To have a "love child" or not. The name is described as a child out out of wedlock. My fiancé and I are on the path to marriage, and we want to bring our family together for the occasion. The logistics are keeping us from being wed sooner than later. One thing we have been wanting is to conceive. We both really want to have a baby, and its like the ultimate turn on for us. To share our love and make another human being We don't use any birth control (I don't believe in it I think its totally unnatural and unhealthy), nor condoms (we're totally safely monogamous) - I also don't believe in condoms because they psychologically inhibit me from really enjoying sex (luckily my fiancé agrees), we also don't use rhythm or pull out because neither of us want to disrupt the flow of happy/great sex. All would be perfect if only we could get married already. My man said something to me recently, that he would prefer that we're married before I get pregnant because he doesn't want people to think less of me or that he only married me because he knocked me up. At the same time, we're finding it hard to hold back. So its a double edged blade… what are your thoughts on having a love child?
When you say that the logistics are keeping you from getting married do you mean financial logistics?
If it is what you want then you should go for it. It doesn't matter what anybody else thinks! Good Luck!
a child is such a HUGE thing.....once you're pregnant it won't matter at all what anyone thinks. I have a love child. My boyfriend and I conceived after we had not even been dating a year. We weren't trying, it was a pleasant surprise, and I distinctly remember feeling embarrassed when I told my friends I was pregnant. I felt like it was glaringly obvious we had been completely irresponsible. but of course my feelings of embarrassment only lasted until the first ultra sound, because from that point on i was completely in love with my baby. We still aren't married and have no plans to get married and no one thinks anything of it. We're a happy family with both a very involved mother and father, and in a world where that is a rarity I think people enjoy seeing us as a family. As long as you're good to each other and the baby, I think marriage is a non issue
If you have sufficient financial resources and family support to make it work, go for it! I know somebody who did this earlier this year. She has a good job, her mother was totally supportive of the decision, and everything is going well for them.
Thank you thank you thank you to all of you for the positive feedback. We came to a conclusion (lol but knowing us both, it's a solution until if/when we change our minds). We are not going to TRY to get pregnant anymore, but if it happens we certainly won't regret it. That's our piece of mind right now. Indie Hippy - The logistics have been financial and time scheduling. Both of our families are spread out across the country. I don't want to inconvenience anyone at all or put them in any hardships by attending our ceremony. So we've coordinated the date based on when we can experience it with everyone. Also financially, we're helping to pay the travel fare for a couple of them who work really hard but won't have the ability to come unless we do. The wedding is pretty economical / low budget though, I'm not into frills and I would rather keep building our nest egg for the future rather than spend it on the experience of one day that we share. Though it will be very special as I'm pretty creative Meliai - I really respect that you two have a loving home, despite being unmarried. The end result is the most important imo. What I mean is, you could be married to someone you didn't love and have an unhappy home - or you could be unmarried to someone and have a terrific life together. Not sure if that makes a lot of sense, it does in my mind I just don't know how to explain it. Heh, but I am ver happy for you and congratulations on your baby ps. I would have posted more smiles to you Meliai but HF is limiting the amount of awesome faces I can make at you!!
Thank you for the response. It sounds like you two have a lot to work out, and the reason I asked about the financial part was to clarify your logistics. If you want a child just ensure that you are financially capable of handling it. Not to say that having your first new life is something that you shouldn't want, just trying to convey the importance of finances
100% agree. Our budgeting and income would adequately support a baby. The wedding is a separate expense
As a sidenote comment, I really wonder what Jesus would think about the whole "marriage" being out of reach for couples because of financial reasons, therefore by default forcing the sin of fornication upon Christian followers... ^This comment isn't made as a criticism of the OP or anybody here this is just a twist on the discussion of the stigma in society that comes from religious views, that plops shame and shunning on couples with babies out of "wedlock", which in some ways is more business oriented than anything else.
Happily, how long have you two been dating/engaged? I don't think marriage is necessary to raise happy and successful children, at all! It's a formality. Love and devotion to your spouse and your child are what is real.
'Love child' is a great euphemism for bastard Lol. Had I heard about that term growing up, I think i would've paraded it like a term of honor.
Your definition for the term 'love child' is the exact same as the literal definition for the word bastard.
Yeah I'm aware of the negative, more vulgar term. But my child will not be a bastard. Do you have some judgement to put straight out here? Because if not go shit on someone else's thread.
Imho, just get married now, like the legal justice of the peace marriage. Then later do the church and ceremony deal, or whatever you want to do once you can get people together.
Thats good advice. I think it also gives my child, and each of us better rights in the event something unfortunate happened (like death or illness)- god forbid. Ty again
I had friends who did the justice of the peace and had their children. On their 10th anniversary they threw a party to celebrate it and paid for it. It was an unofficial wedding reception that they did not have. They renewed their vows and had the celebration. That was 15 years ago and they are still married and their kids are adults. That party was a blast. EDIT CAUSE I BE DUMB: Have a child when you are both ready to love and raise it. That is the only rule and the only thing that matters.
