Loosing Someone You Love (temporarily)

Discussion in 'True Love' started by bluedragonfly, Oct 17, 2010.

  1. bluedragonfly

    bluedragonfly Member

    I don't care if you think younger people cannot fall in love. Over a year ago I fell in love with one of my close friends.. He is younger than me, but since he is 17 we assumed things were legal. We never ever had physical contact while we were together in person. We were very careful in case we were wrong.

    Apparently the way we have texted, keep in mind its hard to have no sex life for a year, is a felony. What he and I BOTH have done. I'm sorry, I'm not going into detail.

    I'm not making this post to ask for help on how to get out of this. I know I can't. His parents are not pressing charges and they just said I could not talk to him. The police said I could talk to him IF he starts a conversation but I cannot start one. The thing is.. the police called me, his mom called me, but I know he is getting a different story.

    When his Mom called me she kept saying how sorry she was. BULLSHIT. I have heard nothing but insane things about this lady. If she realized how much we have both helped each other in our lives.

    I cannot say he is my world. That is unhealthy and I realize that.. but he is the one person I can trust, tell anything to, and who honestly understands. He comforts me and I do the same for him. I have never been a better person till now. I've had so many health problems and I never thought there would be a guy who understands them.. but he has been there constantly.

    Sure our relationship sounds weird. I know it does. And it is different..

    He gave me a promise ring a few days ago and we are sure we are soulmates and will marry someday..

    But now what? Now we cannot SPEAK until Feb 28. His mom said maybe sooner but the way she is there is no freaking way.

    I hurt like someone died. I haven't hurt like since the last time I lost a close person actually. I'm living off my xanaxs but they don't help. I'm out of my pain pills (I do take them because I have to.. Im even on fent patches but I had trouble with them and I'm low so yeah.. I'm on major pain on top of this.

    I just want to sleep. Sometimes I think I can make it through this.. but then I think about how long it is and I don't know if I can.

    I know military wives go through this all the time, and bless them. I cannot imagine that situation, so don't think I'm comparing myself to them. I'm not comparing myself to anyone. I do realize things could always be worse.

    I just need some coping factors.. He said he wants me to wait and to not take off the ring (i know this through a friend.) How will I keep knowing? I actually think he will have an easier time staying faithful than I will. I just don't know if I can save myself for that many months.

    I need help with the pain.. What can I do? Keep myself busy? I know. But other than that.. I'm just.. lost..
  2. lynzxx

    lynzxx Senior Member

    how did they find out what you were texting to eachother?

    i think its messed up, i think his parents should stay out, its none of their business, i feel bad for you, i would hate that to happen to me.. !! i hope you two get through it and are able to be together someday .

    if its meant to be, it will be :)
  3. bluedragonfly

    bluedragonfly Member

    He bought a new phone so that he could have more minutes. Anytime his family went over on minuets (even if it wasn't his fault..) he had to pay the extra bill. Often $40ish. He cannot really afford to pay living expenses his mom is trying to give him, paying for gas to get to work ($40 to parents/brother).. anywayyy he needed to save money so he gets this new phone.

    He hid the old phone according to him.. and he says he meant to delete everything, but left the memory card in on accident. What bothers me SO much is that I got really angry at him. The last time we talked I was mad..

    I feel like he's dead. I don't mean to be dramatic but I do. I can't even text him because his Mom has his phone and of course I'm not supposed to. I wish I had some way to reach out and know how he is!!
  4. Sunflower Sky

    Sunflower Sky Member

    If you really do love him, you'll find a way. You'll be able to wait :)
  5. If you love him, being able to wait should be no issues. It's not that long really.
  6. squibbles

    squibbles Member

    In a time when time's moved passed us, and the earth no longer rotates on its axis, when the clock stops tickin and the world stops spinning ill be there for you. ad infinitum.
  7. bluedragonfly

    bluedragonfly Member

    Thank you guys. I know I'll be able to wait but damn it hurts and I sure hope I don't get my heart broken because of all this.
  8. lunarverse

    lunarverse The Living End

    Yet you care about him enough to feel as though he's dead?

    If he meant that much I wouldn't think waiting 4 months would be that trying.
  9. I'm a troll

    I'm a troll Banned

    rule of thumb: if he's not legal yet, assume things AREN'T legal...

    based on your posts in this thread, it looks like a 4 month break would probably be good for you.
  10. SpacemanSpiff

    SpacemanSpiff Visitor

    texting?...or sexting :rolleyes:
  11. lynzxx

    lynzxx Senior Member

  12. TipsyGypsy

    TipsyGypsy Light of a Fading Star

    That's one point I picked up one.

