Hey, I'm new here. I just wanted to ask what its like to have a relationship? I hear a lot of noise about how wonderful it is, but the more I see what it entails the more I know I would absolutely hate it. I don't care how beautiful or wonderful the girl is, it just seems like a bunch of fluffy bullshit to me. I'm almost glad I'm ugly and weird. I just don't think I could ever stand to be involved with someone an any level, or for any length of time. Sure, I might spend one afternoon (or a couple hours out one afternoon) talking with someone and having a meal or something, but beyond that is just too much for me. Just to let everyone know. I'm an older man and have never had sex or a relationship. I've been a loner for my entire life. I just never caught on to the whole deal. It never interested me. However, there is still a piece of me that wonders what its like. I don't and WON'T do it now. I've just never been good with the ladies. I doesn't matter what kind of lady you are, you'll find me repulsive and disgusting. I've kept my distance for years without talking about it much really. I'm just wondering if love, romance, and sex is what they make it seem in the movies? It just seems like an indoctrination type thing that people get sucked into. They think their society expects it of them and we have built up this perpetual continuum of people who want to date, marry, and have sex. I guess its all biological too. But I've just never had the urge. I'm not here because I'm now getting the urge, but because it has recently dawned on me that I have never even asked anyone about this. So what's it all like? Be honest. Thanks!
Well, I really cannot disagree with you. Relationships really are not all they are cracked up to be, especially this day in age where everything is so dysfunctional and the genders are basically at war with each other thanks to social engineering like feminism, which turns most women into frigid, unlovable cunts. The majority of men are no better. Relationships tend to strap a person down, especially those who are individualistic and cherish their autonomy. You compromise a lot to make another person happy, and often what you get in return is not worth the compromise, at least in my own opinion. I would personally be just fine being alone forever. I do enjoy sex, but at the same time I realize it isn't everything most people make it out to be. Most people's views towards sex have been conditioned into them by the current culture in the west, which is a product of the media and pornography. For most of human history, sex was primarily about procreation. It wasn't until recently that it has been associated primarily with pleasure. If you travel to a place like Africa or South America, to experience life among an indigenous culture, you don't see the men walking around with boners over the sight of women's bare breasts. They are seen for what they are, which is basically a feeding station for babies. So the obsession people have with sex in the west is a product of societal conditioning. So yeah, if you like being alone, there is nothing to be ashamed about. I would be fine simply having casual sex with different women throughout my life. I love my girlfriend, but at the same time I would be lying if I said that I didn't miss being single, even though there were times when I was single where I was lonely and wanted companionship. But I really find it to be much better to be alone than with someone you have nothing in common with. I really think long-term relationships, and especially marriage, are very unnatural. Marriage is basically a product of religion, and religion is just another tool of control. It's little more than contracted prostitution.
Do you have something that you're very passionate about, that you put a lot of time and effort into, and enjoy experiencing the fruit of your labor grow? That's what being in a relationship is like, at least a positive one. Most people, even the ones that act like they are above being with someone, want and need to be in a relationship. That's just how we are. A lot of us want and need that. However, I do think you can be content, even happy without being with someone if you replace the passion that you would get from being in a relationship with another passion, for example religion, or a career. Personally for me, i find passion being in a relationship. And I don't get that passion anywhere else. So, I... as an individual want and need that. But, if you have something else you're passionate about, then more power to you.
Why did you decide to have a girlfriend if you think such a way about relationships? That's the thing I never understood, people who date, are looking for people to date, etc speaking negatively of being in a relationship. If it's so bad, why are you bothering? I think being in a relationship is wonderful. It's better than being alone, that's for sure.
Well, because I feel the relationship I have with my girlfriend is different than the relationships most people have in western culture. Because my girlfriend is from Africa, she is much less indoctrinated than the majority of women who were born in raised in a place such as the US. She does not have that feminist mentality most women have where they always feel the need to challenge men and dominate them. So I feel lucky in that respect. I could not ask for a better girlfriend than the one I have. She is loving, feminine, and gives me everything I want. At the same time, I cherish my individuality, though I feel my girlfriend gives me more personal space than any American woman would. I was not referring to all relationships, just most. I feel at this point I could only be in a relationship with a foreign woman. They make for much better lovers (and mothers) than western women. I would go for a woman from Africa, South America, or Asia any day over a woman from the US, Canada or Europe.
Please tell me you have actually been to Africa or South America to experience life among an indigenous culture. Oh, and what exactly do you mean by "until recently"?
So, you're saying that most relationships are like that, but you're still open to finding, which you already did.. that one person where you can have a better relationship with. That makes sense. I just wish people weren't so negative about being in a relationship when they themselves are in a relationship. It comes off like they're bitter and hypocritical. There are some people out there who can't be in a relationship, definitely not a positive one. They just come off as ungrateful.
I have never been to either South America or Africa, and I don't feel it's necessary to travel to these places to have at least some understanding of what the culture is like. I am certain there is nothing erroneous about what I said. These people simply do not view sex the same way as people in the so-called "civilized" world, where people's views are instilled in them from birth by the media. And when I said "until recently," I was referring to the last 100 years or so. That is pretty recent when taken in the context of the entirety of human history. Hell, people's attitudes towards sex have changed drastically in just the last 50 years. I am pretty sure ass-to-mouth was unheard of 50, or even 30 years ago.
