I grew up on my parent's dairy farm. Being an only child and a girl, I wasn't as much help as my parents needed to make the dairy business work. So at about the age of 16 my parents hired an amish boy who was also 16. Well we grew up together and were both very dedicated to making the farm business work. We both loved the cows and horses and as the years went by we became closer and closer. It got so that whenever I was in trouble on the farm with an animal or farm equipment, he would show up and help me out. Now you can't be this close to someone without falling in love with them. But he was amish and eventually married an amish lady. Our relationship continued to be just as intense, but of course without sex. He did move away with his wife and started his own dairy farm. To this day we both know that we love each other but can never consummate our relationship. It is interesting to love someone out there who you hardly ever even see.
That's actually quite sad & an indictment on the prejudices & morals that afflict religious & cultural sects.
Yes this is a sad situation brought about by cultural prejudices, but the fact that he was brought up amish made it possible for him to be so good with the cows and horses to the point where my parents and I were able to stay in business. It was real and it was nice, but it wasn't real nice, lol Thanks for your input.
I can understand how it can be seen as sad. But its also beautiful that you got to experience love. Some go through life never experiencing that.
I find that love comes into your life and you either let it happen or ignore it. I usually let it happen, and lately I've been letting myself love in this virtual world. It's a real roller coaster ride. The rush brings me to a higher consciousness level which can be very addictive. But I practice love without attachment and let myself experience the down when the guy I'm having a relationship with stops loving me and tries to use me for whatever end he has in mind. Then comes the emptiness that we started talking about here. For me this emptiness is a time of healing until the next wave of love comes along. And it always does because I never betray love.
Beautiful experience and even greater that you can realize such a thing. It is sad but we learn from our experiences. Life works in mysterious ways you never know whats ahead of you.
Opening your heart comes with risks. You may bleed a little. You have to weigh it out. Was the experience worth it? It often takes a while to view things clearly, in retrospect. I never regret the love and any pain flavors it bittersweet but sweet just the same.
You have wonderful insight, Aerianne. I was recently with a guy on second life who was always pushing me to have virtual sex. Well I try to insist on a good relationship before I engage in this sort of thing but find I do sometimes give in to pressure. I did in this case but it just didn't feel right. Then I found out he was at work when we met on line and so for me he just wasn't there enough to let myself go. So I asked him if we could meet sometime when he wasn't working and that's when I found out he was married. I told him he was asking a lot of me to have a sexual experience with him while he was giving me so little of himself. Basically I told him the experience just wasn't worth it for me. I can't go all the way even in the virtual world and not get emotionally involved.
Love is a mystery to me. When people speak of love they speak of a love that depends on someone else. Which is a love i've never experienced. I like the love that you talk about because it is a love without attachment, without clinging to someone or thing. That sounds more real. I felt strong feeling before but didn't know what it was. There was no thought that this was love or that this was bliss or joy, there was just that feeling with no name to it.
Sweet story. And I might add that I worked on a farm, and in some other tough physical jobs. Something about physical, challenging work bonds people. That struggle that you engage in together, it connects you. And it's definitely possible to love someone-even romantically- without having sex with them. It is fun and enlightening, if not painful.
I guess this is something we have in common, an awareness that sees through the illusions of this world. Even friendship is for the most part a farce. I often find myself awash in a sea of illusion. Then you get to the point where you wonder is anything real on this material plain. What we are doing here is real for me. Relating with another person for no other reason than it is refreshing.
I totally agree, physical, challenging work creates very strong emotional bonds with the people you work through problems with. I was very attracted to Amish boys after David (the amish boy of this thread) left and during haying season I work with a hay crew of 3 or 4 Amish boys. We’ve been doing this for years and to the Amish boys I’m just one of the guys. But I know, and I’m sure their mothers know, I’m not. And I must confess that I do get distracted by sweaty Amish boys. Nevertheless, so far my discipline has held and we all seem to work well together. What is interesting is that they don’t get distracted by me. There is a single minded focus of getting the job done which I am able to tune into when I overcome my distractions. Now none of us are getting paid by the hour for this work. The only reward is the chance to do it again tomorrow. And yet when we reach this level of consciousness whatever resistance we encounter gets overcome and there is a great amount of satisfaction gained by the experience. On a metaphysical level, living in this consciousness puts you out of the reach of the greedy power freaks of the world. You make so many bales of hay, so much corn silage, ship so much milk and the people in control of the money can’t seem to lower your consciousness. They try but you are truly free of them,
I rather have love without sex than sex without love......but I sure do not condemn it for what someone else wants to do....as how I feel is me and not any condemnation of how anyone else feels....but I really came here to talk to TD about a love depending on someone else. No, it doesn't....love is love.....pure and true......and sometimes love will set something free, as that something does not seem to want to be with the one who loves them, so letting them out of the box frees them ...and says...fly free little bird......I am not caging you.....and if you want to be with me...you ask next time.....I am here..... Also, love does not mean here.....I love you, but do whatever you want to me and hurt me and i will still love you.....maybe I will....but love cannot grow with someone always feeling hurt, either....i give unconditional love to those I love and....to animals....and how do I depend or expect anything of them. I don't.
Thanks....Yeah, I do, too...the thing is...is to not settle for anything less...you may have to kiss a few frogs first before you find your Prince or Princess......
It is sure , that it is possible to love someone without having sex. Love is about respect and truth. First there should be respect ,love is growing ,and we are all human , making love is natural thing that flows out of the respect for one to the other.
