancingbarefootx, May 23, 2004.

  1. well since it is the "love" and sex forums... im gonna talk about love.. sort of..



    i got a question... how come people cheat?

    are they stupid? do they not realize they can just break up with a person instead of being lying sacks of shit and going behind theyre back

    wouldnt u break up with the person??


    it seems right....
     
  2. backtothelab

    backtothelab Senior Member

    I agree;
    Terribly petty and imature.
     
  3. GreenMan

    GreenMan Member

    No single answer or easy way to summarize "why" people cheat on each other. Lots of times they don't come clean because they realize they still love their partner, even after cheating. Sometimes the actual experience they had while cheating was enough to make them realize they may have made a big mistake by cheating, and that they actually still really care the most for their original lover. People are reluctant to hurt those they love or have been close to for a long time - so just admitting it is obviously very difficult and painful - for both people involved.

    It's best to come clean if you can, and take the consequences. But there are myriad circumstances to something like this, and my simple answers will not fit all situations - by any means!! I agree that it's not cool to deceive your partner, and cheat behind his/her back. That really hurts when/if you find out and catch them. That's happened to me before a long time ago, and yeah it really hurt me at the time.

    On the other hand, some people cheat because they really want a more expansive sexual territory to be allowed to play in, but they also like certain things that a more monogamistic relationship gives them. This is true for men & women. They may feel that a little on the side is harmless, and what the other person does not know will not hurt them. Is this a double standard - well sure it is! But in fact, in the long run, it probably does hurt the other person because I just think that if a certain level of feeling and commitment is not there, then it will become evident in other ways, too. More subtle, but the lack of commitment may be seen.:)
     
  4. nah yer wrong

    im sure you enjoy fucking with girls minds tho right.. ya cheat on lots of people?
     
  5. ...............
     
  6. Mr. Smith

    Mr. Smith Member

    What the heck are you talking about?
     
  7. Flowerchild

    Flowerchild Member

    My friend cheated on her boyfriend the day before yesterday, she called me and was completely devastated, she had such a bad conscience, it was horrible! Well, the whole thing went like this: she had argued with her boyfriend that day when she went to her friends party, it was a lot of alcohol involved...so she drank a little and there was this really cute guy sitting next to her, so she said to herself: What the heck? I can flirt a little...it's not a crime! So then she flirted and flirted more and the guy kept refilling her glass w/alcohol...eventually they ended up making out and having sex. The next morning she realized what she'd done and called me to talk about all of it. I don't say she's not guilty...it's her fault, on the other hand...that could've happened to me too! I don't know what to think about it!
     
  8. id feel too guilty to even flirt

    just thinking about it makes me feel guilty

    i just think whoever invented adultery was out of his fucking mind

    thats the reason i have a hard time trusting people..


    everyone cheats these days.. its ridiculous

    i want that to end
     
  9. WayfaringStranger

    WayfaringStranger Corporate Slave #34

    ok i like to be nice to people most the time but you seem to have a problem. yeah some people do cheat, but you cant control what other people do. so dont worry about it.
     
  10. uh yeah i have a problem with lying assholes
     
  11. Earthy Mama

    Earthy Mama Feel my wrath... ;)

    me too dancingbarefoot
    I dont trust any men anymore
     
  12. well its not just men.. its everyone..


    i dont trust my mother anymore...


    its sad..
     
  13. phrank

    phrank Member

    xdancingbarefootx

    Since you are thinking about specific elements of love (trust, etc), I thought that you might enjoy Leo Buscaglia's book titled "Love - What Life Is All About." It is an entertaining but profound examination of the subject in general. I think that most decent libraries would have a copy. If you do end up reading it, could you please let me know what you think.

    Peace,

    phrank
     
  14. Ikarion

    Ikarion Member

    GreenMan said:

    Well, i GUESS it´s pretty simple. Selfish people with no affection problems in their lives don´t think twice before fucking around. If they had spent along time alone they would be more sensitive to the harm they would cause, and would value the fact they have someone there for them. Instead they see it like the selfish childs they are, they see something "better" looking or just new, and go for it with no more consciousness problems, and the rest of us are the emotional suckers. It´s a fact of life that not everyone has the cultural values and education to control the sexual instinct wich is always searching for the best or newest genes. They are not bad people, neither those who suffer are necessary good people. It´s just a question to know the caracter of the person you´re with, something easy to find out in daily life if you´re paying atention. I GUESS.
     
  15. superNova

    superNova Member

    shit happens.

    being unforgiving is pretty bad too.

    not saying cheating is right by ANY MEANS. but it's a part of life, people make mistakes, they're imperfect. being in the wrong place at the wrong time involving alcohol happens. so don't hate everyone who makes mistakes.

    forgiveness is an amazing virtue to have.
     
  16. cbrmale

    cbrmale Member

    The background, we have been married for almost 18 years. During that time, we have had sex relatively regularly, typically three times per week. My wife is extremely passive with sex. I almost always inititate it, typically making a 'date' for sex sometime in advance as that works better fpr her.

    Once we get naked, she sort of lays there and I have to initiate the passion. Foreplay to orgasm, she is uncomfortable with me going down on her, but her body gives her away. She gets very wet and aroused. I usually bring her to orgasm, although it is hard to tell if she comes or not. Sometimes she barely responds, although sometimes starts to get warm. One or other of us pick the position, and again her reponse varies from barely nothing to slightly warm.

    It is hard work on me, given I drive the session and get very little feedback. I have tried many ways of improving communication in bed, by discussing it outside of the bedroom.

    I have thought maybe we are having sex more regularly than she can cope with. But, when I have been travelling and was having it less regularly, it made no difference. So strike that out. Even sex once a week could be indifferent.


    She is a lovely woman most of the time. A good friend and we have lots in common. But, no matter how much I try to encourage her to loosen up her sex, she doesn't get it.

    Lots of other married men get indifferent sex too. Many get no sex. At least some sex is better than none, but a sexually aware lover helps me to keep going.


    THIS IS WHY I, AND SO MANY MEN LIKE ME, CHEAT.
     
  17. ummm i dont really give a shit about you or your wifes sexual acitivities but fuck! thanks for fucking warning me before i read that bullshit
     
  18. and that gives you absolutly no reason or right to cheat on your wife or anyone


    your fucking disgusting...lots of women dont like sex.. cant you be a man and just fucking break it off and then go find someone that will suck your fucking dick... or just fucking get a hooker godamn you fucking disgust me
     

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