    I was with someone I loved who went away a lot of the time, but never once did I think that I couldn't wait until he got back.
  13. bluedragonfly

    bluedragonfly Member

    You're totally right. the way I said that sounded very wrong. I'm just still in shock I guess. It's not like this was some planned thing where I knew he was going away or something.

    I should have been more careful, thats for damn sure. You're right about that.

    Haha, I hate the word sexting.

    And.. yeah of course I know I can wait. I would wait a year for him. But it's dealing with the pain now. How do you deal with that? Missing him so horribly? Needing him to talk to.. and I can't. Not at all.

    I think maybe we were TOO close so this break is good in that way.. but I just don't know what to do at this moment. That is where Im messed up.
  14. lunarverse

    lunarverse The Living End

    You said that you're allowed to talk to him as long as he initiates the conversation. Why isn't he talking to you?

    A small break might do you well. Sometimes young relationships can get a little too stuffy. A little leg room usually does people well and can really be key to a good relationship.
  15. bluedragonfly

    bluedragonfly Member

    because he doesn't know this apparently. the police told ME this. his mom Im sure is telling him a different thing. if I had some way to send him a message trust me, I would.
  16. bluedragonfly

    bluedragonfly Member

    I wish I knew how to snap out of this. I wake up and expect to hear him and I don't.. I don't have him at night, but all I do is sleep all day. Thank god for xanax. I want to not depend on my medicine.. but this feeling in my stomach is pathetic. I know crying constantly is pathetic. I just want that to go away!!!
  17. lunarverse

    lunarverse The Living End

    Well, developing a drug habit isn't going to fix anything or do you any good. Suffering builds character and makes us able to deal with what the future might bring. Do you plan on turning to drugs every time a problem presents itself to you?

    Write him letters, state how much you care about him and how you feel, good and bad. It will help to even just express your thoughts and get them off your chest. Then when you can see him in four months, give him all the letters you've written. It'll show him how much you care about him.

    When you see him again would you rather be happy, or a druged up mess?

    People sometimes grow apart in life or are separated for whatever reason. It's what you choose to do with yourself and how to choose to deal with things and how you operate yourself that turns you into the person you'll become.

    Do you want to want somebody, or do you want to need them?

    If you need them, what happens when they're no longer around?

    Go about your life, doing things you want to do, being yourself. You might like yourself more in the end and learn something about yourself. Someone who knows themselves and is confident in their own skin is more attractive anyways, it's a win win situation.
  18. bluedragonfly

    bluedragonfly Member

    Thank you.. that sounds like good advice, but it's not as easy as it seems for me. I have been on the xanax for quite awhile and I have to admit I already have issues. Mainly with two other forms of medicine.. but yeah.

    You're very right though. I should focus on making myself a better person for him when we can talk. I'd love to surprise him by being off all my pain medicine and that kind of stuff.

    Thank you.
  19. lunarverse

    lunarverse The Living End

    If the medicine is necessary for health reasons, that's one thing. But if you use them to cope or to numb that's a little different.

    Don't get me wrong, I'm not telling you what to do. That's your choice.

    But you might be surprised by the kind of person you really are when you try yourself and face problems head on. It can really build one's confidence and make them stronger for it.

    Don't think of making yourself a better person for him. Do it for yourself, because at the end of the day all we ever really have is ourselves. If you were ever without him, such as you are now, you wouldn't have the motivation to maintain your character as you improved it for him, and not yourself.

    Be the person you'd like to be, do it for yourself. It'll mean so much more and you'll be so much better off for it. It really is amazing how life can change when you decide that you want things for yourself, and that you deserve them because you believe you do.
  20. wildmoonflower

    wildmoonflower Members

    I hope everything works out for you, sis! Sounds like it's worth the wait!

    I agree that in this time you have to yourself, you should try to better yourself and get yourself back again by weening off the Xanax and other pills, they're yucky and no good for the soul. Pills don't cure the pain, they only numb you temporarily while causing problems all of their own. Try meditation, prayer and art as therapy instead. You'll be a better, stronger, more balanced person, both for you and for him.

    Sending love and light your way!! :)


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