Yeah you can get that stuff off the internet, everybody knows that. First hand knowledge is completely overrated. I have no idea about ass-to-mouth but I'm pretty sure that the romans had a lot of fun poking their women. And that was 2000 years ago.
This is true, but that was one chunk of time that occurred over a much larger chunk of time. And sex under the Roman Empire was the part of the "bread and circuses," much like it is used today by the system as a distraction from more important things. The same tools of controlling the masses that were used back then are still used today. Sex is a great tool for controlling the masses. If you have a mass of people obsessed with sex, pornography and other base-level things, they're not going to care much about overthrowing the existing order. The Roman Empire was a controlled system of governmental control, and in no way represented the natural order of things.
I've considered giving it a shot just to make sure its a bad idea before I write it off as one. But my rational mind keeps telling me its bullshit. Look at me, I'm speaking as if I'd even be able to get a girl to interact with me if I wanted to try it. That can never happen so the question is erroneous anyway.
There are plenty of desperate, lonely women out there who would go with pretty much anyone they can find that will accept them. The question is, how picky are you when it comes to looks? You say you're ugly and women would not even interact with you, but would you interact with a woman who is "ugly" and/or morbidly obese? See, it goes both ways.
I've always been too self contained to be good at relationships. ...I think I might actually be one of those feminist, unlovable cunts pressed rat is referring to lol. I dont want to dominate a man, at all. But neither do I want to be dominated. I''m free spirited and I do well in relationships where I can come and go as I please and do my own thing whenever I want. I can't really deal with dudes who start acting insecure for me just being me, and that has happened in past relationships. I'm honestly not sure if my partner and I would still be together if we didn't have a child. Not that we're together ONLY for the kid, we actually have a very healthy relationship but we have to work at it and I've always kinda given up on that part in the past, it was always easier to cut my losses and be alone. But, to answer your question in the context of my relationship, we have a true partnership. We are building a life together. And i suppose both of us are independent enough to do it alone, but we have fun together and he makes me laugh and makes life more enjoyable than it would be alone.
No I wouldn't, and I admit the double standard. This not me trying to be mean, its just my own preferences. I guess you could say that if there are women who would like me, I would probably not like them. Now that I'm old its much worse and it would definitely take someone from the deepest depths of the barrel to find me attractive. I've been bullied by both boys and girls for being ugly and awkward. No woman I've ever met has ever had a kind thing to say to me. I think they see the ugliness first and then the bad personality steps in to finish things off. I really don't blame them and its fine. I only tend to get mad when people do things to me and I can't figure out why they're doing it, but I know why women act like this towards me so it doesn't really bother me. Knowing why helps put it into perspective and make it okay. My main concern was just to ask whether or not I missed something not trying it? I guess it depends on many things.
I can relate to you OP, I suppose. I'm a woman, though, so things are a bit different. I've always been a loner, I'm often considered weird, and I'm not particularly attractive, in the conventional way. Relationships are nice, and not too difficult if you find the right balance. For me, it's extremely important to be able to do my own thing, and I greatly enjoy my space. It's a great thing when you can walk your own path, get enough time alone, and enjoy companionship when you like. If you were to find someone who respects your space, I think you would fall quickly and easily into all of the great things that come with being in a partnership. Love is amazing, and I don't mean to sound cliche. There is a reason that people seek it, like they hunt down any other high. It's special and awe-inspiring at it's best. Love itself transcends the media, although people too often expect the false promises that love offers in popular culture. If you can see past that, it is certainly something to experience at least once. Why do you think women find you repulsive? Most people aren't as obsessed with appearances as it seems like. What is it?
I gave everything to a very long relationship, but got lost in the control of a man that wanted to be the boss, as most guys like to do... I come from a generation of women, who did what their man wanted! But you know what, when the kids went, it wasn't the same, there was no longer enough love to keep that relationship alive! If you truly love someone and see them as an equal, relationships are brilliant, sex within a loving relationship is brilliant. You can love someone no matter what they look like, the growing old together proves that! But relationships are brilliant if you do it together, as a partnership, or it won't work for you both. Pressed rat, the women you talk about, from the places you mentioned, are rarely happy, they do for a man what they do, because that's how they are brought up! Think about that, that's why they are good at what they do. They also come from places that are male dominated, that's why they do such barbaric things to the women, no pleasure for them, only men! Why would you prefer that? You are just adding to the male domination of women, perhaps you are ignorant to be of that type of men, selfish, I can honestly say, I feel sorry for your girlfriend, and I hope she never reads what you have written! Op, what ever your reason for self loathing, there is someone for everyone out there, don't give up, on what you have never tried, at least give it a go. Good luck
I find that it makes you devolve. Not in a bad way. You just feel like a single celled organism. Like, the act of having sex turns you into this thing that engages in reproduction, rather than a person with an intricate psyche. It doesn't make you smarter or anything, except where its advantageous to have experience in copulation. Most people think of devolving as a bad thing, but it's really a pleasureful experience to be just rudimentary matter multiplying.
There is a part of me who wants to try it, but then the reality sits in. Even if I were to try, women either come in two forms for me: Women who find me unattractive and want to evacuate the room immediately upon seeing me, and women who find me unattractive and want to evacuate the room immediately upon seeing me who are also taken. I have not met or seen one human female in my entire life who has shown even the slightest inclination of being attracted to me, nor have I ever been informed that someone is attracted to me by someone else. Female human contact has NEVER been even the smallest particle of my life. I'm too old now anyway so its useless, but I guess I'm okay with it.
