Looking for some friends to talk to

Discussion in 'Lesbian, Gay, Bi, Trans, etc.' started by andymichels, Mar 23, 2008.

  1. andymichels

    andymichels Member

    Hey folks!

    Im Andy. I'm married and BI. I just looking for some friends to talk with who can relate. I really have no one to talk to about what i'm feeling. Any one interested let me know.

  2. smoothie6in

    smoothie6in Member

    I'm in the same boat as you Andy.
  3. crikeycharlie

    crikeycharlie Member

    I cant relate a great deal but im more than willing to listen to how your feeling and stuff, whats going on with you gus at the moment? Do your wives know or anything?
  4. andymichels

    andymichels Member

    Hey guys thanks for the reply! My wife does not know anything. Let me tell you a little about my situation.

    I've been married 22 years and have 2 sons, one 17 and one 21. I love my wife and we have a good sex life, but its just not enough. I always feel like something is missing. I have always had feelings towards men but it seems the older I get the stronger it becomes. I am not sure what to do. If I were to come out life as I know it would be over. I would loose my job, my family and my standing in the community. I live in a very small ultra conservative town and my wife has strong religious beliefs against homosexuality. My biggest problem is being lonely. I just don't have anyone to talk to when I'm feeling stressed about these things. I am not sure where to turn so the internet seemed like a possible solution. I don't know what more to say i guess. If anyone knows of any resources online I would be grateful.
  5. andymichels

    andymichels Member

    Hey! I tried to send you a PM but it wont work. Drop me and email and maybe we can talk a little. andymichels@live.com.

  6. crikeycharlie

    crikeycharlie Member

    you could try www.marriedgay.org or just google something along the lines of help for a married man who is gay/bi.

    I was gonna suggest speaking to your wife about doing some anal play in the bedroom to see if that might help a bit but if she is very religious it aint gonna do much is it so that idea was crap lol!

    Have you ever thought about leaving her and moving away to somewhere new or is that out of the question?

    I think lonelyness is what everyone fears, especially those of us who are bi or gay and in your case living in a small community its got to be well hard for you.

    I feel for you man its gotta be rough.
  7. 87s

    87s Member

    talking and all is great but if you're really considering it, use something like craigslist, do it outside of where you live, somewhere discreet, voila. if you have any doubts, read toppers bi experience in the bi forum!
  8. lostdazedintime

    lostdazedintime Fucked in the head

    craigslist is great and all but cheating sucks.

  9. Yes, the internet would be a good place to get things off your chest.

    As for the loneliness thing for the gay side, very different story for those in rural areas compared to those in Urban areas, if you ever did consider leaving your wife to pursue that you are better off moving to the big city where there are a decent amount of other gays guys around

    Also, just so you know, a lot of gay guys can be just as clueless about the bi thing as straight guys can be (myself included), take their advice with a grain of salt, its probably other bi guys that will understand you the most
  10. andymichels

    andymichels Member

    Thanks for all the encouragement guys. I don't think I am willing to leave. I do love her. I don't want to cheat, but I may end up doing that. I'm just very confused. Do I put my needs in front of my family? I don't think I can do that. I guess for now anyway I'm kinda stuck. Hanging around places online where I at least can talk to people who understand does help. Thanks again!

  11. crikeycharlie

    crikeycharlie Member

    It sound selfish but once in a while we all need to put ourselves before other people...I mean you been married for a long time and have 2 kids who are young men, you have spent years looking after them, its your turn now, do something for you!

    Just so you no I dont encourage couples seperating i just think sometimes you gotta be cruel to be kind!
  12. calisouth

    calisouth Member

  13. 87s

    87s Member

    probably best to keep those feelings underwraps since you still love your wife. it would be a different story if you didn't. if it's just something sexual, i mean everyone has their fantasies of getting it on with other people while they're in a relationship of some type but i wouldn't test it unless your willing to break what your in beforehand. if you think you could fall in love with a man then i'd say break it off with your wife the right way instead of behind her back if you were to ever go ahead with it.
  14. andymichels

    andymichels Member

    Thanks for all the input folks. This is helping a lot. I don;t know if I could fall in love with a man. Right now it just seems like a sexual thing. I don;t want to cheat on my wife but at this point I think it might happen. Still confused but working on it!

  15. gulfcoastdude

    gulfcoastdude Member

    If you do decide to have a sexual encounter with another man be sure to use protection, you don't want to take a STD back to your wife.
  16. calisouth

    calisouth Member

  17. andymichels

    andymichels Member

    Wow! I can't say I haven't thought of things like that but seeing it in black and white is a bit shocking. I still don't know what to do. I don't want to hurt anyone but I need to be happy. I need to figure out how I can make myself happy without destroying other people and the life I'v built. I appreciate the advice and input!!!

  18. calisouth

    calisouth Member

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